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Old 04-08-2019, 08:29 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 3,216,837 times
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https://dailyvoice.com/new-jersey/es...nceton/765721/

A perfect example proving a student’s abilities and parental involvement are the major factors in a child’s success.
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Old 04-09-2019, 03:14 AM
 
20,541 posts, read 16,611,821 times
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Originally Posted by Adiroop View Post
No...actually doing research for the future in terms of buying etc. As someone who has not been in these systems, I dont know how important it is to go for the absolutely "best" schools considering that you have to pay significantly higher.
I donít know I guess it depends what makes it great vs good. One thing to consider is that your child might be too 10% in good school district but middle of the pack in great district.
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Old 04-09-2019, 03:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
exactly. towns with excellent schools have parents that chose a town with excellent schools. those parents are different than the parents of kids who chose a town with "good" schools. the actual school isnt the difference.

so you have to decide what kind of a parent are you, a good school parent or an excellent school parent.
Not everyone can afford to live in those districts nor afford $10,000 a year. I do t think itís fair to imply the parents in rich district are any better parents.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:01 AM
 
15,388 posts, read 5,209,192 times
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Originally Posted by aceog View Post
You're comparing apples to oranges town wise. Totally different people, totally different vibe. If you're trying to keep up with the Jones' head to Millburn ...but you have to be OK with people who are often extremely snobby and entitled. If you feel the schools are good in the towns you listed, stick with them. The problem with towns like Milburn is that the parents run the schools, not vice versa.
Sounds like you have a problem with people who are successful ! The one thing that is for sure the parents "do not run the schools in Millburn" your bias is showing big time. You seriously know nothing of Millburn.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Adiroop View Post
We are exactly in a similar situation. We make around $200k. While it is higher than the median, it is much less than the average. It does not matter to us, but we are worried about the fact that my son will face issues at school.
If you expect your child to go through school or life without any issues your're living in a fantasy world. Stay where you are, there will be issues anywhere you go.
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Old 04-09-2019, 07:12 AM
 
15,388 posts, read 5,209,192 times
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Originally Posted by Adiroop View Post
We are exactly in a similar situation. We make around $200k. While it is higher than the median, it is much less than the average. It does not matter to us, but we are worried about the fact that my son will face issues at school.



With all due respect , find some place you like and is a nice town. There are many,some place you can afford .Yes some schools might due better then others but all are "good schools ,what is important is finding the right home /town ,place you and your family will be happy in .
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Old 04-09-2019, 08:11 AM
 
Location: NYC area
545 posts, read 453,925 times
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15 years in public education here--across 2 states, 3 districts, and 5 schools as I've gotten higher degrees and worked my way up the chain a little. How do you feel about the experience your kiddo is currently having in school? That's your biggest indicator.

The idea that the kids are smarter in the schools with more money is complicated. They have more support, yes. Their parents have more money to pay for tutoring or enrichment or fancy camps and have more time on their hands to manage their kids' school career because they aren't out working 2 jobs to barely pay rent and put food on the table. The kids in the higher socio-economic schools don't have to work part time. The parents can afford really expensive test prep courses and private tutors for SATs and college admissions. And all this stuff starts really young. Hoboken (in spite of the ideas on the board) is a town with a lot of money, and the things I see constantly posted kind of blow my mind. There are whole businesses set up from cradle to college devoted to "finding the best ______________" that people can find for their kids. In Hoboken, you can hire a preschool admissions counselor (we don't even have particularly rigorous preschool admissions process), you can hire a Nanny/Daycare counselor to help you "navigate the best choices for childcare for your family". You can hire a baby and child meal delivery service "for when you want the best organic food for your child, but are just too busy to make it yourself". You can hire a specialized service for cleaning your stroller (clean it myself? You must be mad!!), and you can hire a Summer Camp Adviser, who will save you the time and hassle of investigating summer camps for Junior on your own and for a generous fee, will sit down with you and find out about your family, and then match you to the best summer camp for your kids. There are paid advisers to help parents navigate the High School admissions process (for those switching from NJ schools to Manhattan privates for HS). The emphasis is always on "the best" and it's kind of an obsession. I would imagine that type of thing is even more intense in Short Hills/Ridgewood/Millburn/Summit/Chatham/Tenafly. So imagine the product of that kind of environment, and then imagine the kids who has a single parent working 2 jobs, who had to start working summers and after school at Dairy Queen at age 14, and who probably won't even be given an SAT prep book to study on their own. There's also a middle ground, with many hard working families who can't afford all the trappings of upper class life, but who emphasize studies and school and their kids will succeed, and maybe even have a little more grit and gumption than a kiddo who has been massaged into success, you know?

Your individual kid and your individual family determine 95% of student success. Read the "top 20%, Bottom 80%" paragraph in the article and read about the "opportunity hoarding" that the upper middle class has been engaged in the past couple of decades. https://www.investopedia.com/financi...s-are-you.aspx

As you can see from the article, there are some trends about "success" between the top 20% and the bottom 80%, but a student's individual determination and drive are worth way more than the amount parents spend on their house in the long run. We've seen with the recent college admissions cheating scandal that rich doesn't equal smart, with all these people whose kids had literally every single advantage in the world and even when someone took the SATs for them, they only made a 1300. pfffff. I've had kids living barely above poverty levels who scored higher than that, just by using an SAT prep workbook on their own.

Anyone can go look on the State's educational database for test scores and see that in Millburn and Chatham and Summit, the Asian students are outscoring their Caucasian counterparts. Is it because their families have more money? Is it because some ethnicities are inherently smarter than others? Or is it because they have a family environment that emphasizes the importance of schoolwork rather than say, travel baseball or travel soccer, or competitive cheerleading or dance competitions that so many American families get swept up in but are way less common in Asian countries where a kids' studies trump any other hobby?

There's a school in Jersey City, (PS 16) and a school in Union City (Sarah Gilmore) who equal or outscore Millburn/Chatham/Summit in almost every subject and grade. And if you look at the demographics, you'll see some interesting things. PS 16 in Jersey city has a very high Asian population (south and east), and it's numbers of low socio-economic students has dropped dramatically in the last decade as the waterfront area of JC has gentrified. Sarah Gilmore in Union City is a different beast altogether--it has higher numbers of low income and is majority hispanic school, but it's a selective admission public elementary school, so choosing the best students (from a variety of income levels) and putting them all in one school together has made test scores very high. This is an example of how income can be trumped by individual student/family determination. But if you ask people on these boards, many will say Jersey City or Union City schools are "bad". Even though the test scores tell us a different story.

Anyway, the best way to know how good a school is, is to ask parents of kids who go there. And if your school is not the absolute best, but is still in the top 20% nationwide, then congratulations! You are still safely engaged in the opportunity hoarding of the top 20%ers. =)
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Old 04-09-2019, 08:34 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,885 times
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Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
are you one of those snobby and/or entitled people?
Clearly you missed something.

is it better if the schools run the parents or if the parents run the schools? which scenario do you feel has better outcomes for the students?
You do realize your question leaves out the actual answer. The school itself and all that it entails should run the school with some input from parents where needed. The parents should parent thier children.
A school administration bullied by affluent parents to do as they say is not a good environment for anyone.
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Old 04-09-2019, 09:11 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,885 times
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Originally Posted by G1.. View Post
Sounds like you have a problem with people who are successful ! The one thing that is for sure the parents "do not run the schools in Millburn" your bias is showing big time. You seriously know nothing of Millburn.
Insecure much? My bias against people who are entitled jerks? I have a problem with new money, acting like new money. I never said anything about successful people. Your definition of success is surely narrow. Not everyone who sits in a position of comfort financially has to prove it or be a jerk about it.

If you're swimming in it, it's often hard to see it.
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Old 04-09-2019, 10:46 AM
 
Location: NJ
24,114 posts, read 30,231,951 times
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Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Not everyone can afford to live in those districts nor afford $10,000 a year. I do t think itís fair to imply the parents in rich district are any better parents.
im not sure the right word is "better" but it is fair to imply that these parents are going to ensure better outcomes than the parents sending their kids to lesser schools.
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