Translation (townhouse, buyer, subdivision)

[Calico696]

Cute country ranch = extremely outdated!

Nature abounds - don't plant anything or drive faster than 25 mph, deer are rampant.

Handyman special = the house is or needs to be gutted.

[fischfan13]

Over looks the water = You can see the Newark Bay.

[Calico696]

Minutes from NYC = 59 minutes (not quite an hour now is it?)

[lammius]

A lessons I've learned browsing ads in Jersey City:

Close to transportation = a jitney on the corner will take you to a bus which will take you to the PATH station.
Steps to PATH train = about 20,000 steps
Cozy 2BR = 400 sf alcove studio with a broom closet.
Perfect for couples! = the 2nd bedroom is DEFINITELY a broom closet!
Commuter's Dream = if your dream is to commute 4 hrs every day!
24Hr doorman = Your HOA in this bldg will be 6 times higher than a bldg w/out a doorman!
Laundry room in basement = is usually out of service
New Construction = Bayonne Box

[marye711]

New listing!!!..........but actually has been on the market with a different realtor for 2 years!

[girl-973-908-732]

Quiet Street = this neighborhood is bad as H!## but this block is okay.

Freshly painted = holes mostly covered.

New Flooring = cheap tiles finally replaced.

[wileynj]

Owners Must Sell = they need to get the hell out of Jersey before the property taxes eat them alive!

[Alex07860]

Sold as is = You're sh*t outta luck if you buy this dump.

[wileynj]

House is larger than it appears = Oh yeah...say who! a 6x6 room is not a bedroom pal!

[marye711]

desireable neighborhood......if you get along with the Bloods & Crips