Is the grass greener here or there? (house insurance, house)

[findinghope]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

And that's the key phrase, "right now". I said the exact same thing shortly after I moved, that I could never see myself moving back to New Jersey. For a lot of people, over time that changes.

As far as the feeling you had to have the perfect everything, that's just a matter of either being self conscious or needing to choose a different set of friends. Personally I could've cared less what people thought about where I lived, what I drove, what kind of work I did, etc., and the people I associated with never made it an issue.

how long have you been in nc?
my life is not perfect here and it was not perfect in NJ. i didnt have a mcmansion there and i sure dont have one here. we still drive the same old cars, have the same furniture, etc.
maybe in time i will want to move back to NJ. but as you said "right now" i am not feeling the moving bug yet.

[TheEmissary]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

Something a friend of mine said when he visited the Charlotte area before deciding whether or not he wanted to relocate with his job, "It's beautiful. I couldn't live there, but it's beautiful".

No, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. At least it wasn't in our case.

The Forbes article they did having Charlotte the ninth most miserable city in the US was off base though. The last thing I would call Charlotte is miserable. While the terminology may have been poor, I know what they were getting at. And yet for all the knocks that New Jersey takes, there's still a scattering of posts on either this particular forum or others with people looking to come back. I know a few people aside from my close pal who would love nothing more than to come back, it's just that their kids like it where they are and they don't want to uproot them again.

Tahiti won't be the only one turning out the lights when all is said and done.

I think more than a few people who move from NJ expecting the "greener grass" on that other side, to be nothing more than a collection of weeds, that looks good from a distance! Maybe, part of the problem in the perception of New Jersey, is our own self-deprecating sense of humor! New Jerseyans as a whole, can laugh at themselves and the state of their state, in a way that most other people cannot. I think it gives us a sense of resiliency that much of the rest of the country lacks in droves. Try saying something in another CD forum about a deficiency of that state and you're likely to get slammed! In the NJ forum, you'll have many posters agreeing with you. We, New Jerseyans are expert in pointing out when the "Emperor isn't wearing any clothes" and making pointed comments about it! It makes us unique!

Brian1970 - I believe that your move back to NJ is the right thing to do for you. I think you have a pretty good take on Charlotte. After living in Paterson, in the same house all my life, I wouldn't even have considered Charlotte. Living in NJ has soured me for living in any large city. My take on Charlotte is thus: If you took Bergen County in it's entirety, pumped up Hackensack on steroids and dropped all of Newark's large buildings there, and called it a city, you'd have a fairly good approximation of Charlotte. Oh, and raised the avg temperature 20 degrees while you're at it!

I just closed on my old house in NJ, and will pay off the mortgage on my NC house. For a retiree, living on a quarter acre, in a house three times the size with taxes that are 35% of what that old Cape Cod were, the grass is definitely greener. If I hadn't lived in Paterson, but had lived a higher-level "Beaver Cleaver" existance in Ridgewood or Colts Neck or some other upper-middle class town, my feelings would probably be much different. I watched my neighborhood slowly change over the years from WASPY/ Italian to almost entirely Hispanic. I'm getting too old to change my ways. Most of the people I knew, long ago moved to the suburbs or out of state entirely or are dead! It was time to go!

As Brian pointed out, if you really want to go "home" again, it is possible. For most of the older people who leave NJ, it is most likely a one-way trip. But we seem to return on a "regular basis" after "death"! LOL I still read those obits in the Bergen Record every day.

As Bob Kovacs so aptly said, going home can be a very expensive proposition after you've lived somewhere else, and have acclimated to that bigger house and larger property. I looked at my empty, freshly-painted house when I was up there 2 weeks ago, and wondered how in the hell had I lived in that dinky little one bathroom house for so long? I'm spoiled in NC now!

The grass can be greener if you move to the right place for the right reasons. If those reasons aren't so good, you'll be just like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" constantly tapping your shoes together saying "There's no place like home, in your "varying by region" Jersey accent until you move back!

Would I move back? Maybe, if I won the lottery, but that is about as likely as my becoming Governor of NC!

[Steve_TN]

Originally Posted by familymom

For those who left, do you still want to come back to New Jersey? Why did you leave and where did you end up?

No! I would never want to come back to Jersey to live. I would love to visit Pt. Pleasant though. The Jersey Shore is unbeatable. I left because my life really sucked. Let's just leave it at that. I moved to Nashville, TN. Talk about culture shock. I love it here and never want to leave.

[BrianH1970]

Originally Posted by findinghope

how long have you been in nc?
my life is not perfect here and it was not perfect in NJ. i didnt have a mcmansion there and i sure dont have one here. we still drive the same old cars, have the same furniture, etc.
maybe in time i will want to move back to NJ. but as you said "right now" i am not feeling the moving bug yet.

I've been here since November of '04.

You sound like us. We never had fancy this or fancy that. We still have the same coffee table that we bought in 1994, we drive our cars into the ground before getting another one, we're not fashionable people. We've never associated ourselves with people who felt like we should be keeping pace with everyone else, nor do we have any desire to do so.

My life wasn't perfect in New Jersey either, but I was far more fulfilled living up there than I ever could feel living down here. It seems like many of the people who moved down here due to the cost of living are the same ones moving back. The ones who relocate for the sake of real change are probably more likely to stay because it was more embraced from the very beginning. For us it was a bit of both but clearly it didn't work.

[findinghope]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

I've been here since November of '04.

You sound like us. We never had fancy this or fancy that. We still have the same coffee table that we bought in 1994, we drive our cars into the ground before getting another one, we're not fashionable people. We've never associated ourselves with people who felt like we should be keeping pace with everyone else, nor do we have any desire to do so.

My life wasn't perfect in New Jersey either, but I was far more fulfilled living up there than I ever could feel living down here. It seems like many of the people who moved down here due to the cost of living are the same ones moving back. The ones who relocate for the sake of real change are probably more likely to stay because it was more embraced from the very beginning. For us it was a bit of both but clearly it didn't work.

i wish you lots of luck getting back "home". i hope it works out as quickly as possible for you.

[NCMommy2-4]

We left over 2 yrs ago and headed to NC. We didn't plan this, it was sort of forced after a job loss and we couldn't find a way to make ends meet from that point on. (even if my DH got a new job, it would never start at the salary we needed to survive.. not live.. survive)

So we moved to NC and love it here. We are in the Triangle area. I have learned a LOT coming here and I have really changed my ways. I won't get in to the details about how we have changed but it was all for the best.

Do we miss NJ? I miss my house with lots of acres of land and my town of Bloomsbury out in Hunterdon County. I don't miss the area I grew up in which was Colonia (woodbridge twp area). I do not miss the NJ Shore which I spent tons of summers in my parent's shore house. (they are still there)

I won't let anyone bash NJ. Its got a lot of good going on there. My personal feelings on it are just that.. mine. I'll never say we made a mistake, I'll never regret our move and we will not move back either.

I will always be a NJ girl in my heart.

Linda

[lookingout]

What works for one person doesn't always work for the next. That's what makes the world go around. You just have to go with what's best for you-if at all possible. Everybody's wants are different and everyone deserves to be happy where they choose to live. No one place is "better" than another.

[sam23]

I really felt compelled to respond to the posts regarding "Missing pizza and bagels in New Jersey" because it's such a minute misfortune in the grand scheme of things. My top priorities when planning a big move are: low crime rate, decent job opportunities, and good schools. Screw the bagels and pizza, I could care less.

First of all, I hear all the time about pizza and bagels being bad for you, so I'm sure the body will thank you if you decide to give them up. Second, you can always go to a local bakery and buy dough to make your own pizza or have someone from back east Fed Ex you some NJ pizza dough. I've made my own pizza and the hardest part is kneeding the dough initially, but you tend to get the hang of it real quick. Plus, you can control the amount of cheese that goes on the pie and control the cooking time if you prefer it well-done or under-done.

[findinghope]

Originally Posted by sam23

I really felt compelled to respond to the posts regarding "Missing pizza and bagels in New Jersey" because it's such a minute misfortune in the grand scheme of things. My top priorities when planning a big move are: low crime rate, decent job opportunities, and good schools. Screw the bagels and pizza, I could care less.

First of all, I hear all the time about pizza and bagels being bad for you, so I'm sure the body will thank you if you decide to give them up. Second, you can always go to a local bakery and buy dough to make your own pizza or have someone from back east Fed Ex you some NJ pizza dough. I've made my own pizza and the hardest part is kneeding the dough initially, but you tend to get the hang of it real quick. Plus, you can control the amount of cheese that goes on the pie and control the cooking time if you prefer it well-done or under-done.

or you can do what i did and find the place that makes it right here in nc--lol
we are very lucky and found a great one

[Judge Smails]

My brother lives in North Carolina. When he told me that his house is 3 times as large and he paid half of what I did, I wanted to move. The cost of living is insanely less than in Jersey. However, he did mention that companies pay their employees signifcantly less than they do here and that gas costs more than here. So, in a way, it balances out.