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I'm 24, I lived in NJ for a short time when I attended NJCU. I stayed for only 1 semester... it was a bad time and I had to return home for family drama that had nothing to do with me. I ended up stuck in Ohio for the last past 3 years. I worked two jobs to save my mom from losing her house, she had a gambling problem, and was laid off, and took all of her savings to gamble and party. My siblings are 5-10 years older than me, they always told me I will never amount to chit, they said that nobody will ever like me, and when I moved away for college they were sick, and had so much negative **** to say about me. They would tell people how I was slow and mentally challenged and a whole bunch of other lies.
I got guilt tripped back home and had to get my mom’s house payments back current, and after 7 months of working at Subway in the day, and Hotel at night. I got my mom’s home payments back current, and my family still doesn’t appreciate **** and don’t see that I did anything. I fell into depression, got discourage about life, and got stuck. My mom got her job back, and is making more money than before, but she still feel like I should give her money, she still have a gambling problem.
I just picked up two full time jobs at a warehouse and hotel… and I will be only giving my mom $100 a month and the rest will be in my bank account building for the next 4 weeks, because she said if I don’t pay at least half of the mortgage which is $330 I have to go. By December 20th, I will have $2,850 saved up. I have a job offer in Jersey City cleaning a building, FULL TIME, and the contracts starts January 3rd 2017. It pays $1940 a month after taxes, plus I will work for a graphic design company on the weekends making up to $250 a day, printing fabrics, some photo shop and etc. By the Summer I want to attend Rutgers. & continue my journey from there. I will be taking up Marketing/Advertising. I choose NJ because it’s close to NYC and I am into the fashion industry.
Well it sounds like you're a hard worker and have a plan. That's definitely a start to success.
Don't have much advice other than initially, I'd want to live as close to work as possible. Make the job your priority until you get established. Then you can broaden your focus to include leisure and comfort.
cut ties with your family. No attachments. get a business admin or IT minor and a psy minor. Save your money. Stay away from drugs (including weed) and alcohol. don't gamble. start a roth IRA. save for real estate and buy near transit. drink lots of water, run and take a yoga class.
Cut ties completely and don't look back. Unfortunate, because family is so important. But you have no choice.
Agree with sbaker on this one. You are still enabling your mother. You will actually be helping her by letting her fall and forcing her to figure out how to get herself back up.
You need to take care of yourself now. You will not be the first person who has to do this. Sad, like sbaker said, but save yourself.
Look, there's something called systems theory in psychology. Simple version, a dysfunctional family runs on a system where everybody plays their role. You change, everyone else's role has to shift, too, because the system has to change now that one member has changed. They will resist. They will get angry.
also besides a career for yourself to be independent if needed, date and marry someone who is stable with a career and steady employment, someone who has the potential to support you and any potential children you may have together.
may not be politically correct but this is how many women climb the social ladder.
I'm 24, I lived in NJ for a short time when I attended NJCU. I stayed for only 1 semester... it was a bad time and I had to return home for family drama that had nothing to do with me. I ended up stuck in Ohio for the last past 3 years. I worked two jobs to save my mom from losing her house, she had a gambling problem, and was laid off, and took all of her savings to gamble and party. My siblings are 5-10 years older than me, they always told me I will never amount to chit, they said that nobody will ever like me, and when I moved away for college they were sick, and had so much negative **** to say about me. They would tell people how I was slow and mentally challenged and a whole bunch of other lies.
I got guilt tripped back home and had to get my mom’s house payments back current, and after 7 months of working at Subway in the day, and Hotel at night. I got my mom’s home payments back current, and my family still doesn’t appreciate **** and don’t see that I did anything. I fell into depression, got discourage about life, and got stuck. My mom got her job back, and is making more money than before, but she still feel like I should give her money, she still have a gambling problem.
I just picked up two full time jobs at a warehouse and hotel… and I will be only giving my mom $100 a month and the rest will be in my bank account building for the next 4 weeks, because she said if I don’t pay at least half of the mortgage which is $330 I have to go. By December 20th, I will have $2,850 saved up. I have a job offer in Jersey City cleaning a building, FULL TIME, and the contracts starts January 3rd 2017. It pays $1940 a month after taxes, plus I will work for a graphic design company on the weekends making up to $250 a day, printing fabrics, some photo shop and etc. By the Summer I want to attend Rutgers. & continue my journey from there. I will be taking up Marketing/Advertising. I choose NJ because it’s close to NYC and I am into the fashion industry.
Any tips? Please lend advice?
Glad you are moving forward. Do you know where you are going to be living?
Your siblings should chip in to help mom. Dont let any unwritten family rules put you in the bottem, trying to dig out.
Put your siblings in their place now! Put mom in her place as well. Whatever she has done for you as a child is the responsibility of a parent. You are not obligated to do a thing. Your only position or obligation is to be a an offspring.
I know times can be hard financially, but consider getting a job in a big hotel in manhattan, they pay more and are easy to reach from jersey.
If family wants to put you down, dont let them! Respect is due when given. You seem to be in your early twenties, an adult that needs to be treated as such.
Remember , its your life, your decision, your choice. Ask them if they want you in their life, and want to continue to know you, they need to respect you, and stay out of your finances and how you do things. You need to be happy.
Your siblings should chip in to help mom. Dont let any unwritten family rules put you in the bottem, trying to dig out.
Put your siblings in their place now! Put mom in her place as well. Whatever she has done for you as a child is the responsibility of a parent. You are not obligated to do a thing. Your only position or obligation is to be a an offspring.
I know times can be hard financially, but consider getting a job in a big hotel in manhattan, they pay more and are easy to reach from jersey.
If family wants to put you down, dont let them! Respect is due when given. You seem to be in your early twenties, an adult that needs to be treated as such.
Remember , its your life, your decision, your choice. Ask them if they want you in their life, and want to continue to know you, they need to respect you, and stay out of your finances and how you do things. You need to be happy.
You sound like a doer! Think sales. It is scary when you see ads that state "unlimited-potential" but for someone with grit it is true. I know a lot if folks in sales in NYC area making $300,00-$600, 000 a year is not unusual. One of my college buddies earns millions a year. It takes a ceratin type of person to pull it off. But if you pick a sales position that requires a certain level of people skills i.e. Financial sales (for high end net worth life, commercial business) or medical sales etc that may suit you. Find the sales job that requires professional designation, technical skills vs. being a car or timeshare salesman as not all "sales" jobs are equal. Also, persue additional educational opportunities once in your field. GetnContinuing Ed Credits and additional professional designation to show customers you are "all-in" with your committment to the path you choose.
Once in a firm, find a mentor willing to help you develop
Good luck!
P.S. This plan above is not as geo-centric as you may think. Giod technical sales opportunites abound across this great country!
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