Convincing a 12-year old to move to New Jersey (Newark: how much, buy)

[BobKovacs]

Originally Posted by NJ Chutzpah

I guess she is a pretty smart girl

isnt the AZ quality of life better than dirty jerz

maybe you should listen to her and stay

I will tell you dirty jerz can be tough on teens

I'm with you- maybe she's got the right idea......lol.

[emanon]

Originally Posted by NJ Chutzpah

I guess she is a pretty smart girl

isnt the AZ quality of life better than dirty jerz

maybe you should listen to her and stay

I will tell you dirty jerz can be tough on teens

Wow are you behind the times, where did you read that the quality of life is better in AZ? The air quality is so bad in AZ that doctors no longer suggest moving to AZ for better air.

AZ positives

120 degrees in summer , that's much better than 90 in NJ
and the AZ shore that's much nicer than Spring Lake
Rattlesnakes much more friendly than squirrels
Teens always prefer desert dunes to sand dunes down the shore
Last but not least we all know that teenagers are smarter than parents because we were.

[todd72173]

Forgot to compare...

thousands of people/cars in arizona vs the trillion people/cars in nj (teens will have harder time to drive in nj)
cheaper cost of living in az vs the most expensive cost of living in nj (teens do spend $)
jersey shores are polluted, disgusting cant see to bottom water - safer in your az pools

[Roselvr]

Forgot to mention, now is a good time to tell her she can decorate a new room.

Brown furry comforter, I then went to Ross or Marshalls and found furry blankets that I will make pillows out of.

We used the Espresso colored Manhattan Solid Grommet-top Panel along with the Jadestone tab top sheers. The sheers have button tabs, so it was easy to add a bead panel under it. We also bought her new furniture from Raymnour & Flanagan, still have to find a metal daybed. Next we pick paint & wall accessories.

I'm trying to make a big deal about her room, so that she forgets about being in a new place.

[NJ Chutzpah]

AZ has the grand canyon

Close to Cali coast, Mex Coast, LV, and some great wilderness

plus much less humidity, less traffic, slower pace, no blizzards, no earthquakes

People are nicer, taxes are lower

That is why everyone around here is moving somewhere out there

and plus, it is hard for teens to move

[JERSEY MAN]

Originally Posted by todd72173

Forgot to compare...

thousands of people/cars in arizona vs the trillion people/cars in nj (teens will have harder time to drive in nj)
cheaper cost of living in az vs the most expensive cost of living in nj (teens do spend $)
jersey shores are polluted, disgusting cant see to bottom water - safer in your az pools

Todd, always the optimist. Where I swim, Bay Head, I could see my feet. NJ has the best water testing procedures on the east coast. I take it that you are not a fan of NJ.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by JERSEY MAN

I take it that you are not a fan of NJ.

How many people actually are fans?
Seems people are so pissed about high taxes & prices of housing that they forget to look around our state and enjoy the beauty of it.

We were driving on 42 the other day. I saw a bunch of Cosmo's (annual wild flowers) in the median. I remember when the NJ Garden Club 1st started planting Cosmo's, way back when. I had them at the gas station, gave one member seeds. She told me they were going to start spreading seeds on the highways, nice to see they are still doing it 15-20 years later.

I love NJ. I've been to Arizona, can't pay me to live there. It's a beautiful state to visit but I'll take NJ any day.

[stevemorse]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

I doubt anything anyone says will put a smile on her face.
If she's like my girl, don't make a big deal of it, and when it happens, it will happen. She'll eventually make friends. Hard to leave everything you know

your correct, she could care less at that age about nyc!!! At that age the only thing that matters is your friends, she needs to make new ones in NJ and only time will help. She feels like her whole world will be turned inside out, never make a friend , become very angry and manipulative, play on your role as a mother. There no answer right now to your problem. The only thing I can think of at that age is when you move promise her a pet if you dont have one, a kitten, dog , cat something she can love and feel like a best friend in NJ!!!! That will help! Its gonna be rough nothing and I mean nothing you can say or do will help. Im telling you in NJ when your settled if there is no house pets, get the kid a cute little animal, will help a lot of lonely , scared feelings! Time is your best friend in this situation!!

[loveaz]

Sorry - i didn't intend to make this a NJ / AZ war. We moved here from the Northwest 4 years ago and wasn't easy on her then either. 4 years later, she likes AZ more than she did - so all the responses about letting her "deal" with it are spot on. Since she is very sensitive, we are trying to do our best to make her comfortable with what is essentially our decision and promising her things which are reasonable - we promised her a backyard pool when we moved to AZ :-). More than the change in location, her concern would be lack of friends and the stress of starting middle schools with no friends (she just graduated from elementary school in AZ).

[Alex07860]

Originally Posted by loveaz

Our 7th grade daughter is throwing tantrums since we decided to move to New Jersey from AZ. Any tips/suggestions on how to get her excited about this change?

Thanks all

Altough it might be tough on any kid to move to new surroundings, by no means it's that an excuse for such child to be throwing tantrums. If there's anything that we should know as adults is that life is not always fair and we have to roll w/ the punches as they come. This is an opportunity for her to expand her horizons and interact w/ new people and a new way of thinking, Sure at first it will be rough and she will resist, but I will tell you what I did w/ my son when we moved here, first order of business when he started his new school was that he had to bring home at least 5 names & phone #'s from new friends by the end of the second week of school, otherwise some priviliges would be taken away and there was the possibility of him been grounded. Of course he thought this was unfair, but today (3 years later) he's glad that we did that to him, he was more afraid of been grounded than making new friends. We CANNOT let our children think they have the answers and that they know what's best for them, that's why we're parents. Stop over protecting them and instead challenge them to overcome any fears, they will become better adults in the long run.