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Wildwood Crest is great - I would probably look there, it has some areas that are more residential (particularly in Diamond Beach, a small community in the south end of the Crest). It's pretty low in crime and is very different from Wildwood and North Wildwood - more setback from the action and will probably be a little less hectic during the peak season. Generally, the further south you go in the Crest the more residential it becomes.
I would avoid Wildwood proper. It's crazy during peak season and is the part of the island that attracts the 'partygoing' crowds, and during the off season, it's a bit rough.
North Wildwood also has a lot of year round housing I believe and is also pretty low in crime although I'd still pick the Crest over it.
Job wise it's not going to be particularly easy as the area is a bit secluded from any major cities but you could prob find something...
Good luck - I've been vacationing in Wildwood for 30+ years and have considered moving down there myself....
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