Likes/Dislikes About NJ People (homes, weddings, plumbing)

[analyticalkeys]

Originally Posted by NewJersey?

Girls are easy there too. THERE, I said it!

Guess I know where I'm going for vacation..

[FiftyFiftyAboutCO]

I grew up in Jersey - left at age 20, 42 years ago. Lived in MI, PA, CO, TX, then CO again. Traveled all over the country including Alaska. Been around lots of people from all different regions. That's my perspective.

What I dislike the most about Jersey people is that they are "impossibility thinkers" and too narrow-minded geographically. When they retire, they move to Florida or somewhere else along the East Coast as if that's all there is to the United States.

When I was a kid, I always had big dreams of where I was going to live and work someday. All I heard from my relatives were things like "Oh, you'll feel different when the time comes" or "You'll be back" or "You need to stay home where you belong" or "You need to find a husband to take care of you." Well, most of those relatives are dead now. None of them ever lived or traveled anywhere. Their parents came over here from Italy and Poland, left Ellis Island, settled in north Jersey, and that was the end of the line for them. My cousin Larry told me at my going away party (night before I left for Michigan) that he expected me back in 6 months after I "got it out of my system." Well, he's still waiting 42 years later -- we stopped talking about 8 years ago. He won't take road trips cause he's afraid of getting lost.

I'm in contact with one cousin (of the 18 I have) - she lives in TX (since '81). No matter what I tell her I want to do, she acts like it's a tragedy. She still has that old Jersey attitude: don't take any risks, don't look for a new life style, just sit where you are forever until you die. She would have sat in Jersey forever were it not for the fact that two of her kids moved out West for work and she wanted to be closer to them. Now she's stuck in El Paso -- one of the worst places in the country, and that's not just my opinion. And her kids -- the ones she followed to TX -- now are retired in Tucson. Fine life she's carved out for herself, eh?

I've got a cousin in north Jersey -- she's about 8 years younger than I. She's a gorgeous woman, runs for fitness, but will not on her life travel to anywhere. She's lived in the house her dad built in 1957, since she was 3. Never married, never did anything that I consider interesting. That ole Jersey stuck-in-the-mud syndrome again!

I've been out here 42 years, yet not one of those Jersey types has ever visited me, but they always want me to come visit them. Guess what? I made my last visit to Jersey in 2000 -- I won't be back. Shoot, I even put instructions in my Will that I am not even to be buried back there.

There are things I enjoyed in NJ -- grew up in Morris County on 14 acres of gorgeous wooded property with a lake -- it was good for a kid, but when I graduated school, I knew there was nothing in that state for me -- at least nothing to make a life on. It was a prison. Sorry, folks, that's how I see it. I've been on these Jersey/NY forums reading your posts, and I still see this attitude I saw in my relatives 50 years ago. I think all that saltwater taffy has clogged your outlook on the world.

You guys have the highest population density per square mile in the continental U.S. That's one of the reasons people in the rest of the country make fun of people who stay in NJ. I don't want to be packed in like a bunch of sardines and neither do the rest of us west of the Delaware River. No, it doesn't drop off the earth west of there.

[njmike]

Originally Posted by FiftyFiftyAboutCO

I grew up in Jersey - left at age 20, 42 years ago. Lived in MI, PA, CO, TX, then CO again. Traveled all over the country including Alaska. Been around lots of people from all different regions. That's my perspective.

What I dislike the most about Jersey people is that they are "impossibility thinkers" and too narrow-minded geographically. When they retire, they move to Florida or somewhere else along the East Coast as if that's all there is to the United States.

When I was a kid, I always had big dreams of where I was going to live and work someday. All I heard from my relatives were things like "Oh, you'll feel different when the time comes" or "You'll be back" or "You need to stay home where you belong" or "You need to find a husband to take care of you." Well, most of those relatives are dead now. None of them ever lived or traveled anywhere. Their parents came over here from Italy and Poland, left Ellis Island, settled in north Jersey, and that was the end of the line for them. My cousin Larry told me at my going away party (night before I left for Michigan) that he expected me back in 6 months after I "got it out of my system." Well, he's still waiting 42 years later -- we stopped talking about 8 years ago. He won't take road trips cause he's afraid of getting lost.

I'm in contact with one cousin (of the 18 I have) - she lives in TX (since '81). No matter what I tell her I want to do, she acts like it's a tragedy. She still has that old Jersey attitude: don't take any risks, don't look for a new life style, just sit where you are forever until you die. She would have sat in Jersey forever were it not for the fact that two of her kids moved out West for work and she wanted to be closer to them. Now she's stuck in El Paso -- one of the worst places in the country, and that's not just my opinion. And her kids -- the ones she followed to TX -- now are retired in Tucson. Fine life she's carved out for herself, eh?

I've got a cousin in north Jersey -- she's about 8 years younger than I. She's a gorgeous woman, runs for fitness, but will not on her life travel to anywhere. She's lived in the house her dad built in 1957, since she was 3. Never married, never did anything that I consider interesting. That ole Jersey stuck-in-the-mud syndrome again!

I've been out here 42 years, yet not one of those Jersey types has ever visited me, but they always want me to come visit them. Guess what? I made my last visit to Jersey in 2000 -- I won't be back. Shoot, I even put instructions in my Will that I am not even to be buried back there.

There are things I enjoyed in NJ -- grew up in Morris County on 14 acres of gorgeous wooded property with a lake -- it was good for a kid, but when I graduated school, I knew there was nothing in that state for me -- at least nothing to make a life on. It was a prison. Sorry, folks, that's how I see it. I've been on these Jersey/NY forums reading your posts, and I still see this attitude I saw in my relatives 50 years ago. I think all that saltwater taffy has clogged your outlook on the world.

You guys have the highest population density per square mile in the continental U.S. That's one of the reasons people in the rest of the country make fun of people who stay in NJ. I don't want to be packed in like a bunch of sardines and neither do the rest of us west of the Delaware River. No, it doesn't drop off the earth west of there.

The people you describe could very easily be from Scranton. The majority of the locals spend their spare time sitting on their porches or in the house watching tv. They don't/won't read a newspaper, etc. Their idea of travel is to go to the next neighborhood or to the next town. The described people are found in every state, not just New Jersey.

[FiftyFiftyAboutCO]

Originally Posted by njmike

The people you describe could very easily be from Scranton. The majority of the locals spend their spare time sitting on their porches or in the house watching tv. They don't/won't read a newspaper, etc. Their idea of travel is to go to the next neighborhood or to the next town. The described people are found in every state, not just New Jersey.

You're totally correct. I guess it's not so much Jersey I don't like as the family I happened to be born into -- and I don't mean my parents. They were vastly more open minded than the rest of the clan. My ex's parents were from N. Irwin, PA -- his Dad never even owned a car. Geez.....

[njmike]

Originally Posted by FiftyFiftyAboutCO

You're totally correct. I guess it's not so much Jersey I don't like as the family I happened to be born into -- and I don't mean my parents. They were vastly more open minded than the rest of the clan. My ex's parents were from N. Irwin, PA -- his Dad never even owned a car. Geez.....

I have cousins in Scranton who haven't left the house they were born in. One is in his early 50's and the other is in her late 60's. I'm looked at as the black sheep of the family because I enjoy life. When my daughter moved to California and my son moved to NYC, my cousins felt I should stop my kids. My kids were in their 20's at the time.

[FiftyFiftyAboutCO]

Originally Posted by njmike

I have cousins in Scranton who haven't left the house they were born in. One is in his early 50's and the other is in her late 60's. I'm looked at as the black sheep of the family because I enjoy life. When my daughter moved to California and my son moved to NYC, my cousins felt I should stop my kids. My kids were in their 20's at the time.

Yeah, I'm the black sheep of my family also - and I love it that way.
Keep up the good liviing! And it sounds like you raised two good independent kids.

[njmike]

Originally Posted by FiftyFiftyAboutCO

Yeah, I'm the black sheep of my family also - and I love it that way.
Keep up the good liviing! And it sounds like you raised two good independent kids.

My daughter is an RN in Ca. and my son does research at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC. My cousin is a retired RN and felt my kids should have talked to her first before going into the Medical field, Yea, Right!!!!

[cyntmac]

Originally Posted by FiftyFiftyAboutCO

What I dislike the most about Jersey people is that they are "impossibility thinkers" and too narrow-minded geographically. When they retire, they move to Florida or somewhere else along the East Coast as if that's all there is to the United States.

When I was a kid, I always had big dreams of where I was going to live and work someday. All I heard from my relatives were things like "Oh, you'll feel different when the time comes" or "You'll be back" or "You need to stay home where you belong" or "You need to find a husband to take care of you." Well, most of those relatives are dead now. None of them ever lived or traveled anywhere. Their parents came over here from Italy and Poland, left Ellis Island, settled in north Jersey, and that was the end of the line for them.

Need a husband? LOL.
I can not relate at all but I assume it is hard to be a child of immigrants in many respects. They want their kids- especially the females to stay close by and they have a bubble mindset in many cases. That is not exclusive to NJ though. I don't relate to any of it. It made me laugh but it is not everyone's experience. Most of the people I grew up around would be like the extreme opposite of that. That's what made me laugh.

As far as the population density thing- yes I agree that is something exceptional but believe me women in other parts of the U.S. are much more traditional overall. You are still something of a prisoner of the mindset you grew up with. It can be very damaging but has nothing to do with NJ itself. Easterners do tend to stay on the east coast if they relocate in middle age or older but I have not found that to be true of younger people and again I do not come from an immigrant family. Neither did most of my NJ peers

I think it is unfair to bring up children in a bubble because you think you need them close by but that seems to be very common in people with old world ties. That is not an NJ problem or an American problem for that matter.

[FiftyFiftyAboutCO]

Originally Posted by njmike

My daughter is an RN in Ca. and my son does research at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC. My cousin is a retired RN and felt my kids should have talked to her first before going into the Medical field, Yea, Right!!!!

My cousin's wife was also a retired RN/Administrator of some kind. And of course she knew it all too.....alienated her daughter decades ago.

I was reading some of the earlier posts about food -- I miss the Wise potato chips, but when I got my hands on a bag while there in 2000, they didn't quite taste the way I remembered. One of the big "food" things I remember with great fondness is going to the Homestead Restaurant in Ocean Grove. We went there every night after the beach in Belmar. I understand it's long gone. Also, I AM part Italian (my Dad's side) and was raised on all the good Italian stuff. I swear the best pizza I ever had was in NJ, but then I'm a pizzaholic so don't complain much, if at all, about any I get nowadays. Another thing they don't know about out here is pasties -- they think they're things strippers wear :-) Also miss the local bakeries with the sesame seed rolls on Sunday morning and REAL jelly donuts -- which they call something else out here and I can't remember what.

[njmike]

There's nothing like NJ pizza!!! The bakeries I used to go to were the best.