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Old 09-19-2008, 12:08 PM
 
12 posts, read 51,150 times
Reputation: 13
That's exactly the feeling we are having! And its hard to tell which came first- the parents who demand the intense schools or the intense schools that attracted the parents. Clearly there are a lot of people who want that type of learning environment for their kids. But it is good to know that I'm not crazy for wanting something more (or less as the case may be). It just seems difficult in this area to find a balance of reasonable commute and good schools -that aren't pressure cookers.
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Old 09-19-2008, 02:49 PM
ira
 
Location: Bergen County
657 posts, read 2,613,084 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magggmom View Post
Yes, I think the snob factor and the "everyone is going to Harvard" is what is getting on our nerves. THe schools are good- but VERY academic- the fun stops when you go to Kindergarten and its serious business- I'm used to a balance of being a kid, having fun and learning- all at the same time (I used to be a teacher- so I know it can be done!). I live on the west side which is seems to have a higher concentration of the intense parents. I hear the sports programs here are the same as the schools- everyone is going to be a professional sports star and if you don't start young you're out of luck. I need to stay in the general area as my husband commutes into NYC.
This is interesting. With all the "intensity" in schools and the "Harvard" factor, VERY few Ridgewood grads end up going to Ivy League schools. Last year's graduating class had 20-smth% going to Bergen Community College.
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Old 09-19-2008, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Monroe, NC
2,537 posts, read 3,867,605 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ira View Post
This is interesting. With all the "intensity" in schools and the "Harvard" factor, VERY few Ridgewood grads end up going to Ivy League schools. Last year's graduating class had 20-smth% going to Bergen Community College.
I guess that percentage represented the "Black Sheep" of their families!
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Old 09-19-2008, 03:08 PM
 
270 posts, read 800,203 times
Reputation: 125
We lived in Ridgewood and just moved out of state last summer. Like you, I had a very difficult time adjusting to the local "everyone is going to Harvard" mentality. It took me about two years to get over it. Part of it is knowing places to avoid - Newcomer's Club (those women are vipers), certain preschools and playgrounds. You WILL meet normal people who like you probably moved there for a good education for their kids and are not of the forementioned mentality. Give it some time and see what happens. Although we did live on the east side, we loved our neighbors and met some great people.

Although that being said, I am extemely happy in our new town. After living in Ridgewood for 5 years, it's refreshing how down to earth people can be.

Ira - I think it's hysterical that 20% of Ridgewood kids go to BCC! ARE you sure you have your stats right? Many Ridgewood parents act like their kids are going to the Ivies, but then again thats part of the aura, most of this stuff is usually just for show, isn't it?

ETA - If we had to move back, we'd chose Ramsey.
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Old 09-19-2008, 03:59 PM
rtt
 
227 posts, read 493,595 times
Reputation: 82
Thing is, if you choose a more diverse town like Montclair or Maplewood (both good commutes to NYC) you may have to compromise on the schools.....and Tenafly Jewish? I thought it was heavily Asian.
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Old 09-19-2008, 04:18 PM
hsw
 
2,066 posts, read 4,259,190 times
Reputation: 1356
Places like Ridgewood can sometimes be among most difficult places to live/raise kids...lots of parents who themselves neither attended Harvard/Princeton/Wharton nor achieved net worth comparable to their higher-achieving <45yo peers in NYC region....lots of annoying posturing by less well-adjusted parents, despite their own relative underachievement in their own career....

Ironically, most of those who actually graduated summa c.l. from Harvard-caliber colleges and/or achieved much in their career at a young age tend to downplay their success....perhaps places in NJ like ShortHills and Summit have a "better adjusted" crowd....have always found the true high achievers in competitive industries like finance are among the best-balanced individuals....but many of the less successful in these industries tend to be rather bitter/petty individuals...

Agree...is often amusing to see how few impressive colleges are actually attended by many who graduate from allegedly intense, excellent high schools....even more amusing is when one examines the career trajectories of many Harvard alums, 5-10-15 yrs after graduating....some rather "diverse" outcomes/trajectories....
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Old 09-19-2008, 08:22 PM
 
2,541 posts, read 7,653,856 times
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actually I thought most ivies leaguers most come from wealthy families

I mean you can only give out so many scholarships

and plus this is the real world, not good will hunting, pretty sure you have your fair share of "daddy bought my way in" kids too

I highly doubt only the "most overachieving kids from trouble nabes get in because they had to be that good to make it" persons get into the ivies

Tenafly is not mostly asian, but there are lots of asians, it is mostly jewish and other whites
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Old 09-22-2008, 02:55 PM
 
33 posts, read 77,233 times
Reputation: 13
You guys are scaring the pants off me. I was just reading this because my husband will be working in East Hanover in the near future. I was concentrating my search in Morris County but thought I would read this to see what Bergen County is like. You have scared the daylights out of me. My kids are in 1st and 4th grade. I was excited to look in North NJ for top notch schools and a nice neighborhood. This makes it all seem like a disaster. Is this snobby attitude rampant in North Jersey in the towns where the best schools are??? Is this what my kids have to look forward to?
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Old 09-22-2008, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Stewartsville, NJ
7,577 posts, read 14,668,902 times
Reputation: 1178
Quote:
Originally Posted by escapeartist09 View Post
You guys are scaring the pants off me. I was just reading this because my husband will be working in East Hanover in the near future. I was concentrating my search in Morris County but thought I would read this to see what Bergen County is like. You have scared the daylights out of me. My kids are in 1st and 4th grade. I was excited to look in North NJ for top notch schools and a nice neighborhood. This makes it all seem like a disaster. Is this snobby attitude rampant in North Jersey in the towns where the best schools are??? Is this what my kids have to look forward to?
Yup!
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Old 09-22-2008, 05:23 PM
 
2,541 posts, read 7,653,856 times
Reputation: 881
Yes it definitely is

the Best schools are not necessarily the best schools, the media just says they are the best

there are plenty of middle of the road schools that good, but just do not have the money to buy grades
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