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I think we all have to relax a little with our kids today. Everyone wants them to be doing 5th grade work in 1st grade.
My eldest started school in a VERY academically focused school. But that was their only focus. Development of the "whole" child was not a consern. I noticed a lot of the kids, including my own, hated school by the end of first grade because they were being pushed too much. That's when I realized I wanted my kids in a school where they would learn, but also have a good arts program, lots of activities, and the opportunity to stay KIDS for the little time they have to do so.
its not the kids its the system. boys are treated as little girls with a pinus.
behavior and disciple should be treated different. coed is a bad idea. we have made
grave errors in education in the last 40 years.
Girls and boys can both be treated unfairly based on the teacher, the teacher more than anyone else. I also don't think you can take learning styles and break them down on gender alone. The problem is that MOST schools and many teachers have a one size fits all model, and that size may fit 2 kids out of 30 in their class... but so be it.
I don't really think going back to segregating schools by gender is the way to go.
its not the kids its the system. boys are treated as little girls with a pinus.
behavior and disciple should be treated different. coed is a bad idea. we have made
grave errors in education in the last 40 years.
from my experience going to an all girl's school - TERRIBLE! wouldn't do that to my kids. you can't live life segregated by gender so in my mind it doesn't prepare you for the real world.
Girls and boys can both be treated unfairly based on the teacher, the teacher more than anyone else. I also don't think you can take learning styles and break them down on gender alone. The problem is that MOST schools and many teachers have a one size fits all model, and that size may fit 2 kids out of 30 in their class... but so be it.
I don't really think going back to segregating schools by gender is the way to go.
I agree with you. I learn like a boy...very hands on, and HATE lots and lots of details.
If classes had been segregated as has been suggested, then I definately would have been left behind. Now..mind you, I didnt like school throughout my childhood, but if Id been stuck in a room full of just girls I think I'd have hated it.
I think you should try to put your child into a regular kindergarten. If he is not ready acedemically, definately give him a transition year. If he is ready (or ahead) academically, that is great: All children have challenges. His will be to learn impulse control & good classroom behavoir. This will be your job.
I haven't had this exact problem (I have 2 girls), but one of my daughters does have some anxiety with speaking in school (this is almost the opposite problem).
I find K to be an important year for them to learn to be students. It is important that parents work with, and back up the teacher. I don't believe boys can be given a pass on behavior- this will only hurt them in the end. Most, with the help of teacher and parents will calm down and focus somewhere between K and 1st grade.
When my son was younger I sent him to a home daycare and then a preschool just to play and be around other kids (PS, they kicked him out of daycare by the age of 4, they couldn't handle him!!). I also took him to Spanish classes. By the time he was 4, he hadn't learned to write his name like the other kids, nor did he care or have any interest whatsoever.
When he was evaluated for kindergarten (he wasn't quite 5 yet), the evaluator told me she was concerned that my son didn't know his colors and couldn't write his name. I laughed and said, (1) he does know his colors, in fact he knows them in Spanish and English, but your evaluation was about 20 minutes long, roughly...oh, I don't know, ...19 minutes too long in his opinion!!! Therefore, you had been dismissed, and (2) he can't write his name....so what? He's 4!!
My son is now 11...and as soon as he started kindergarten, they felt he had ADHD. I medicated him btwn ages 6-11, only on school days and not all the time (he missed some days and didn't take it on other days, such as half days). Now he is in 6th grade, and is off all meds. Stop worrying, send him to kindergarten, whatever will be will be, let the chips fall where they may.
My son:
-Had the best handwriting in the class when he learned to write in both print AND script
-Has been a straight A student always with the exception of 1 marking period last year (he dropped to a B one semester)
-plays the guitar, piano, and trumpet in the school band
-sang in the school choir and was in the school play
-always scores well above average in both Language Arts and Math on the NJ ASK test
-Always reads above grade level and spent the last 4 years in the gifted program
-Graduated from grammar school to middle school with multiple academic awards
-Greater than 90% of the tests he brings home are 100 (sometimes more with extra credit)
-Loves to play baseball, ride his bike, swim, and has been in scouting since first grade
-Is a well adjusted, happy kid!!!
If this is TROUBLE, I'll take it!!!
All of this from the kid they thought was SLOW because he didn't know his colors and couldn't write his name at the whopping age of 4!!!! . And when he was little he never sat still, moved around all the time, never paid attention, and touched everything!!
DON'T get stressed out. Every human being, every person is different. He may not conform to what might be viewed as "normal" developmental milestones, but you may find out that he will not only catch up quickly, he will surpass others, as my son did. I took the assessment of my son for what it was worth--the paper it was written on!!!
You mean you don't want to just give your kid a bag of pills and be done with it? Do a search on "the neurobiology of ADHD." They can confirm ADHD with a PET Scan (abnormal electric activity), but the insurance companies won't pay for that (they only cost 200 usd in Thailand; not the 2000 usd they charge here). They will pay for the "bag of pills," though.
I've also heard that the ADHD diagnosis red flags some perfectly normal behaviors in boys. Something tells me that the book mentioned goes into that. Best of luck to you.
Here is a suggestion that might work. Most public school kindergartens have a regular class designated for IEP kids, ones with already diagnosed learning differences. These kids are mainstreamed into a regular classroom with several extra teachers on hand. Our daughter is extremely high energy, very active, talkative etc. Even though she is just an really active kid and so far has no learning differences, she ended up by the luck of the draw in this integrated classroom. We do sometimes wonder about ADHD but at this age it is hard to tell the difference between a very active child and one with a difference. But she is in a good place. One added bonus was the special ed teachers on hand noticed a speech issue that may have gone unnoticed in a regular classroom.
With four teachers in the classroom, there is little chaos. She is doing very well. All the children seem to get a lot of attention. The special teachers are trained to work with all sorts of personalities. It worked out quite well for us. Perhaps you can inquire about this type of classroom at your school.
Teaching, is an Educator and Social Worker all rolled into one
My sister has taught for nearly twenty years in NJ, this energetic, Master degreed educator has had her spirit broken. She has been moved around,annually, in an under performing inner city, where parents rarely show up for parent teacher meetings, and defend their children's bad behavior. ( I know you shouldn't speak in second person, but, Teaching, is all my sister aspired to be, when we were children) I speak to her daily, and she states that, "when I do get a motivated child, a bad attitude always follows". I tell her, from my Psych 101, that those behaviors usually are a call for attention. My only reassurance to her is, "If, one child, one child, breaks through to the other side ( passes tests, seeks higher education ) then you have done your job!"
This story, sad but true, when, in reality, we all wish that All the children, and parents will value an education, and aspire for more.
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RE: The TROUBLE with boys!!!
Therefore, you had been dismissed, and (2) he can't write his name....so what? He's 4!! 
