NJ Single mom w/biracial daughter-Where to live? (Teaneck, Westwood: safe area, high school)

[clevedark]

If this is only a semi-hijack, I wonder how a real thread hijack would read.

Carry on.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by clevedark

If this is only a semi-hijack, I wonder how a real thread hijack would read.

Carry on.

The fact that the OP asked for information on where she and her mixed-race daughter, of African American ancestry, could thrive, invited an honest conversation on race. I understand that we can't really have that here, but there it is. I used semi-hijacked as a conciliatory word, but in reality that is as far as I will go. The thread needed some reality about the racial situation as it is in New Jersey in 2009. What was I supposed to write? That every part of NJ is friendly to black children? Well, it isn't.

[CaptainNJ]

Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad

Well, in the environment of this office, it really was par for the course. My wife had filed an EEOC complaint years earlier that went absolutely nowhere.............

probably because it was made up BS. imagine how many BS complaints the EEOC gets from blacks unhappy over some perceived or completely made up discrimination.

[LynnePatrice]

This is a thread hijack and it should be moved to "Great Debates" or someplace else.

[BrianG]

Originally Posted by clevedark

This is called highjacking a thread.

It would be much more useful if we could identify this bucolic, ethnically diverse town the OP is searching for.

Does it exist or not?

For my family it exist in Rahway
we have everything the op is looking for but
the schools are decent not excellent......

Carry on with the highjacking please

[captne76]

In summary I would say the majority of towns in NJ would have no problem with things like that. I lived in western Morris County for several decades and while most people where of Caucasian racial background we had several, oh THIS is where I do not know how to properly, acceptably call black people, I don't like "minority" because it's bogus and African-American is kind of tacky and not always legit since the person may have had nothing to do with Africa, anyway we had several black families here and there even on my own road, and never had any problems. Many suburban and rural towns now have several "people of diverse races" on their volunteer rescue squads and fire departments, etc. all over NJ. Everybody just accepts it without much second thought and usually welcome these people like anyone else.

[FoxyLox]

I haven't read all of the posts. So I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned towns like Union, Roselle, and Hillside. I happen to be African-American. I grew up comfortably in Hillside. My mom raised my sister and I in a one family house by herself. She is also a school administrator in Essex County. Personally, I think Hillside would be great considering the fact that it is so multicultural. I went to school with people from just about every continent. Of course there were a lot of biracial kids in the mix, too.

Montclair, West Orange, and South Orange are also great places.

[NJMar]

Actually I wouldn't mind going to NY. I have been thinking about that for years. I have to see how far the commute is. That is something to look in to.

[NJMar]

Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad

The fact that the OP asked for information on where she and her mixed-race daughter, of African American ancestry, could thrive, invited an honest conversation on race. I understand that we can't really have that here, but there it is. I used semi-hijacked as a conciliatory word, but in reality that is as far as I will go. The thread needed some reality about the racial situation as it is in New Jersey in 2009. What was I supposed to write? That every part of NJ is friendly to black children? Well, it isn't.

Thank you to everyone for giving me places to think about. I appreciate your contributions. I'm going to look into them...I mostly like the idea of renting in montclair, south orange, or west orange for a year or two and then buying. I was in south orange this weekend and really liked the vibe and the fact that you can walk to so many places. I haven't gotten too much info. on south jersey. I'm curious about moving by the ocean. I like the idea of less congestion and population density.

Sunil's Dad, I have to agree with you. I have to say that I am not surprised that my post sparked discussion. It is the topic of this discussion that has prompted me to move before my daughter starts middle school. I mostly grew up in morris county and while the landscape is beautiful and many people are very nice--to your face, there is ABSOLUTELY an undercurrent of racism and xenophobia. Difference and uniqueness, whether it be your appearance or your thinking, is not valued and often times it is looked down upon. In fact, it is considered a reason to stay away.

The thing is White Flight landed in Morris County and as long as the "minority" stays a minority (in numbers) it is okay with the majority. This way it feels like there is no racism in 2009 because there is barely anyone to be racist against and those who are there are trying to fit in so they are not a threat to anyone's way of life. I have too many stories to back up my statement, too many to write here. But, it is not just about race, it is about openmindedness. I want a place where people respect and appreciate diversity and don't look at you sideways if you didn't take the same path as they did. It appears to me that places with a multitude of nationalities usually have more openminded people. I just want my daughter to feel as safe and comfortable as she possibly can.

Just one example...my daughter is sweet, creative, good-natured, and absolutely beautiful and I'm not saying this because she's mine. Yet, the kids are now starting to "like" each other, and the boys don't like her. She tells me they all go for the blondies, which is fine. But its not fair to her, to live somewhere where she feels like the odd person out. For a beautiful girl to feel insecure because of other people's prejudices or for a less loaded word, preferences, infuriates me. How many times does she need to answer the question, "Aren't you spanish?" She has also told me that she sees teachers being meaner to the brown children in the school (there are a few). This she said when she was seven.

I don't want my daughter to be a needle in a haystack of judgemental, narrow-minded people. Unfortunately, they are the majority in these parts...from my experience. Things have not changed that much! They are just more apparent to those who are on the receiving end.

[mozzy]

I live in westwood, it's a great area to live. Taxes a are a tad bit high. Although has a great down town area with many shops and great dinnin options, it's a place to be kinda thing on the weekends as a well as a big hangout for the kids. It's a pretty safe area as the police are lets say overly active, as well it's pretty disverse and very acceptin, there is a section mostly populated by african americans on one road near the PV hostipal, although people of differnt races are around everywhere. Your daughter wouldn't be the only mixed race kid and deff wouldn't get hassled for it, the schools are generally pretty good and have gotten much better in recent years, the highschool is in the top 100 in the state. (my mother is on the Board of Ed). Hope that helps