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Old 06-11-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
3,814 posts, read 7,918,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
The sad part is I've read Sean desires to stay in Brazil. If that is true it is going to be a rough transition for him to come here after how many years in Brazil??
Certainly understandable, since Brazil is the home he's know for more than half his life. I'm sure it's a frightening prospect to be taken away from the support system he's had for so long -- and which got him through his mother's death.

No question it's going to take a lot of work to get him acclimated and emotionally comfortable in the U.S. But the alternative of thinking that his biologically father didn't want him enough to fight for him would have its own long-term emotional impact.
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Old 06-11-2009, 07:15 PM
 
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I read that he did tell the social worker that he wanted to stay in Brazil (definitely understandable given the situation) but later he said he was OK w/ what the judge decided.
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Old 06-11-2009, 09:37 PM
 
Location: Center of the universe
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Originally Posted by Honeycrisp View Post
I read that he did tell the social worker that he wanted to stay in Brazil (definitely understandable given the situation) but later he said he was OK w/ what the judge decided.
I'd want to stay in Brazil too!

But Sean still doesn't know the whole story, and he needs to be with his Dad.
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:01 AM
 
Location: NJ
7,105 posts, read 13,460,324 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
The sad part is I've read Sean desires to stay in Brazil. If that is true it is going to be a rough transition for him to come here after how many years in Brazil??

It's despicable what the mother did but at this point for Seans mental well being perhaps they could work out some sort of shared custody. Sean is as much a victim as is his Dad, but is a child, it will be pretty scary for him to leave what he has known all these years for a stange land and a dad through no fault of his own is a stranger
I was curious how old Sean is - David's site says on December 17, 1999. We had a son, Sean Goldman - so he will be 10.

At 9, I don't feel he is old enough to make that decision.
Once he comes home, I don't doubt his father is going to get him help.

When Sean gets old enough to understand what is going on, (teens) does anyone think he'd want to stay in Brazil after googling? His father has a lot of history available online; things Sean would read will do damage to him IMO. Reading his mom took off with him, his dad tried to see him and was denied that? Plus forging a birth certificate?

Once this is over & Sean is returned (and I think he will be) the only way I would allow the step father visitation is if he came to the states and it was supervised.

I was watching 20/20 or something a few weeks ago, think it was an old one where some guy took his 2 daughters. He was found when they turned 18. The girls may never have a relationship with their mother because of things they were told, even though she tried to find them.

No parent should be kept from their child like this.

Last edited by Roselvr; 06-12-2009 at 08:10 AM..
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:12 AM
 
Location: North Jersey
10,832 posts, read 15,183,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I was curious how old Sean is - David's site says on December 17, 1999. We had a son, Sean Goldman - so he will be 10.

At 9, I don't feel he is old enough to make that decision.
Once he comes home, I don't doubt his father is going to get him help.

When Sean gets old enough to understand what is going on, (teens) does anyone think he'd want to stay in Brazil after googling? His father has a lot of history available online; things Sean would read will do damage to him IMO. Reading his mom took off with him, his dad tried to see him and was denied that?

Once this is over & Sean is returned (and I think he will be) the only way I would allow the step father visitation is if he came to the states and it was supervised.

I was watching 20/20 or something a few weeks ago, think it was an old one where some guy took his 2 daughters. He was found when they turned 18. The girls may never have a relationship with their mother because of things they were told, even though she tried to find them.

No parent should be kept from their child like this.
Sad all the way around. Sean now has a little sister and maternal grand parents in Brazil, had they only done the right thing after his Mom died perhaps David would have been comfortable with Sean visiting those relatives in Brazil during school vacations etc

Mr Goldman certainly deserve getting his son back but at this date it's going to come with issues for Sean

I wonder if SEan even speaks English at this point or is his main language Portugese ( I think that is what they speak in Brazil)
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,933 posts, read 19,818,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
I was curious how old Sean is - David's site says on December 17, 1999. We had a son, Sean Goldman - so he will be 10.

At 9, I don't feel he is old enough to make that decision.
Once he comes home, I don't doubt his father is going to get him help.

When Sean gets old enough to understand what is going on, (teens) does anyone think he'd want to stay in Brazil after googling? His father has a lot of history available online; things Sean would read will do damage to him IMO. Reading his mom took off with him, his dad tried to see him and was denied that? Plus forging a birth certificate?

Once this is over & Sean is returned (and I think he will be) the only way I would allow the step father visitation is if he came to the states and it was supervised.

I was watching 20/20 or something a few weeks ago, think it was an old one where some guy took his 2 daughters. He was found when they turned 18. The girls may never have a relationship with their mother because of things they were told, even though she tried to find them.

No parent should be kept from their child like this.
There would be no contact with the stepfather if I were in David Goldman' shoes.......that guy should be glad he still walks.
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:30 AM
 
Location: North Jersey
10,832 posts, read 15,183,255 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunil's Dad View Post
There would be no contact with the stepfather if I were in David Goldman' shoes.......that guy should be glad he still walks.

Yeah i agree which means Sean won't get to see his sister unless something can be arranged with the grand parents
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:52 AM
 
Location: NJ
7,105 posts, read 13,460,324 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
Sad all the way around. Sean now has a little sister and maternal grand parents in Brazil, had they only done the right thing after his Mom died perhaps David would have been comfortable with Sean visiting those relatives in Brazil during school vacations etc

Mr Goldman certainly deserve getting his son back but at this date it's going to come with issues for Sean

I wonder if SEan even speaks English at this point or is his main language Portugese ( I think that is what they speak in Brazil)
I've also wondered if he speaks any English.
I think Sean is going to have issues no matter which way this goes.
I think that he's better off having issues living with his father because who knows how Sean will take reading this online if he's with the step father. Being a teen is hard, I can see him possibly resenting his step dad from keeping him from his father and getting mouthy with him.

I would allow supervised visits because of the sister and to show Sean that I know he has a relationship with this man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
Yeah i agree which means Sean won't get to see his sister unless something can be arranged with the grand parents
I would not trust them either unsupervised.
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Old 06-12-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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He's 9 and I think he still speaks and understands English but probably not great at this point, maybe he's taking it in school (he goes to a private school). He has some memories of NJ but I heard in an interview a lot has faded over the years. Personally, I wouldnt trust the grandparents as they probably influenced their daughter to leave her husband. It's a shame the ties to the one sibling he has may end up being cut off - maybe eventually she and the stepfather can visit them here (not too realistic though). A friend was divorced and when her ex-husband would pick up his kids for visitation, the younger stepbrother wanted to go too b/c the older stepkids came home happy and excited, the kid naturally wanted to go visit his stepbrother's father and have some fun too, LOL. THings sure have a way of getting complicated.
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Old 06-12-2009, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Paramus, NJ
471 posts, read 818,813 times
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I wonder if David can strike a deal? Like, bring Sean home for most of the year, but in the summer, Sean can go to Brazil to visit his other extended relatives? The Brazilian side is so stubborn! >.< I feel bad for Sean's mental state. The longer this case dwells, I bet the boy will forget New Jersey altogether... *sighs* Sad sad....
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