maplewood invaded by blowhards and rowdy kids (Toms River, West Orange: wedding, buying)

[hrjersey]

"invaded" seems a bit strong. I grew up in So. Orange/Maplewood. Granted I haven't been back in a while but overhearing the conversation of one couple isn't quite an invasion. I also didn't see the group of kids at the ice cream store but it was like that back when I was a kid. Don't be intimidated. The nice thing is that kids can actually get there by walking and don't have to take a car.

I'm not a fan of the way a lot of parents let their kids behave (in Maplewood or anywhere else for that matter). So I don't know if the town you move to will matter much. Parents seem either scared they will alienate their children by disciplining them or they are too lazy, or they think that discipline inhibits freedom. I'm the parent that will walk out of a restaurant in the middle of a meal if my child doesn't act properly (this has not been necessary since the first time I did this). I expect my child to say please, thank you and demonstrate respect to myself and others.

So my take on Maplewood. Nice town. Quaint, pretty. Nice diversity. Taxes are too high. School system is just ok and the further away from Newark and Irvington the better.

[elflord1973]

Originally Posted by NarniaLady

What is your verdict about Maplewood? Still keeping it in your house hunting list?

Made me a little ambivalent but the town is beautiful overall. Also, going for a run gives one some perspective. Beautiful well kept town. The drivers are very courteous (esp in the downtown area).

So it's not out yet (but I really hope the blowhards were out-of-towners)

I don't know why their school system gets a bad rep ... maybe some history I'm not familiar with ? Columbia high does pretty well in the nj school rankings -- (60-70th out of 300+ NJ towns if I recall correctly). Not that this is an issue for us -- my wife wants to send the kid(s) to Catholic school.

[gradstudent77]

Originally Posted by pbergen

sounds awful. but to be fair, pretentious, status-obsessed adults and spoiled, obnoxious kids are pretty commonplace in many of the region's nicer towns. unfortunately, that's the price of moving to a place where people think they're a big deal simply because of their income and educational levels.

i'm still unmarried and w/o dependents, so i have no desire at the moment to "move up" to an upscale, yuppified neighborhood, but stories such as yours have forced me to reconsider the type of town i'd want to live in once i'm married with kids. i've begun to think that it might not be a bad idea to raise my future kids in a relatively modest town that doesn't have a lot of hype but offers good enough schools from K-8th grade. beyond that, i can send them to a private secondary school if the local public high school isn't up to par. the hope is that my kids' formative years will have been spent with classmates who are more grounded than their entitled peers in the wealthier, big-name towns.

Good plan, I think I will do the same.

[goonsquad]

On parents with obnoxious kids, I just have to agree that I hate this. I make a point of not annoying other people or getting in their way. This means not playing overly loud music, not riding in the left lane, not littering, checking to see if someone's walking behind me before I stop dead in the sidewalk, not talking during a movie, and one day, making sure my kids don't run like wild animals and **** off other people. Most people's cares don't extend beyond the tip of their nose.

[goonsquad]

Originally Posted by elflord1973

Made me a little ambivalent but the town is beautiful overall. Also, going for a run gives one some perspective. Beautiful well kept town. The drivers are very courteous (esp in the downtown area).

So it's not out yet (but I really hope the blowhards were out-of-towners)

I don't know why their school system gets a bad rep ... maybe some history I'm not familiar with ? Columbia high does pretty well in the nj school rankings -- (60-70th out of 300+ NJ towns if I recall correctly). Not that this is an issue for us -- my wife wants to send the kid(s) to Catholic school.

#89 actually, which puts it in the 28th percentile, down from #69 in 2006.

[LeavingNJ]

I was in a restaurant with my wife the other day, and a few tables over, this guy in a party of about 8 starts talking on his cellphone. He's going on and on like some big shot about some real estate deal. The whole restaurant could hear this moron. It was pathetic and annoying.

But I live in the area, and I know I can't categorize the general populace based on the rudeness of one idiot.

[kaday]

I lived in Maplewood for three years and yes there were people like that there...then I lived in Massachusetts and again same people and then in Atlanta....same people. But in all of these places I have lived there have been many many more good, solid and remarkable people. Most of the people I knew (and still know and visit every year) from Maplewood are the kind I will always call friends.

[clevedark]

I lived in Maplewood for three years, too, and I agree that there were plenty of very permissive parents--but then again there were plenty of very strict parents. There's a pretty good mix, I think, of decent and obnoxious people. At least there's no horrible Stepford vibe like you get in Chatham or Summit.

One of the things that can be annoying about a town like Maplewood or Montclair is that some adults (usually people who came from the Midwest) think they are hipper than thou because they moved there from Brooklyn or Manhattan, or wherever, and have discovered the towns on their own like great explorers. They refuse to become suburban, don't want to get to know the area, prefer to get on a train and go to NYC. After a few years of being just a regular person out in the burbs most people simmer down a bit and get real.

[goonsquad]

Originally Posted by clevedark

I lived in Maplewood for three years, too, and I agree that there were plenty of very permissive parents--but then again there were plenty of very strict parents. There's a pretty good mix, I think, of decent and obnoxious people. At least there's no horrible Stepford vibe like you get in Chatham or Summit.

One of the things that can be annoying about a town like Maplewood or Montclair is that some adults (usually people who came from the Midwest) think they are hipper than thou because they moved there from Brooklyn or Manhattan, or wherever, and have discovered the towns on their own like great explorers. They refuse to become suburban, don't want to get to know the area, prefer to get on a train and go to NYC. After a few years of being just a regular person out in the burbs most people simmer down a bit and get real.

Just curious...why did you leave?

[Eric S]

Originally Posted by pbergen

sounds awful. but to be fair, pretentious, status-obsessed adults and spoiled, obnoxious kids are pretty commonplace in many of the region's nicer towns. unfortunately, that's the price of moving to a place where people think they're a big deal simply because of their income and educational levels.

i'm still unmarried and w/o dependents, so i have no desire at the moment to "move up" to an upscale, yuppified neighborhood, but stories such as yours have forced me to reconsider the type of town i'd want to live in once i'm married with kids. i've begun to think that it might not be a bad idea to raise my future kids in a relatively modest town that doesn't have a lot of hype but offers good enough schools from K-8th grade. beyond that, i can send them to a private secondary school if the local public high school isn't up to par. the hope is that my kids' formative years will have been spent with classmates who are more grounded than their entitled peers in the wealthier, big-name towns.

Wow. We are of the same mind. Once I had kids, though, I realized that I was fighting against the tide and just relocated to an area where it didn't require a million dollars to just have "good" schools and to be able to have decent hard-working neighbors who are not working hard to climb any social ladders and distance themselves from real people. NJ towns and attitudes (associated with those towns) can really be demoralizing.

-Eric