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Kate, true. I'm really not like that. I have a friend whose husband is a scientist that lost his job. There are events in our club that she can no longer afford, so I treat her.
She bought her home over $500,000 with a 100% mtg, but I think they paid for the land. When she bought in 2005, she could have gotten just as nice in the $400s, and imo a nicer area, I looked at homes there in 05 so know.
Diane G
Oh, I believe you really ARE "like that".
Your entire stint in the NJ forum is made up of the exact same type of schadenfreude against NJ and NJ'ans that you demonstrated against the owners of your former home.
You, like so many ex-NJ'ans, are a bitter, nasty person who can't be happy in your own right but must take pleasure in belittling others to build yourself up. That's why your posts are all about how much "better" you have it in TN than NJ.
Guess what??? People who move on to something happier and better in their lives feel no need to go back to whatever they didn't like in order to put it down, over and over. It's actually people like YOU who do that - people who move on, have regrets and inferiority complexes deep down, and rather than face their regrets they choose to try to convince themselves how "great" everything is by putting down the very things that threaten them with regrets and doubts.
It makes no sense that someone who moves to TN and is happy would come back to pepper the NJ board with boasting about TN and bashing of NJ. The person who would do that (YOU) does it because she notices how much worse life is there, realizes how much better NJ was, and to persuade herself otherwise she goes on this mission every so often to belittle NJ and NJ'ans and build up her new home in doing so.
If you're so happy in TN, stay on the TN board and keep your bashing posts out of here.
Your OP in this thread is just par for the course with you, and it exposes you as being the petty, bitter person you are in other areas of your life that you are in this forum towards NJ and NJ'ans.
You remind me of a nerdy kid I saw at my HS reunion... He had done well for himself and told me how happy he was because he now had a beautiful wife and kids and home. I told him that was great. He then explained to me how happy he was to be at the reunion because he wanted to "throw it in their face" when he met the "jocks" and others he perceived as having been mean to him in HS. He told me how one person he already met didn't "have it as good" as he did, and it was fun to rub it in. So after this little exchange, I realized that this guy wasn't happy at all, but bitter and angry. I had to wonder if anything he accomplished really made him happy or if it was all a collection of trophies for him to win this demented contest he had in his mind to avenge the bitternes and anger he has harbored for years, which he blames the "jocks" and other "mean" people from HS for. A person who is happy doesn't need to throw it in anyone's face or use his happiness as a weapon.
People like you are miserable and you only fool yourselves.
i think diane messed up when she threw in the fact that they arent american. other than that, i think people are being hypocrites. as if they never got satisfaction from someone who screwed them over getting screwed over themselves.
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
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I think people without empathy are like that, but not everyone. There are reasons why people say things like "I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go through what I did with X." Wishing misfortune to anyone or enjoying his or her misery is a sign of a narcissistic person who lacks empathy. It's also bad karma, unchristian, and the opposite of a mitzvah. And saying others do it too is not a reason, it's an excuse: when the topic at hand is one's own bad behavior, pointing to the behavior of others is a rhetorical red herring.
i think diane messed up when she threw in the fact that they arent american. other than that, i think people are being hypocrites. as if they never got satisfaction from someone who screwed them over getting screwed over themselves.
No, I think her mistake was being bitter towards people who (foreign or not) didn't "screw" her over, but simply did business with her without being completely tractable and doing it the way she wanted. She's mad that they asked for certain things to make the deal. Well, that's just business, it's not "cruel" as she described it. She is a self-centered, irrational person who sees business dealings as fights to be won or lost. If someone makes an offer or demand she doesn't like, she doesn't have to sell to the person.
Beyond that, I may get a little satisfaction from seeing someone screwed over after having me screwed over, but it's very little. As a rational person I let things go and I don't harbor the bitterness from being screwed over. I usually will react with a thought like "well, what comes around goes around," but I won't gloat about it to anyone, or even in my own mind. It certainly doesn't help me for that person to be miserable, and gloating over it actually unhealthy.
I think people without empathy are like that, but not everyone. There are reasons why people say things like "I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go through what I did with X." Wishing misfortune to anyone or enjoying his or her misery is a sign of a narcissistic person who lacks empathy. It's also bad karma, unchristian, and the opposite of a mitzvah. And saying others do it too is not a reason, it's an excuse: when the topic at hand is one's own bad behavior, pointing to the behavior of others is a rhetorical red herring.
No, I think her mistake was being bitter towards people who (foreign or not) didn't "screw" her over, but simply did business with her without being completely tractable and doing it the way she wanted.
she is saying that they went well above and beyond what is reasonable in a business transaction. im taking her word for it for the purpose of the this conversation.
i remember in the selling process of my place, my realtor misrepresented my monthly homeowners association costs. the buyer knocked the price down a couple of times. it was very annoying but ultimately i was pissed at my realtor not the buyer. i can see how someone would wrongly take the frustration out on the buyer. they are just trying to get the best deal possible for themselves as everyone should.
she is saying that they went well above and beyond what is reasonable in a business transaction. im taking her word for it for the purpose of the this conversation.
She is doing business. You will often get someone who wants to go "well above and beyond what is reasonable in a business transaction". If you CHOOSE to do business with that person, then you have no leg to stand on as far as complaining. She could have told the person she didn't want to give in to his demands and thanks for looking have a nice day, and then move on to a customer she finds more reasonable.
So, it doesn't matter how unreasonable she thinks they are if she went ahead and CHOSE of her own free will to do business with that person - that is not getting screwed over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ
i remember in the selling process of my place, my realtor misrepresented my monthly homeowners association costs. the buyer knocked the price down a couple of times. it was very annoying but ultimately i was pissed at my realtor not the buyer. i can see how someone would wrongly take the frustration out on the buyer. they are just trying to get the best deal possible for themselves as everyone should.
Yes, and none of that constitutes anyone getting "screwed over".
she is saying that they went well above and beyond what is reasonable in a business transaction. im taking her word for it for the purpose of the this conversation.
What SHE thinks is reasonable may not be the best standard to apply...especially on an internet forum double especially given her overall attitude in this thread.
As for reasonableness...nothing she posted about the buyers seemed unreasonable to me, but rather all quite normal when selling a house. Some of the parts she mentioned, they didn't speak enough English, had a family member giving them advice and borrowing more than she thought they should have....why is any of that a concern to her?
She is doing business. You will often get someone who wants to go "well above and beyond what is reasonable in a business transaction". If you CHOOSE to do business with that person, then you have no leg to stand on as far as complaining. She could have told the person she didn't want to give in to his demands and thanks for looking have a nice day, and then move on to a customer she finds more reasonable.
i understand what you are saying, but i can see how you get stuck in this situation dealing with someone and not wanting to pull out because another buyer may not come by for a long time. you have a place to move to or feel okay its just this one thing and then its another thing and you have already put so much into the deal that you dont want to back out now. its not like you are a regular business that can choose who not to do business with and move on to the next guy.
i dont think she could justify being happy about physical harm coming to the people but being happy they are having their own issues with their transaction isnt evil.
What SHE thinks is reasonable may not be the best standard to apply...especially on an internet forum double especially given her overall attitude in this thread.
As for reasonableness...nothing she posted about the buyers seemed unreasonable to me, but rather all quite normal when selling a house. Some of the parts she mentioned, they didn't speak enough English, had a family member giving them advice and borrowing more than she thought they should have....why is any of that a concern to her?
thats why i said for the purpose of this conversation ill take her word for it. she could have been the one that was evil for all i know.
i thought she said they had their relative do the inspection and make up things that were wrong that werent really wrong. maybe i read it wrong.
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