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FIRST, I need to explain that by "alternative lifestyle" I am not talking about just gays, but about the whole non-traditional thing. What I mean is best explained here: Alternative lifestyle - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
New Jersey is allot more conservative than it lets on, I have noticed in my 28 years of living here. Here, just about everyone seems to expect people to follow the same exact life script: be a kid, ride a bike, get older and play sports if you are a boy (non negotiable) go to college and party, get out of college and work somewhere for a few years then get married, have kids, the kids grow up while you grow out of shape, the kids leave the house and you move to Florida to die.
That's it. No gays, no Child Free people, no bohemianism, no "just slacking and enjoying life". In Jersey, it's the Norman Rockwell nightmere...only with a sprinkling of "Jersey Shore" and "My Cousin Vinnie" thrown in.
The prevailing attitude in Jersey is probably the same as the Bible Belt, only not as racist and not with the religious backing to it. Around here, it's just tradition backing things up and no one wants to challenge those traditions and if you do, get ready to be treated as an absolute weirdo and no one will be on your wave length.
I think the issue is also that all of our cities here STINK. They are all ghetto as can be and crime ridden and no one wants to live there. Hence, we are all one big suburb with bad-area only cities and no places for someone who is a little different from the three-kids-a-dog-a-husband-and-wife-and-a-SUV lifestyle to congregate with like minded people.
I am 28, straight male, childfree, never want kids and am into magick (purposely spelled with a "k") pet rodents, heavy metal, alternative and ambient music...I might as well be living in Alabama the way people look at me. I could not imagine how hard it must be for gay people in Jersey or childfree woman.
Note to all: if you are even slightly away from the usuall suburbanite Mod cutmarried and with a bunch of little mod cut running around the yard or plan on being as such soon, Jersey is not for you.
This is just one more reason I am leaving as soon as I get the funds together to do so.
EDIT: granted, you will be left alone more often than not for the most part, but that is just the thing, you will be ALONE Here in Jersey, 99% of the people are really blue-collar traditional Norman Rockwell types, and alternative type people are few and far between. You can live here without being harassed on a day to day basis, but get ready for an existince that is marked by being around people with whom you are not on the same wave length with to say the least.
Last edited by Viralmd; 02-25-2010 at 05:16 AM..
Reason: Inappropriate
I think, for the most part at least, that people from NJ really don't care what you're lifestyle is, and if we find you weird, we avoid you to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Everyone everywhere is naturally a racist. Its a natural human condition of processed thought and decision making. The politically correct game everyone plays is to see how well they can pretend they are not.
I think, for the most part at least, that people from NJ really don't care what you're lifestyle is, and if we find you weird, we avoid you to avoid unnecessary conflict.
It's less racism, more apathy
That is what I am saying in the end in after the big bold letters in red that say EDIT, if you are into something different from the norm you will be left alone...and I mean ALONE. You will be the only one and be surrounded by people living the same lifestyle as you are and be a complete outcast. At least in other states there are cities/areas where being alternative is common place but in Jersey, no such luck.
Everyone everywhere is naturally a racist. Its a natural human condition of processed thought and decision making. The politically correct game everyone plays is to see how well they can pretend they are not.
This is not about racism, but about lifestyle...hence the title "New Jersey is not very friendly to ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES." It has nothing at all to do with race.
For the most part, gays, child-free couples, etc., are far more accepted than you think- especially in today's society. And you threw in the "racism in the south" thing, Mod cut if we're so prejudiced, how do you explain Atlanta having one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) gay populations in the country?
I think you're projecting some of the treatment that you've recieved due to some admittedly unusual things like being into "magick with a 'k' " and pet rodents, and trying to extend that treatment to others you feel are in "different" groups. What you fail to realize is two things:
- The treatment you're receiving isn't an NJ-centric thing- you'll likely be looked at strangely in 99% of the country
- The other groups you mentioned don't get the treatment you do, because in general, they're far more commonplace nowadays, and aren't out trying to "make a statement" like I'd be willing to bet you are in your dress and attitude.
Last edited by Viralmd; 02-25-2010 at 05:15 AM..
Reason: Rude, personal attack
I'm a "child-free woman" and have not experienced any frowning upon due to that (maybe with the exception of a family member or two). Maybe you're just not in the right place. There are areas in every state that are more conservative, and areas where they are more liberal and forgiving of a bohemian type lifestyle. Heck, I was surprised to find there's a very large gay area in Houston when I spent 6 months there a couple years ago...no one bothered them and they were integrated in the community...however if a gay man chose to move 30 miles south to Baytown or one of the other refinery towns, I'm sure it would be a very different experience. There are plenty of bohemian towns in Jersey, but why would you expect a suburb would be one of them?
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Here in Jersey, 99% of the people are really blue-collar traditional Norman Rockwell types, and alternative type people are few and far between. You can live here without being harassed on a day to day basis, but get ready for an existince that is marked by being around people with whom you are not on the same wave length with to say the least.
This is not about racism, but about lifestyle...hence the title "New Jersey is not very friendly to ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES." It has nothing at all to do with race.
Who is this NJ of which we speak?
). Maybe you're just not in the right place. There are areas in every state that are more conservative, and areas where they are more liberal and forgiving of a bohemian type lifestyle. Heck, I was surprised to find there's a very large gay area in Houston when I spent 6 months there a couple years ago...no one bothered them and they were integrated in the community...however if a gay man chose to move 30 miles south to Baytown or one of the other refinery towns, I'm sure it would be a very different experience. There are plenty of bohemian towns in Jersey, but why would you expect a suburb would be one of them?
