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Old 12-05-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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Moved here from MN and WA. I don't understand why, when I invite a local for coffee, they show up an hour late without calling or don't show up at all. I end up throwing out freshing made, good coffee, and wondering why I bothered to bake that nice coffee cake. And, when visiting locals, they offer nothing even to drink. This type of behavior is completely alien to me. Enlighten me.
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I wish I could enlighten you, but can only sympathize with you - and I am a local. Over the years I've experienced the same thing here, and it drives me crazy. It doesn't happen all the time, but enough to make me wonder what is up with this place. I've lived other places and it was not the same way. Other than a general lack of respect and consideration for others that seems to pervade the culture here, I have no logical explanation.

**You can ALWAYS send fresh baked coffee cake and freshly brewed coffee my way .
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:50 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
25,168 posts, read 41,093,156 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Townandcountrygal View Post
Moved here from MN and WA. I don't understand why, when I invite a local for coffee, they show up an hour late without calling or don't show up at all.

Enlighten me.
You are inviting the wrong locals...

I have not encountered that in various states and countries for 40+ years.

If I get invited over to a persons house, and I accepted, I would be there. I don't know what else to say.



Rich
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Old 12-05-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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I don't know too many people who invite people over for coffee, so maybe they don't know the protocol. I certainly wouldn't invite anyone over especially for coffee, but if they showed up, and is what that time of day, I would offer coffee. I might say "stop by for coffee, anytime" or "I've just made coffee cake and a fresh pot of coffee, come for coffee now, if you're not busy" but I wouldn't make an appointment and expect them to put it on their calendar. Maybe things are a little more laid back and impromptu here.
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Old 12-05-2010, 09:43 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
502 posts, read 1,190,380 times
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Kind of tough to describe some of the local "customs". Not sure where you are located or the type of folks you are inviting.
In my case most often someone is likely to invite me to coffee at a local coffee shop. I NEVER commit to being there, the most folks get is an "I'll try". Not that I am rude but just because of my "situation"
I.E I work a full time job, I also run a wildlife damage control company, I'm an elected official as well as an officer in the local fire/rescue unit. I have a wife and family including a 9 month old daughter, a 16 year old daughter, and 3 boys between the ages of 4 and 7 that I call ours even if they really are not. I also have one on the way. I live and work in an area that has no or limited cell phone coverage so calling to cancel is next to impossible. Wait a minute I don't have time for coffee, not sure how I found the time for the "one on the way" LOL.
Best of luck, let us know if you ever get the locals figured out.
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Abu Al-Qurq
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It's not a cultural thing here. Your locals are just not that into meeting you on time. New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision, but they're usually never more than 10 minutes late, and it's not uncommon to find ones that are habitually early.

The only place I'm aware of in the US where running ridiculously late without calling is the norm is south Florida.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by marmom View Post
I wish I could enlighten you, but can only sympathize with you - and I am a local. Over the years I've experienced the same thing here, and it drives me crazy. It doesn't happen all the time, but enough to make me wonder what is up with this place. I've lived other places and it was not the same way. Other than a general lack of respect and consideration for others that seems to pervade the culture here, I have no logical explanation.

**You can ALWAYS send fresh baked coffee cake and freshly brewed coffee my way .
Interesting that you're experiencing the same thing. I'd invite you over for the coffee and cake but 3 hours is a long drive from ABQ.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtncat View Post
Kind of tough to describe some of the local "customs". Not sure where you are located or the type of folks you are inviting.
In my case most often someone is likely to invite me to coffee at a local coffee shop. I NEVER commit to being there, the most folks get is an "I'll try". Not that I am rude but just because of my "situation"
I.E I work a full time job, I also run a wildlife damage control company, I'm an elected official as well as an officer in the local fire/rescue unit. I have a wife and family including a 9 month old daughter, a 16 year old daughter, and 3 boys between the ages of 4 and 7 that I call ours even if they really are not. I also have one on the way. I live and work in an area that has no or limited cell phone coverage so calling to cancel is next to impossible. Wait a minute I don't have time for coffee, not sure how I found the time for the "one on the way" LOL.
Best of luck, let us know if you ever get the locals figured out.
I live in a rural area, tiny community. The women here are all housewives who have a flexible schedule. The only one who would be on time for anything is a CA transplant. You said you "never commit to being there"--that is an understandable and appropriate response given the situation you describe.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Zoidberg View Post
It's not a cultural thing here. Your locals are just not that into meeting you on time. New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision, but they're usually never more than 10 minutes late, and it's not uncommon to find ones that are habitually early.

The only place I'm aware of in the US where running ridiculously late without calling is the norm is south Florida.
You say New Mexicans aren't known for their German precision? That could explain why my well doesn't work, the house wasn't built right, the county roads here aren't maintained, and that many folks here don't take pride in their work....so why would they bother to show up anywhere on time? Being a transplant from up north I just don't understand all this....
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:41 AM
 
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Okay, I'm getting the message....I need to be more "impromptu and relaxed" here. Guess I'll pick a day when I'm housecleaning all day, call up someone and say "come over anytime today". If they show they get instant coffee. If they don't show at least I have a clean house.
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