Breaking My Heart

[Mike Horrell]

Originally Posted by catman

I'd like to have a crack at running the world to find out for sure!

Ooops, sorry... broke it....

[songinthewind7]

Run for Prez. next time Catman.

Our Prez now is too politically correct and people like that make me want to puke.

[catman]

I really wouldn't want to have to deal with either the Presidency or running the world. I'm sure I'd break either one!

[South Valley Gal]

Song, I sympathize with you entirely. I've spent big chunks of my life in places where I didn't really want to be; I had my reasons, but after a while it gets really old. I used to fantasize, when I was in these "wrong places," about my perfect living situation, which would have been in the middle of about 1,000 empty acres with nothing but birds and animals around me. As I got older, I came to appreciate the concept of community, but still needed a lot of solitude. I work at the University of New Mexico, and it's a very "out" job - lots of people, phones ringing, hi how are you stuff - and I feel like I need a lot of "in" time to balance that out.

I spent my first 13 years in New Mexico down in Albuquerque's deep DEEP South Valley - two blocks from the top of the Isleta Reservation - and had the world's best landlord, along with flocks of birds and farmland and horses... and most annoying neighbors on the planet. They drove me insane. Music blasting, kids screaming and running riot, DOGS BARKING EVERY DAMNED MINUTE OF THE DAY - and they were real crazies, too, shooting off guns and getting into fights, so I couldn't really complain much, for fear of becoming a target. I can't tell you how many times I considered moving away, but I loved my little house, and adored my landlord, who treated me like a daughter, and the (few and far between) times when my neighbors were quiet and I could really enjoy where I was living made it all worthwhile... mostly. The beauty was beyond compare - Sandhill Cranes strafing my rooftop every morning - I was 3 blocks from the Rio Grande - and clouds of Hummingbirds at the feeders all summer. If it hadn't been for Los Locos, I would have lived there forever.

But something happened that I hadn't counted on - I got older (surprise!). I developed asthma, and had my first, and hopefully only, asthma attack late one summer night, and nearly died. It took me a long time to realize I was in serious trouble, and I called 911 for myself for the first time in my life, and let me tell you, those were the longest 10 minutes of my life, waiting for the EMTs to arrive. I could hear them coming, and the 911 gal stayed on the line with me the whole time, but it was a near thing - it was only because I lived close to the local fire station that they got to me in time... and I began to revisit my "ideal living situation" fantasy. The unfortunate truth is, the older you get, the more you need access to the services of civilization - like a good hospital, and EMTs that get there in 10 minutes instead of 20. 10 minutes can be the difference between living and dying, and living "way out there" sounds good until your lungs start to shut down. Then town starts to look REALLY good.

So last Spring I reluctantly moved into Albuquerque proper, and have found that it's as appealing as my country home was, just in a different way. Hey, THEY DELIVER FOOD HERE! In the South Valley, I had to drive 15 minutes to get to anyone who would sell me anything, so I was delerious when I first moved, I don't think I cooked for my first month in my new place - between take-out and delivery, I was one happy gal. I'm 5 minutes from work now, on city streets instead of the highway every day, and the whole mood of my life has changed. I can have people over without a major production, I can go places and do things after work that I couldn't before - it's really nice being a City Cat again.

It's all about community - either your direct community, your friends and family, or your larger one, in the sense of living in a city as opposed to out in the country. We all need each other, in different ways and for different reasons, and when we find the right combination, our lives become so much better - more fun, more free, and MUCH less stressful. Yes, I'm occasionally bothered by the sounds of sirens at night... but then I always think it's someone having an allergy attack, waiting for the EMTs to come rescue them - and I send blessings their way and go back to sleep.

You'll find your right place, Song - maybe Albuquerque, maybe Santa Fe (too expensive for my income, but a gorgeous place), Placitas, somewhere. And when you do, let's get together and do some beadwork!

SVG

[Vinegaroon]

Originally Posted by songinthewind7

If only the hippies still ran the world, we would have peace.

That and there would be a whole lot less bathing going on.

[songinthewind7]

Originally Posted by South Valley Gal

Song, I sympathize with you entirely. I've spent big chunks of my life in places where I didn't really want to be; I had my reasons, but after a while it gets really old. I used to fantasize, when I was in these "wrong places," about my perfect living situation, which would have been in the middle of about 1,000 empty acres with nothing but birds and animals around me. As I got older, I came to appreciate the concept of community, but still needed a lot of solitude. I work at the University of New Mexico, and it's a very "out" job - lots of people, phones ringing, hi how are you stuff - and I feel like I need a lot of "in" time to balance that out.

I spent my first 13 years in New Mexico down in Albuquerque's deep DEEP South Valley - two blocks from the top of the Isleta Reservation - and had the world's best landlord, along with flocks of birds and farmland and horses... and most annoying neighbors on the planet. They drove me insane. Music blasting, kids screaming and running riot, DOGS BARKING EVERY DAMNED MINUTE OF THE DAY - and they were real crazies, too, shooting off guns and getting into fights, so I couldn't really complain much, for fear of becoming a target. I can't tell you how many times I considered moving away, but I loved my little house, and adored my landlord, who treated me like a daughter, and the (few and far between) times when my neighbors were quiet and I could really enjoy where I was living made it all worthwhile... mostly. The beauty was beyond compare - Sandhill Cranes strafing my rooftop every morning - I was 3 blocks from the Rio Grande - and clouds of Hummingbirds at the feeders all summer. If it hadn't been for Los Locos, I would have lived there forever.

But something happened that I hadn't counted on - I got older (surprise!). I developed asthma, and had my first, and hopefully only, asthma attack late one summer night, and nearly died. It took me a long time to realize I was in serious trouble, and I called 911 for myself for the first time in my life, and let me tell you, those were the longest 10 minutes of my life, waiting for the EMTs to arrive. I could hear them coming, and the 911 gal stayed on the line with me the whole time, but it was a near thing - it was only because I lived close to the local fire station that they got to me in time... and I began to revisit my "ideal living situation" fantasy. The unfortunate truth is, the older you get, the more you need access to the services of civilization - like a good hospital, and EMTs that get there in 10 minutes instead of 20. 10 minutes can be the difference between living and dying, and living "way out there" sounds good until your lungs start to shut down. Then town starts to look REALLY good.

So last Spring I reluctantly moved into Albuquerque proper, and have found that it's as appealing as my country home was, just in a different way. Hey, THEY DELIVER FOOD HERE! In the South Valley, I had to drive 15 minutes to get to anyone who would sell me anything, so I was delerious when I first moved, I don't think I cooked for my first month in my new place - between take-out and delivery, I was one happy gal. I'm 5 minutes from work now, on city streets instead of the highway every day, and the whole mood of my life has changed. I can have people over without a major production, I can go places and do things after work that I couldn't before - it's really nice being a City Cat again.

It's all about community - either your direct community, your friends and family, or your larger one, in the sense of living in a city as opposed to out in the country. We all need each other, in different ways and for different reasons, and when we find the right combination, our lives become so much better - more fun, more free, and MUCH less stressful. Yes, I'm occasionally bothered by the sounds of sirens at night... but then I always think it's someone having an allergy attack, waiting for the EMTs to come rescue them - and I send blessings their way and go back to sleep.

You'll find your right place, Song - maybe Albuquerque, maybe Santa Fe (too expensive for my income, but a gorgeous place), Placitas, somewhere. And when you do, let's get together and do some beadwork!

SVG

You sound just like me and you understand. I've lived in cities most of my life and I fantasized about being in the middle of nowhere with animals, birds, trees, etc. and I love the nature part - I always will but I need more than that. I need places to go and things to do and I can see that I'm not going to change in that way. I usually don't have a hard time with compromise or flexibility but I can see that I need to compromise something now.
I keep looking for some kind of sign on where to go. If we stay in NM, it will more than likely be in the Albq. area. Also thinking about Missouri even though I don't like the summers.
Our fire dept. is about 10 minutes away and I'm not sure how the EMT's work exactly but the ambulances are set up and ready to go so that is a good thing.
Most of the people here are nice and decent but there are a few that are not so nice but that's everywhere.
I'm glad you found your place and if or when we move to the Albq. area, we will have to get together and bead.

[songinthewind7]

Originally Posted by Vinegaroon

That and there would be a whole lot less bathing going on.

I would change that rule. There has to be more bathing going on.

[catman]

South Valley Gal: You addressed some of my concerns completely, and like Song I think you understand. I'd love to live in a place like Timberon in some respects, but medical care isn't right around the corner and I'm 63. It may be too late for me to live in a quite isolated place. I am thinking of maybe Socorro...it's within an hour or so of the big city, yet it's far enough away too. I am going to try to make it out there next year and check it out. It's also close to the river, with lots of wildlife.

[South Valley Gal]

Hey there, Song and Catman, glad I'm not the only one here having to ponder the subtleties of getting older. Damn it's a bummer, isn't it?!? I'm 59, so I'm facing the same choices.

I've never actually been to Socorro, which is shameful - I always turn right and head out to Magdalena, another wonderful but isolated place I've fantasized about living. We become so dependent on our "services," it's hard when you have to choose between them and a reasonably secure life. People were always freaked to hear where I lived in the South Valley - every crook in the ABQ area seems to reside there - but I never had any problems along those lines, I always felt secure personally. But when you start having physical problems, the picture changes rapidly.

I really like Albuquerque - I spent my first 43 years on the East Coast (New Jersey/Boston), where even the suburbs look like cities, so for me, this is heaven. Enough of everything to feel like I'm living in the civilized world, but still small and personal. There are bad sections of town here, of course - what city doesn't have a "combat zone?" - but for the most part it's a great place to live.

When I was first considering moving here, someone said that Albuquerque is a city that doesn't ask a lot of you - she said it was a place where it's understood that a lot of people are poor, and so there are a lot of free events and places to get things on the cheap. I've found this to be true on every level. The thing that strikes me the most, though, is the generosity of people who don't have a lot to begin with, because they understand what it's like to have even less. When someone's house burns down and they cover it on the news, people start arriving the next day with lamps and chairs and baby clothes and whatever they think the people might need - it's extraordinary. I had hideously hard times when I first moved here (new in town + no job + hardly any money in the bank = recipe for disaster) and I can't begin to count the number of times people who barely knew me did something exceptionally kind to help me out. And they all said the same thing - "I've been there, I know what it's like, and I'm happy to help." Yikes. A very nice place to live indeed.

And as I've said elsewhere on this site, one of the most outstanding things about living here is the level of tolerance. Two young men who are very dear to my heart - a gay couple, one black, one white - moved to Iowa a couple of years ago and are now HOWLING to come back. They encountered serious, entrenched racism as an interracial couple - and they're living in a college town! - and have had people be really ugly to them when they go somewhere as a couple. I was surprised, actually - I figured the gay issue would be the problem, but apparently race is still the big issue in the heartland. Happily, all the years - centuries, to be precise - of people mixing and intermarrying and living side by side with one another here in New Mexico have buffed the edges off the kind of prejudice that's so common elsewhere, and it makes for a really laid back kind of place.

And the wild places aren't far from Albuquerque - ten minutes' drive on the highway takes you out of the city and back to the open land that I love so much. It's not my cozy nest in the Valley - and I do miss the birds - but it's a happy haven for this aging hippie.

Who bathes every day! Pinkie swear!

SVG