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Old 07-25-2010, 01:06 AM
 
Location: NYC
18 posts, read 135,263 times
Reputation: 29

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I am just feeling so lonely. I feel like all my "friends" are knocked up or booed up and have no time for me. My family is so dysfunctional plus I there is really know one in my age group to hang out with in my family so I canít do that. I have just been feeling really down & alone lately. My friend called & said she wanted to go out to eat but really wanted to make her boyfriend jealous because he thought she was out with another man. We ended up driving around not going anywhere. I need knew friends. I donít get out much because of lack of friends & funds.

I have decided to attempt to go out by myself at least once a month. Is that a good idea?

I know it will feel weird but I feel like I have no life and time is just passing me by. I have no children & should be living a good life but I feel so restricted. What types of places would you suggest I go? Right now I have free weekends so how should I spend them besides watching tv & sleeping. I take look walks around my ghetto by thatís getting boring now. Every block looks the same. Where can I go meet people? Not necessarily to date but just to socialize. I donít drug or drink (I may have a margarita once in awhile) but love to eat. Where I live in the Bronx the only food around is McDonalds. Should I just move back to ATL? I'm just rambling on & on cause I'm bored and lonely.
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Old 07-25-2010, 01:10 AM
 
343 posts, read 918,748 times
Reputation: 240
Quote:
Originally Posted by BXExplorer View Post
I am just feeling so lonely. I feel like all my "friends" are knocked up or booed up and have no time for me. My family is so dysfunctional plus I there is really know one in my age group to hang out with in my family so I canít do that. I have just been feeling really down & alone lately. My friend called & said she wanted to go out to eat but really wanted to make her boyfriend jealous because he thought she was out with another man. We ended up driving around not going anywhere. I need knew friends. I donít get out much because of lack of friends & funds.

I have decided to attempt to go out by myself at least once a month. Is that a good idea?

I know it will feel weird but I feel like I have no life and time is just passing me by. I have no children & should be living a good life but I feel so restricted. What types of places would you suggest I go? Right now I have free weekends so how should I spend them besides watching tv & sleeping. I take look walks around my ghetto by thatís getting boring now. Every block looks the same. Where can I go meet people? Not necessarily to date but just to socialize. I donít drug or drink (I may have a margarita once in awhile) but love to eat. Where I live in the Bronx the only food around is McDonalds. Should I just move back to ATL? I'm just rambling on & on cause I'm bored and lonely.
Explore other boros.. sounds like its your surroundings. Sounds cliche, but Become a tourist in your own city
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Old 07-25-2010, 02:09 AM
 
3 posts, read 12,447 times
Reputation: 11
I think we all feel like that at some point regardless of where we live. Its super hard to meet people! Espcially in a big city! I would recommend google-ing some things your interested. You say your not a big drinker/bar girl, so what about a book club, choir, dance class, potery class etc. You might have to get creative but with a little research you can find something. And this is where living in NYC is so awesome. Theres bound to be people that share your interests! Ever thought about taking a class at the New School or the Learning Annex? Take a cooking class and meet some people to try new resturants with!
Good luck!
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Old 07-25-2010, 04:50 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,296 posts, read 4,662,961 times
Reputation: 1084
Sounds like you have grown beyond your surroundings, including your friends. Take advantage of this and become curious about things in other parts of the city and explore! All you need is a MetroCard. I would also suggest that you go to college if you're not already enrolled. Go to a school in another part of the city. No matter what your age, you can get your degree and change your situation. College is also a wonderful place to meet people with similar goals and interests.
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Old 07-25-2010, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Planet Brooklyn
483 posts, read 731,546 times
Reputation: 415
New York City is a place where taking yourself out is possible. The increasingly hectic NYC lifestyle may cause folk to lose themselves within daily routine of work and home. With "lack of friends & funds", NYC can feel like a place where a single person's options are decreasing. Don't lose faith! You can safely get out with roundtrip MetroCard and information to affordable fun activities. Hopefully, you should be able to gain new friends and escape your lonely world. Allow me to suggest Village, WmsBurg, or city library.
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Old 07-25-2010, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Pkwy (da Bronx)
966 posts, read 2,102,277 times
Reputation: 552
The great thing about a city like NYC is that there are plenty of things to do--much of it free--and there is absolutely no stigma attached to going solo. In fact, I love it.

Here is what I enjoy:

1. Free movies, theatre, and other events in the park and in the libraries
2. Enjoying an ice cream and an iced coffee, or some other cheap snack, at a diner in the Village
3. Enjoying all the free entertainment in Washington Square Park (You can even sing with the musicians there. They love it.)
4. Open mics for poets and/or musicians (costing anywhere from $3 to $5)
5. Bringing my own lunch or dinner to Central Park, finding a spot to read, listen to music, people watch, etc.
6. Book browsing and reading at Barnes & Noble (no pressure to buy, but I usu. buy something I can afford)
7. Volunteering at an event to get in free and to get involved
8. The Sunday night Jazz Vespers at St. Peter's
9. Visiting a neighborhood I think I might want to live in one day (inc. asking safe people about the neighborhood, having an iced coffee at McDonalds, people watching, etc.)

New York City is amazing, a veritable playground, with friends or solo, no matter how much money you have or do not have. I started going out on more solo dates when I moved to NYC about fourteen years ago--following the advice of a book that pretty much changed my life, Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. I find solo dates inspiring; enlivening; and great for building up my self-image, courage, or sense of adventure--esp. at those times when I feel out of sync with my friends or (shudder) the NYC dating scene. I see these solo dates as opportunities to make my own choices. Even when I travel with someone else, I carve out time for my own explorations. When I can afford it, I find going to movies that none of my friends would go to a fantastic "guilty pleasure," e.g. Harry Potter movies, Sex and the City, etc. Just don't go hungry; the snacks at movie theatres are ridiculously expensive.

Find your own joys and pleasures. Bring a magazine, book, or journal/diary with you if you feel anxious about dining out alone. Read Time-Out Magazine or The Village Voice on a regular basis, and make a date with yourself on a regular basis. It may feel weird at first, and you may even bail (the equivalent of standing yourself up...not good) from time to time, but keep trying. You are worth it. In time you will meet people, but don't let that be your goal. People can sense neediness or desperation. Just have fun. As for safety, there are some great tips online for going solo. Google "traveling solo." Hope this helps.

Last edited by Nala8; 07-25-2010 at 08:42 AM..
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Old 07-25-2010, 08:28 AM
 
116 posts, read 305,424 times
Reputation: 94
If you are looking to meet people I highly recommend going to meet-ups on things you are intereested in. Like knitting? there are knitting groups all over the city? Eating? there are groups that explore restaurants. Book clubs, fitness groups etc. Find the stuff you like to do and the people will follow.

While it is still summer, go to bryant park and check out the million free things that go on there - movies, Pťtanque (its like bocci and if you show the slightest interest they'll teach you to play), ping pong etc..
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Old 07-25-2010, 01:40 PM
 
Location: queens
11 posts, read 32,546 times
Reputation: 13
If you are looking to meet people, I have the perfect place. There is a Lorenz Salsa Dance school in queens. I was a student there for a while. You meet all types of people. White, black, indian, spanish, ect..all type of professions & all ages. I really miss that dance school! Look it up trust me.
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Old 07-25-2010, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, New York
3,681 posts, read 6,051,629 times
Reputation: 3621
Oh, I love exploring the city alone. I have the option of talking to people, or just keeping to myself.

Choose your most comfortable walking shoes, enough cash for a meal/cab/unexpected expense, your Metrocard, a small book if you plan to sit in a partk, a bottle of water and maybe a protein bar, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or some healthy snack that will fit in a bag. Depending upon how long you will be gone, you should count on having 2 meals and plenty of liquids. Oh, and don't forget a camera, and you're ready to go.

Try:
Central Park. It's huge. It will take several weekends to explore.

Other parks. All boroughs have them.

Museums. NY is sick with them. Most just ask for a donation. I'm broke, so I give them 2 bucks. Several have set prices, so check the websites first to see if there is a high admission. They have restaurants, but they can be pricey (hence the protein bar in your bag). I usually will have a main meal at one of these, or a fast food place along the way, and keep my snack for the trip home. It save a bit of cash.

Zoos. cute animals!

Historical sites. Google these. They are all over the place. Statue of Liberty. Ellis Island (awesome place! One of my favorites). Govenor's Island is nice too. Bring a picnic lunch and enjoy the views! Check out walking tours. Take one of the tourist bus tours. Walk up Broadway. Or down. Walk around the village.

Architecture. Check out some of the beautiful buildings we have - especially in old neighborhoods. Walk around City Hall and have lunch in the park. The NYPL on 5th - the one with the lions - is beautiful! It's quite often in films, I've noticed. They have a tour too.

Basically, play tourist. Look on websites for ideas. Check out your own borough. Each one has it's own unique history. Discover it!

Last edited by NYChistorygal; 07-25-2010 at 06:48 PM..
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Old 07-25-2010, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Where the sun always shines
1,980 posts, read 2,583,064 times
Reputation: 3771
Whenever u move from state to state, its hard to make friends unless u meet them on the job/school, live in the Bldg/Block, or through a mutal friend IMO. The average person (especially native NYers) won't befriend somebody even if its at some kind of social gathering. They may chat with u, but not start inviting u over for coffee. People in general are a little nervous of finding a leetch that they cant get rid of and I can't blame them.
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