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Old 07-26-2010, 10:46 AM
 
1,060 posts, read 1,576,183 times
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I moved to this city 10 years ago and have to agree with the statement it is not for everyone-- I am not happy here but my wife loves it and is willing to put up with the crap so here I am stuck. If I were you and single and not accepting of what the city has to offer I would move on.
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Old 07-26-2010, 10:46 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
6,049 posts, read 6,095,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SobroGuy View Post
You have to agree though that a midwestern gal moving to Harlem on a modest budget will have a tough time of it to say the least. I recognize that....and I wish her the best..it isn't easy and harder than most people realize.

That being said, what she may or may not realize is that what she is currently experiencing, the stresses that she listed like the smells, attitudes, behaviors, rudeness, salaries, rich vs everyone else, etc are all the quintessential NYC experience! She is forgetting also the other quintessential NYC experience of great restaurants, cheap and reliable public transit 24/7, every type of person on the planet represented in a tiny area without much tension at all, the ability to brush shoulders with the global elite, access to a broad range of opportunities/jobs, and a diversity of neighborhoods in class/wealth/income/color, and top notch cultural venues, etc.

There is lots of bad, and lots of good....and put together they are the quintessential NYC experience. Maybe the bad is outweighing the good right now..however I suspect if she sticks it out the good will outweigh the bad and she will enjoy living in the city.
She'll go back to wherever, MI (maybe) and remember before long why she left in the first place. Then she'll start up with the "soo boored...want to move back to NYceeeee!!!" business like I've seen countless people come in here an say. Like it or not the place kind of sucks you into it's vortex of BS.

I agree about the Harlem thing though. Even if you're African American it could be a huge culture shock if you're from a tamer place. If you're not AA it could be culture shock overload. She probably should move to Greenpoint or Astoria or Will-i-amsburg where the residents are less likely to scare newbies.
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Old 07-26-2010, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,757 posts, read 25,571,932 times
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With all due respect, there are stable, safe, clean, middle-class neighborhoods in the city, but they're not in Manhattan. Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, and The Bronx have some good areas, but they're a bit of a commute Downtown. It's all a matter of perspective, since transitional Manhattan neighborhoods have good and bad in close proximity, and a reason for the lower rent.

Taxes are high, but that's par for the course of many of the cities in this country, and the property taxes make suburban burdens that much higher. You can also more easily research the tax situation from outside the city, but some of the other factors of a given neighborhood need to be seen/experienced.

With regard to the middle-class, the main problem to attracting/keeping middle-class families is the school system. There are great teachers in the system, and some excellent schools, but the system as a whole, and the bureaucracy of the special interest in that department, and the rest of the city government tends to stifle any proposed change. Add to that the same problems that perpetuate the housing shortage, again political and special interest, and you have the recipe for a situation of two classes in parts of the city. I say families because they tend to be more stable than singles in terms of remaining in a residence, and helping to keep a neighborhood's character on an even keel.

I feel for your situation, HarlemNewbie, since it's not easy, and perhaps my advice in your other thread should be disregarded and you might be happier moving on to another city. There are concessions at all income levels in NYC, since no amount of money can isolate one from traffic, pedestrian congestion, noise, higher pollution, and a host of other factors that are a given in the city. Some neighborhoods can minimize many of these aspects, but then there's the issue of the commute. Good luck!
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Old 07-26-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,296 posts, read 4,520,171 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer View Post
She'll go back to wherever, MI (maybe) and remember before long why she left in the first place. Then she'll start up with the "soo boored...want to move back to NYceeeee!!!" business like I've seen countless people come in here an say. Like it or not the place kind of sucks you into it's vortex of BS.

I agree about the Harlem thing though. Even if you're African American it could be a huge culture shock if you're from a tamer place. If you're not AA it could be culture shock overload. She probably should move to Greenpoint or Astoria or Will-i-amsburg where the residents are less likely to scare newbies.
She doesn't have to go back to MI, but maybe someplace more suitable to her pocketbook and residential requirements. As I said earlier, she can come back when she's in a better financial position to return and live in a better location.
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Old 07-26-2010, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Confines of the 101 Precinct
19,317 posts, read 32,792,203 times
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OP, it sounds like you would be happier in one of the major cities of the southeastern United States.
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Old 07-26-2010, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,141 posts, read 2,788,155 times
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I think the OP made some very good points and the fact that she doesn't like it here in the "big apple" doesn't make her weak-minded or a bad person at all. Who wants to live in a stressful environment? And quiet as its kept a lot native NYers feel the exact same way as HarlemNewbie does, but most of them can't up and leave due to family obligations and their jobs. I like what queensgrl suggested that moving to a smaller, cheaper city would probably be better for the OP. This the route I'm planning to take within the next year or so.
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Parkway,The Bronx
8,394 posts, read 19,664,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mayorofnyc View Post
...... I like what queensgrl suggested that moving to a smaller, cheaper city would probably be better for the OP. This the route I'm planning to take within the next year or so.
OMG,does that mean we are going to have to find a new mayor ?

Last edited by bluedog2; 07-26-2010 at 01:25 PM..
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:30 PM
 
Location: New York City via Austin via Chicago
940 posts, read 2,718,315 times
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I understand what you're saying but now it seems like the negativity set in and there probably isn't any turning back now until you find a permanent job and a good social circle. It takes time but if you can't get used to the trash, high taxes, class disparities, crowdiness, and smells then NYC may not be best for you.

Try Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Charlotte, DC, or even San Diego. ATL and Houston may have the best job prospects. Austin and San Diego probably have the most laid-back, good social scenes.

Good Luck.
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Old 07-26-2010, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,141 posts, read 2,788,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedog2 View Post
OMG,does that mean we are going to have to find a new mayor ?
Well...unless yall wanna make me a king like Bloomberg
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Old 07-26-2010, 02:24 PM
 
Location: On the Rails in Northern NJ
12,381 posts, read 22,660,444 times
Reputation: 4504
Sounds like the OP should move across the river. Where kinder and sweeter in the NJ Gold Coast which a mini NYC........NYC is not for everyone you have to have a tough skin...and $$$.
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