moved to Harlem and regret it? (Amsterdam: apartment, rental, how much)

[EastBoundandDownChick]

I can respond as someone who actually lived in Harlem. And yes, to answer your question. I do regret it. It was a mistake and poor planning on my part. Last year I finished school and decided that, even though I didn't have much money, I was going to live my dream of moving to NYC. I don't know what was going through my mind at that point. I think mainly that I was bored out of my mind in the small town I had spent my entire life in, this feeling like I had to escape it and find better opportunities elsewhere. So I packed up my sheepskin and three suitcases and hopped on an Amtrak. I found a rental there in West Harlem (one bedroom in a four bedroom apartment) for $150 per week through Delta Room Rentals, which included everything (cable, internet) and had no lease. I figured I had nothing to lose. If it didn't work out, I wasn't beholden to my lease and could jump up and leave. I listened to all of the same crap about Harlem's gentrification and figured it couldn't be that bad. Gotta start somewhere, right? I should have just trusted my instincts and gone back home then. But I had to 'experience' NYC and start my life there, and wasn't going to admit failure, especially right upon arrival. I had no idea how awful the living conditions would be, or the neighborhood. Keep in mind I grew up in a sheltered, rather affluent environment surrounded by people who were cookie-cutter clones of one another. The first week there I knew immediately I had to rearrange my entire appearance just so I would fit in. Pepper spray became another appendage of my body, on me 24/7. I wore sunglasses like armor, afraid of making eye contact with the wrong people. Afraid of my white skin. Afraid of being a target. I felt like prey. My personality changed. Usually friendly and outgoing, I turned inward and distrustful of everything and everyone around me. I moved in last April. By June, the heat was sweltering, unbearable. I could not afford a portable a/c unit (none in the building of course) so I suffered with two little miserable electric fans spewing air each way in my miserable little bedroom. One of my roommates overdosed on cocaine three days after moving in, bringing what I assume was her pimp with her even though visitors were not permitted by the landlord. Dominicans ruled the block, and played music blaringly loud all day and all night. So loud that it reverberated through the walls and rattled the floor. There was no escape from it. Their mutts would crap on the sidewalk and it would just sit there and fester with the trash. Fire hydrants would be left spouting off at all hours and spray with so much pressure there was a flood on the curb you could not simply jump over. It would soak my shoes and pants many days because there was no way of avoiding it. I knew I was changing because the old me would have complained and cared. The new me knew the cops weren't going to do anything, no one was going to fix these problems. I started to see the corruption and realized just how much dope and cash were trading hands. You can only watch so many 200K Bentleys and Mercedes roll down your destitute little block without losing your sense of self-protective denial. Burned down buildings, serious rat infestations, graffiti everywhere. Cockroaches measuring 4 inches in length creeping in no matter how many times I bleached the floor down and cleaned my filthy roommates' messes up. Guys catcalling and calling me degrading names everywhere I went. No good restaurants or nightlife. Feeling like a circus freak because I was dressed like a working professional going to interviews. I stuck out like a sore thumb and knew it but was trapped by the poverty. The best part of my day was hopping downtown on the 1 train. Once I got to 116th street and Broadway I felt a sigh of relief wash over me every time. The worst part was going back uptown and hitting the 125th stop. It was like, okay, now you are back to reality. I wasn't about to ask mommy and daddy for help like those dorky hipster kids. I stayed 6 months and finally snapped. I was developing a nasty drinking habit and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And the salaries I was offerred sucked considering the cost of living. I don't harbor bad feelings about NYC in general, I'm just telling you what my experience was. My advice is keep your eyes wide open and listen to the people on these threads that have earned their reputations. They are warning you, telling you often what I should have listened to. They aren't just saying the things they are out of thin air. Go through their posts, and you'll be able to sort out who is true New Yorker and who isn't pretty quickly. Listen to the natives. Don't be a fool. The only people who really hype up Harlem as hip usually have vested interests. There are much nicer areas you can live outside of Manhattan. I've started to feel like parts of that borough are a trap for people like me. And if you think about it quite clearly, that is exactly what they are. Like P.T. Barnum said, there is a sucker born every minute. And NYC is where they flock to, like ferrets to a shiny coin. Little do they know that there is a hand behind that shiny coin, there to snap their necks and feed them to their unborn children.

[elsewhere]

I'm really sorry for your bad experience! Where did you live? It's not like that everywhere and I know this week-by-week rental system - it's usualluy for apartments that noone will rent otherwise.

Sorry to use you as an illustration but point is it's the circumstances create a person - just to cut the racist comments on this forum (not this topic, but general). You send a nice girl from a lovely town into a ghetto and 6 months in she's inward and developing a drinking habit. You now know why people from there act the way they do? Because they haven't seen anything else. At least you know there is a white picket fence somewhere for you, they don't.

They say NYC either makes you or breaks you. Maybe if you came at a different time (not recession) it would be easier for better salary. And if you tried a different borough your living conditions wouldn't be so bad.

FYI I'd never wear sunglasses to protect myself from eye contact. The look you give is the biggest give away of your intentions. If I don't see that, you're a suspect to me, in a way of coarse.

[nycjowww]

Originally Posted by EastBoundandDownChick

I can respond as someone who actually lived in Harlem. And yes, to answer your question. I do regret it. It was a mistake and poor planning on my part. Last year I finished school and decided that, even though I didn't have much money, I was going to live my dream of moving to NYC. I don't know what was going through my mind at that point. I think mainly that I was bored out of my mind in the small town I had spent my entire life in, this feeling like I had to escape it and find better opportunities elsewhere. So I packed up my sheepskin and three suitcases and hopped on an Amtrak. I found a rental there in West Harlem (one bedroom in a four bedroom apartment) for $150 per week through Delta Room Rentals, which included everything (cable, internet) and had no lease. I figured I had nothing to lose. If it didn't work out, I wasn't beholden to my lease and could jump up and leave. I should have just trusted my instincts and gone back home then. But I had to 'experience' NYC and start my life there, and wasn't going to admit failure, especially right upon arrival. I had no idea how awful the living conditions would be, or the neighborhood. Keep in mind I grew up in a sheltered, rather affluent environment surrounded by people who were cookie-cutter clones of one another. The first week there I knew immediately I had to rearrange my entire appearance just so I would fit in. Pepper spray became another appendage of my body, on me 24/7. I wore sunglasses like armor, afraid of making eye contact with the wrong people. Afraid of my white skin. Afraid of being a target. I felt like prey. My personality changed. Usually friendly and outgoing, I turned inward and distrustful of everything and everyone around me. I moved in last April. By June, the heat was sweltering, unbearable. I could not afford a portable a/c unit (none in the building of course) so I suffered with two little miserable electric fans spewing air each way in my miserable little bedroom. One of my roommates overdosed on cocaine three days after moving in, bringing what I assume was her pimp with her even though visitors were not permitted by the landlord. Dominicans ruled the block, and played music blaringly loud all day and all night. So loud that it reverberated through the walls and rattled the floor. There was no escape from it. Their mutts would crap on the sidewalk and it would just sit there and fester with the trash. Burned down buildings, graffiti everywhere. Guys catcalling and calling me degrading names everywhere I went. No good restaurants or nightlife. I stayed 6 months and finally snapped. I was developing a nasty drinking habit and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And the salaries I was offerred sucked considering the cost of living. So my advice is keep your eyes wide open and listen to the people on these threads that have earned their reputations. They are warning you, telling you often what I should have listened to. Don't be a fool. The only people who really hype up Harlem as hip usually have vested interests. There are much nicer areas you can live outside of Manhattan. I've started to feel like parts of that borough are a trap for people like me. And if you think about it quite clearly, that is exactly what they are. Like P.T. Barnum said, there is a sucker born every minute. And NYC is where they flock to, like ferrets to a shiny coin. Little do they know that there is a hand behind that shiny coin, there to snap their necks and feed them to their unborn children.

well damn lol.

[grimace8]

Originally Posted by nycjowww

well damn lol.

She's keeping it real. For real real

[elsewhere]

nyjjowww and grimace8 - are you mocking her?

[hazeleyes86]

It depends on the area and block. Harlem is huge. I have many family members and friends who live there plus I worked there. Where my grandfather lives is quiet and pretty safe but also boring with hardly any stores that close. Where I worked was a very nice quiet tree lined street full of brownstones with stores nearby on the avenue. You need to do your research on any apt there and go see the area for yourself.

[SobroGuy]

I would say EastboundandDownchick's experience was due to one reason: POORLY PLANNED (as she stated). Guess what happens to people who just randomly pick up and move to Orlando (for example) dreaming of sunshine, Disneyworld, beaches and fun? They can't find work, live somewhere they don't want to be, don't have a car or license so cannot drive or get anywhere besides public transportation, bake in the sun, and end up hating it and leaving after a short time.

Does this make Orlando bad? NOPE..it means you did not do your homework, did not set your expectations, and made alot of poor choices. Her experience, while tragic, is what happens when you don't do your homework and happens everywhere. There are enough resources out there for people to prepare enough so that they don't end up like her....with some basic research and preparations this person could have had a much better experience. The lesson learned here should not be "NYC is aweful" the lesson is "DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE MOVING SO YOU DONT'T END UP LIKE HER."

[EastBoundandDownChick]

I never said NYC was a bad place, just that this was my experience. And while I agree with the general logic of your advice, you should know that I came from a town with 22% unemployment. There were no jobs there, therefore no way to save. It's easy to judge until you've actually lived through what I am talking about.

[SobroGuy]

I am not judging you, I am putting your experience into context. Whether there was 90% unemployment or 2% does not change the fact that you were not prepared at all to live in NYC, as you indicated yourself. As you did not prepare or do the proper research, you had a bad experience, which is no surprise. If I moved to Fargo, ND with no plan, no research, no preparations, do you believe I am likely to have a good or bad experience? It's really that simple...with the ease of information via the internet, you should have been better prepared, set your expectations appropriately, and ultimately could have avoided your negative experience...and you would be singing a different tune about your experience here.

[elsewhere]

Originally Posted by EastBoundandDownChick

I never said NYC was a bad place, just that this was my experience. And while I agree with the general logic of your advice, you should know that I came from a town with 22% unemployment. There were no jobs there, therefore no way to save. It's easy to judge until you've actually lived through what I am talking about.

Where exacly did you live in Harlem?