Am I being stupid to move?

[Kefir King]

Amb,
STAY where you are. You have advantages that others only dream of.

You say you hate what you are doing but that's what they will pigeon-hole you into if you try to get a job. Nobody wants anyone without relevant experience in this market.

There is a psychological issue that I reconize ALL too well, to my pain. You tend to sabotage yourself, by walking away, just as victory is in sight. It is an awful curse.


(Plan all your vacations around visits to New York. Heck, when you become CEO, open an OFFICE in NYC and install yourself here.)

[amb1983]

Originally Posted by jcoltrane

Yet, you still have your 55K job. You have provided NO evidence that you are in any way aware of the effects here in NYC!

I do still have a job, I also have been the one to let people go as result, I've been in involved in the decisions for raise suspensions, halting the matching of 401k contributions, decreasing other employee benefits and deciding who gets laid off. So yes I'm aware.

Originally Posted by jcoltrane

You will need a job, before arriving, in order to be accepted by a landlord.

Yes I know that too, I am also aware that its difficult to find a job unless you live here. I have friends I can stay with if I need to while I get things in order. Also if a co-signer / gaurantor is allowed I have that option as well

Originally Posted by jcoltrane

I believe that the fact that you DON'T get what I am saying is a measure of a lack of maturity and awareness. What I said was that w/o enough financial freedom, relative to where you are, the components which can and may bring you 'happiness' (as exampled in the Constitution) may be elusive.

I believe you are too young and inexperiened to comprehend. Ten years from now, perhaps, when the lure of NYC fades, and the reality of life here, w/o the disposable income you presently enjoy, you just may get it.

I have no idea who you are or what you do and I may be wrong but I am assuming you do not own your own business as I am fully aware of what you are saying. I also think you may be over valuing the stable income that I have. I am well aware I'm in a position 1000's would be envious of. I also know the pressures of keeping a business alive, and feeling responsible and the pressures that go along with it. The pressure and worry that comes along with keeping a business open because you are worried about YOUR EMPLOYEES is often times greater and more daunting than making money for yourself. I also think staying in a job that you don't enjoy just so you are living for the day where you can get a pay check and not work b/c you will have a company handed to you that you arent even interested in, isn't necessarily always the right thing to do for everyone. I am not saying its not going to be hard and I may not regret it.



I would also like to state that I in no way walked away from my degree at all. I will not go into the details of the situation, but for arguments sake just understand that not finishing that semester was unavoidable. All of my professors had agreed to work with me except for one who was unwilling to let me make things up, and after consulting with advisors it was in my best interest to have the semester dropped from my records than have a failing grade yet only have to make up one class as they can either drop the whole semester or nothing. Also understand then at that time the intention was to go back the very next semester to finish it, however I was already working full time where I am now and felt with everything it would be nice to work for a bit full time then start back part time, and putting it off has turned into today, however it was in no way a run away from my problems type situation, nor was it me sabatoging myself. It simply was not possible giving the circumstances and the situation had NOTHING to do with MY own mental help or was anything I had any influence in or caused or did. I'm not trying to say I shouldnt have finished / shouldnt go back and finish. However thats the position I am in now and wanted mention it just so as to get an honest opinion on job searches NOT a phsychological evalutation as to why I did not finish

Let me go back and say that if NY did not work out I would be able to return here and have a position paying close to what I do now, the opportunity to take it over just may no longer be there(and I am not sure I actually want to do that NY or not) I also own a condo in Raleigh and already have someone who has agreed to rent it for 24 months (as with the market I would not be able to sell it for what I paid)

As far as living I would like to live in Manhattan however living in a in a burrough / nj is definitely an option. I have good friends in Hoboken and I do enjoy that area a lot.

I guess as this is not really how I wanted to be thinking, but given my education and background and the 36k a year, do you think I would be able to find a job where I could make enough to be able to take advantage and actually enjoy the fact that I was living in ny for at least a few years and then at that time I can re-evaluate at the time. And by enjoy I do not mean eat at high end restaurants / bars every night and spend lots of money on clothes, just go out for dinner / drinks every so often etc.
I don't need comments on your thoughts of clueless transplants etc, or any more phychological evaluations just a yes or no on the job question.

[bg7]

"I don't need comments on your thoughts of clueless transplants etc, or any more phychological evaluations"

The title of your post asked if we thought you were stupid. We're just giving our opinions on that, without using the word stupid.

[amb1983]

Ok I will rephrase, I no longer want comments on that. Also really the clueless transplant issue was not giving me any advice based on my situation regardless. Me being stupid to leave what I have here and thinking the city needs less clueless transplants are not really the same issue anyways.

[bg7]

If, as you say, you'll have a position back down south even if everything goes pear-shaped here in NYC, then just quit taking advice and go find out. Then you'll know for sure rather than based on speculation.
Take care and good luck.

[grigou]

Originally Posted by jcoltrane

Before, Seinfeld, Friends, SexintheCity, and all the dumb movies, the above were the overwhelming bulk of those coming to NYC. Today, we have a whole host of those coming to 'find themselves' and/or to 'play at life' while being supported and/or heavily subsidized by their parents. Some come, just because back home is ***boring***!!

My thoughts exactly.

Remember when NYPD Blue premiered back in 1993? The influx of ignorant rookie cops from the midwest trying to get on the force of the NYPD? They all got apartments around Astor Place, wore uniforms for fun and barked at the junkis who littered. That was the demise of that neighborhood. Hollywood putting grand ideas into rooky cop heads and then throwing an entire city to the pigs.

And don't even get me started about the Scorsese flic "New York New York"!!!! How many dancers and singers and songwriters non borne in NY came here to "find themselves" and employment on broadway? Strutting and dancing through the streets singing and humming and trying to bring people good time when all we wanted was to sourpuss through our day and be left alone.

And then Al Pacino in "Cruiser". Oh my god. Gay S&M clubs suddenly became popular and the caucasian studs flocked to central park where they had sex freely in the bushes... and all of them from the midwest! What a disgrace! Our morally untouched city soiled by these brats who saw these clubs in a film and imagined that by coming to New York they would encounter only glitz and glitter! How wrong they were!

And remember when "French Connection" came out and every mope from New England wanted to move to Brooklyn and reenact chase scenes underneath the ELs? Those ignorant and, worse!, non-natives who walked through a subway trains from the first to the last car all day long just because it looked so cool in the movie? What a disgrace for our glorious pure-blooded city! And what a nuisance for commuters who suddenly didn't have to deal with crackheads and bums anymore but with stupid transplants who thought they would end up on Broadway if only they walked through the trains long enough!!

I, like you, can only shake my head at how Hollywood has always contributed to the deluding of the pure New York race by creating a glamour world and encouraging non-natives to move here and bother us.

[Bronxguyanese]

Originally Posted by amb1983

Here is my current situation, I am a 28 yr old female from Raleigh NC. My father owns a business where I currently make 55k, from another rental business I make $36,140. The income from the rental business will not go away once I move. Due to some family issues I did not graduate (2 weeks shy of graduating) I currently work in sales however the end goal is for me to take over as President of the company making over 6 figures.

I however am not happy at all here, I have tried to love the business and I just don't, however I have always been hesitant to leave seeing as the end result would be hard to walk away from, and probably never would leave for another job in this area.

I have always loved NYC and have been there probably 15-20 times. I feel like I hear a lot of people say they would like to move there, and not ever even having lived there I think to myself you think you do but you don't. I know a lot of people dream about the glam they see on TV. I am fully aware that it is not like any of that unless you are very wealthy (which I know I would not be there) I am aware that I will be living in an apartment the size of a shoe box, counting pennies. I understand the harshness of the fast paced lifestyle and the competitiveness of the city. I also feel like those are some of the things I love about the city. It's hard to explain how I feel about NYC I just feel like its somewhere I am meant to live or at least give it a shot. Everytime I go I feel like I am home in a weird way. I always take trips there and come back thinking about moving and then never follow through and come up with some excuse to convince myself not to. I recently traveled to visit friends who have recently moved to the area and I feel like everything has fallen into place to make this the right time to go for it. I am scared I will get older and always have the "what if" in the back of my mind if I never give it a shot.

With all that being said and factoring in that I would still have a little bit of a cushion with the rental company income (I realize 36k is not much in NY) am I being silly to consider leaving everything behind and going for it? Also how much trouble do you think I will have finding a job given I do not actually have a degree however have 4 years experience in sales and have worked here a total of 8 years assisting in accounting and support of the CEO and COO. Sorry for such a lengthy, post any feed back would be great!

I wouldnt say you are stupid to move to NYC. For one your established career wise in NC and you have a steady income, if you come to NYC you will have to find another job again and start over, but can you find a job here in NYC similar to your famlies business. For some Transplants that I have met it was difficult to find a job but many got through and foudn a job much more easily then the locals and plus parents from home sent finiancial assistance like rent money which cost twice thier parents mortgage back home. It would be better if you did not have a job and then you make the leap of faith to the city of your dream and then everything falls in place like many Transplants.

I know three girls who are from the Raleigh Durham area, they live in Midtown and live in a doorman rental and they love NYC, one of the girls expressed interest of never moving back to NC and life there is boring and slow. One of the girls try to mimic a sex and city lifestyle while the other moved to NYC to search for love. I gotta call these chicks up and see whats up again. However as a a NYER I found North Carolina to be a fun place, relaxing and also the women there are pretty and down to F and S, excuse my French. I have visited NC before and some of the young twenty somethings expressed interest in moving to NYC and are dumbfounded about why New Yorkers moving to NC. I even have a niece who told me when she turns 18 she is living NC to come to NYC for college.

As for you if you wanna leave NC and leave a stable job and a home and move to place with no job and move into a canteen/shoebox apt, be my guest. If moving to NYC is gonna bring your happiness by seeing a dying diversity of the city in favor of more homogenous waspy culture that is growing like wild fire in NYC, than be my guest. If you do move to NYC I hope that this place makes you happy, by sipping Starbucks or find a an out of town boyfriend who has same interest as you. I wish you goodluck on your quest for happiness by moving to NYC. I advice you if you have many NC to NYC friends or of some sort hook up with them or go to Transplant NYC meetups on meetup.com.

[L'Artiste]

i say visit here first..not as a tourist but as person who lives here? do you know anyone here? when i first came here my cousin threw me out there, told me the 411 on everything and i learned all 5 boroughs + subways route (by memory) in a week.. at first its REALLY SCARY but after a week youll be fine..you need to see/learn here first to be sure you know what your getting yourself into.