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Old 10-02-2011, 08:15 AM
 
14 posts, read 78,215 times
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I have to go to a wedding in Manhattan soon and will be giving cash as a gift. But I'm not sure what an appropriate dollar amount would be.

I personally know both the bride and the groom, but would not consider either of them to be close friends. They're better described as casual friends, friends of friends, or very good acquaintances. Over the six years I've known them, we've certainly hung out a fair number of times - always in a group setting for things like dinner, drinks, shows/concerts, etc. But I've never, ever contacted this couple to specifically hang out with them alone, and vice versa.

Basically, we met through mutual friends and have continued to hang out within that same circle of people over the years.

On top of that, I don't particularly like either of them, although I always try to be superficially friendly and polite without pretending that we're best buddies or anything. They're basically decent people, but kind of pretentious and sanctimonious in that tragically hip sort of way (they're Williamsburg hipsters).

To be honest, I initially waffled on whether to even attend the wedding, but realized that since I live nearby and since we have a lot of mutual friends, it would be a major diss if I declined the invitation. And even if I didn't go, I'd still have to send a card with a monetary gift.

I hate to describe my relationship with the bride and groom in this manner, but I figure that total frankness is the only way to give you guys a good idea of my situation.

Both the wedding ceremony and the reception are supposed to be relatively casual compared with some of the lavish Manhattan weddings you sometimes see. The reception will take place at a moderately expensive Midtown restaurant ($20-$28/entree for regular dinner service).

I will be attending this wedding alone.

If you were in my shoes, how much would you give this couple?
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Old 10-02-2011, 09:42 AM
 
67 posts, read 215,387 times
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Don't break your bank on their account.

Pay enough for your plate (and maybe some added change). $200 at most, $100 at minimum. I think $200 is the minimum for couples though so don't go over $200 especially considering these are not close people to you and the fact that you are going alone.

Last edited by TheWesternEastern; 10-02-2011 at 09:54 AM..
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Old 10-02-2011, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
2,868 posts, read 4,040,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadyside View Post
(they're Williamsburg hipsters)
I feel your pain!
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Old 10-02-2011, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,750 posts, read 25,526,667 times
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I would say that a minimum of $100 (because you don't like them particularly), but no more than $250. If it were me, I'd be inclined to the $200-$250 mark, since you would want to quash any chatter among mutual friends regarding the wedding gift.
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Old 10-02-2011, 12:40 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
169 posts, read 309,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadyside View Post
I will be attending this wedding alone.

If you were in my shoes, how much would you give this couple?
As a solo guest going to a not-too-fancy wedding of people I didn't particularly like, I would probably give between $100-150 (unless I knew my other friends also attending were giving more).
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Old 10-02-2011, 02:10 PM
 
Location: No Sleep Til Brooklyn
1,413 posts, read 4,673,300 times
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$100 tops. If someone talks badly about your gift, they aren't worth having in your circle. It's a GIFT.

Four years later, I honestly don't remember who gave us how much for our wedding, except for the one person who didn't even give us a card and I've NEVER mentioned it to anyone in our circle. That would just be rude.
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Old 10-03-2011, 11:21 AM
 
14 posts, read 78,215 times
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Thanks to everyone for the great tips, I really appreciate it.
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:23 PM
 
Location: The Internetz
180 posts, read 283,928 times
Reputation: 187
Give them however much you drink at their open bar..
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Confines of the 101 Precinct
19,103 posts, read 32,666,756 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadyside View Post
On top of that, I don't particularly like either of them
I dont get it.....why are you going again?
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,134 posts, read 26,416,255 times
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I'd go $50...or else stay home and send only a card. Feign a bad cold.

Why should we torture ourselves doing what others THINK we should? After all kiddies, this is not a rehearsal but the only life we get.
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