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Old 01-02-2012, 11:54 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,649 times
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Oh, ok. I left ny to live in Venice beach... Found la so wonderful and god, did it feel good. The weather is like wearing a cashmere sweater all the time. I also loved that as a half Asian person in ca I was just part of the scene(ery)... So much diversity and yet people are just American out there. One big problem I had w ny was how pigeonholed the vast majority of people were within their own ethnic group... Hyperconscious ethnocentrism... Flags of all kinds representing home-country pride... It made it feel very checker-boarded and hard to cross boundaries... I was definitely called a white B@!'on one occasion and an Asian b on another... Why not just a B??? I guess looking back on my 12 years there that was truly my biggest gripe- so much distrust among people essentially along racial/ ethnic lines...
When moved to ny at 17 from west TX, I saw that there were so many things I'd never seen before(pea coats and wool socks and everything bagels). And it was fun and so much more elevated- exposure to movies and music- you forget that after a while- you forget that you didn't know anything before. There was sophistication I'd never expected and there was also serendipity, like going to a celebrity filled party just because you met the mgr of the four seasons outside smoking a cigarette and then you went home and changed to go to this party you didn't even know was happening, or like seeing your favorite band do a "free" show on top of radio city just bc you were walking by at the right moment.
When I started supporting myself, ny lost it's luster for me. I had been in college and grad school (extended vacation!), and then was suddenly shuttling between the Bronx and queens for my two jobs. Also, I never found a tight group of friends there in my 12 years, as everyone is so busy I'd meet the occassional friend for an occassion dinner. It made city life so lonely!!!
Moving to la was like coming out of a deep depression I didn't even know I was in. My new place was the size of a dollhouse but I didn't care bc I had the ocean, sunsets, bike rides, and new friends. Yet, in the back of my head, this feeling of the big apple started to reemerge. I mean I realized that the only reason I could enjoy la was because ny formed a template for me from which to experience other American cities. My 12 yrs in NYC were carved out in my heart. Permanence. Ny changed me. It grew me up. Giving me a lens was the most obvious of these gifts to me. Maybe it was different for me because I was so young when I moved there and had never been anywhere.
I left la for a prestigious hair apprenticeship in Dallas that I got while visiting my dad here. This city boasts fine cultural institutions, quirky neighborhoods, a badass cost of living. And tons and tons of shopping. But, I abhor car culture, and everyone's suv is bigger than your car, and grocery shopping is a true breeze but then you get in your car and you're like, "now what?". And also, going to the museums take effort and planning, difference being in ny you can kind of just pop in to the Guggenheim while walking down the street. So does going to the grocery store, unlike living in manhattan where I would just order from fresh direct or go to my local health food store.
Oh, and the music scene in ny is just totally overwhelmingly amazing... I miss it soooooo much. I am planning to move back, now that I have a child, I really want him to grow up in the city. It's simply for educational purposes... See everything, learn to mind your own business, learn cosmopolitan self sufficiency, have amazing work and entertainment possibilities, take a taxi when you're in trouble. While he may decide to leave at some point, it will probably alwYs be my home.. La is so beautiful, and Dallas is so easy, but they aren't new York. Things are just different there, neither better nor worse, and you just have to decide that that difference is for you.

Last edited by Kidgloves; 01-03-2012 at 12:08 AM..
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Old 01-03-2012, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Crown Heights
965 posts, read 2,106,054 times
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^So LA doesn't have racism the way NY does? I guess the Rodney King Riots and the black and brown conflicts and killings were just public disturbances....

You're right, there is some racist b.s. here, but ethnocentrism here is because of dense immigrant communities that rely on each other as a network. It serves as a function to help each other out, not to exclude people. But I can safely say, as a black person I can walk through any NY neighborhood without getting attacked because of my color or ethnicity. I've been told the same doesn't hold true for LA.
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Old 01-04-2012, 12:43 AM
 
Location: Bronx
14,780 posts, read 17,404,166 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twist07 View Post
^So LA doesn't have racism the way NY does? I guess the Rodney King Riots and the black and brown conflicts and killings were just public disturbances....

You're right, there is some racist b.s. here, but ethnocentrism here is because of dense immigrant communities that rely on each other as a network. It serves as a function to help each other out, not to exclude people. But I can safely say, as a black person I can walk through any NY neighborhood without getting attacked because of my color or ethnicity. I've been told the same doesn't hold true for LA.
Howard beach and bensonhurst rings a tune?
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Old 01-04-2012, 01:07 AM
 
669 posts, read 1,036,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twist07 View Post
^So LA doesn't have racism the way NY does? I guess the Rodney King Riots and the black and brown conflicts and killings were just public disturbances....

You're right, there is some racist b.s. here, but ethnocentrism here is because of dense immigrant communities that rely on each other as a network. It serves as a function to help each other out, not to exclude people. But I can safely say, as a black person I can walk through any NY neighborhood without getting attacked because of my color or ethnicity. I've been told the same doesn't hold true for LA.
Ive heard about the black/brown conflicts in LA it's not like some of the small random hate crimes we have here in certain neighborhoods in LA I read even little kids have bee killed just for being Black or Mexican. As far as black/brown race relations in NY vs LA were like a utopia here in that regard since there isn't a lot of beef between blacks and hispanics here compared to LA.
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Old 01-04-2012, 05:00 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,129 posts, read 26,416,255 times
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I recall getting lost in LA and driving mile after mile after mile after mile through neighborhoods where NOBODY was not Mexican.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
7,901 posts, read 6,474,824 times
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I think it's hard to argue for NYC being one of the more racist places in America.

We have our flareups, but overall I think people talk about race more than they actually care about it here. I've spent significant time living in a few different parts of this country, and I'd rate all of them way worse than NY as far as racism is concerned. Lousiana was the worst I've ever seen. It literally made me sick.
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Old 01-04-2012, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Crown Heights
965 posts, read 2,106,054 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
Howard beach and bensonhurst rings a tune?
Yeah back in the late 80's and don't forget Crown Heights in '91. But aside from police brutality, I can't think of a recent NYC incident that is comparable to things in recent LA history, the Mexican Mafia actually decreeing the purging of blacks from their neighborhoods which resulted in the killing of innocent people, even young children and not by accident. Black gangs in Compton who killed an older Mexican man in his car setting the whole community against each other. All these things happened within the previous decade. Whatever racial tension we have had here in recent years doesn't compare to what has happened in LA.
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Old 01-04-2012, 02:08 PM
 
669 posts, read 1,036,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefir King View Post
I recall getting lost in LA and driving mile after mile after mile after mile through neighborhoods where NOBODY was not Mexican.
Ive never been to LA but my brothers best friend moved to LA and came back to NYC last year, he said it's really Mexican and there's hardly any blacks in the non ghetto areas. He also said LA is like 90% of miles and miles of suburban like residential neighborhoods. H e was telling us besides the weather he really couldn't stand living out there and that it's great for a visit but not to live if your a native NYer.
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Old 01-10-2012, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Massatucky
1,157 posts, read 1,918,503 times
Reputation: 1744
I left NY/NYC area 30 years ago and glad I did. I live in suburb that is very rural with a population of 3500, 40 mins from Boston. You can own a 2400 SF house here for $400K, but it may need work. Same house in NY would be twice that in a so-so area. We have great schools, pizza and bagels too - along with some of the most talented and courteous drivers in the world.
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:38 PM
 
Location: CT
323 posts, read 539,974 times
Reputation: 184
kidgloves: Love your post. Some of the posters got caught up in the comments about ethnic groups sticking together, but I didn't take that as you complaining about racism?? Maybe I'm wrong.

But, the rest of your post is dead-on, and poetic. I grew up right outside NYC, went to parties in Harlem when I was 17, have traveled half way across the world, lived in different locals, and and am now thinking of returning. Everything pales in comparison. It does, indeed, shape your views and stretch your perception, and it is hard to fill those big shoes after living here. When my kids say certain things to me, things that make me realize they are learning from a narrow perspective, I say to myself, I gotta get my kids back to NYC!
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