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Old 10-19-2011, 08:36 AM
 
2,684 posts, read 3,099,398 times
Reputation: 1478

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Quote:
Originally Posted by henry1 View Post
Now for job hour there are job no matter what your going to have to put in the hour's and yes my days are about 14 hour days which is the norm for my line of work .

I was going to say something similar. 10-14 hour days is pretty normal in a lot of fields. In fact, in my opinion, a 10 hour day for me is a really great day where wow I have time to do something after work. If what that work gets you in terms of promotions or job satisfaction isn't what your desire, then it's time to consider a new job. If you're working hours you don't like to afford this luxury Williamsburg place that isn't making you happy, then it's not worth it.

From others I know, moving from the West Coast to East Coast can be a big challenge - even after 2 years. It is an adjustment and a different lifestyle. People value different things here; if not, you would feel no difference from Oregon.

I agree with some other posters about checking out some other parts of the city that you might enjoy more, or even parts of NJ. By increasing your commute just slightly, you mind find a difference.

In terms of meeting new people, meetup.com and zog sports are ways people I know have met new friends. There's lot of options. Good luck to you.
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
11,232 posts, read 10,865,463 times
Reputation: 4724
If one feels the real need to compete with those working 10-14 hours per day, then there is not going to be any peace of mind unless one LOVES the job...I've heard that about 4 people in the city fall into that category, Bloomberg being one. Where one calls home is not going to change the facts that you are giving all you have to the workplace.. after giving 14 hours a day, there is nothing left except maintenence time, washing, sleeping, eating, commuting and shopping.
A slow moving city is not going to change that...you need a slow YOU.
If you decide to NOT play the 14 hour "make-work, shuffle papers" game then you will soon find yourself out the door.

Get a job "with the City," the State or the Federal government and put in your 35 or 40 hours per week and have a life.

I wish I had done that and said TO HELL with the people who said that a degreed prestige job in private industry was anything more than a satanic torment...it's not.

Just try to imagine the totality of a whole life lived under the stress of knowing you could be fired for no reason on sombody's whim. How much more soul-sucking can anything be?
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:52 AM
 
1,777 posts, read 1,747,096 times
Reputation: 2936
To be honest, I'm a native NY'er, but I spent most of my 20's & 30's living abroad. I can relate to you, however, in that I made a big move to Sydney, Australia. Like NY, Sydney is touted as a dream sort of city. Great career opportunities, wonderful lifestyle, beautiful weather, awesome people who are always ready to have a blast and some mind-blowing scenery. And yet ... I just could not get myself to fit in. And like you, I kept trying and trying. Friends were not a problem - I met a bunch of expats from all over the world in addition to really great locals. But I just never felt at home. I kept trying different things since I thought the problem was me. Different apartment shares, different jobs - you name it. In the end, I had to call it a day.

Each city has its own particular vibe. It either suits you as an individual or it doesn't. I think you have truly given NYC a fair shot. It's just not the place for you. Life is short, my love. Stop trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. Use your free time to research on-line other cities which interest you and fit your career goals. Go out and find where you're suppose to be. You'll know when you've found it. Best of luck to you!!
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Old 10-19-2011, 10:09 AM
 
1,259 posts, read 1,706,425 times
Reputation: 550
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefir King View Post
If one feels the real need to compete with those working 10-14 hours per day, then there is not going to be any peace of mind unless one LOVES the job...I've heard that about 4 people in the city fall into that category, Bloomberg being one. Where one calls home is not going to change the facts that you are giving all you have to the workplace.. after giving 14 hours a day, there is nothing left except maintenence time, washing, sleeping, eating, commuting and shopping.
A slow moving city is not going to change that...you need a slow YOU.
If you decide to NOT play the 14 hour "make-work, shuffle papers" game then you will soon find yourself out the door.

Get a job "with the City," the State or the Federal government and put in your 35 or 40 hours per week and have a life.

I wish I had done that and said TO HELL with the people who said that a degreed prestige job in private industry was anything more than a satanic torment...it's not.

Just try to imagine the totality of a whole life lived under the stress of knowing you could be fired for no reason on sombody's whim. How much more soul-sucking can anything be?
I learned a couple thing's about my job and my socalled social life .

1-no matter what i can not go any higher in my company inless the two people above dies simple fact about but the truth .So i knock off the two people above me to move up in the company or i can learn to relax and have fun in my work and know that the owner and his two kid's and his sister are the only people above me in my work..I can only get fired and hired back in the same day a couple time's a month by the owner and knowing the simple fact that the end of the day i will still have my job because no one else what's to do it not even his kid's or his sister or him

So have fun at work and learn to cut out some of the work BS and play at work some days .Me i have load's of dunk people to play with at time's in my line of work and it get's fun in away that only bar people can understand it at time's

The gentlemen had been bought out of the bar that night that the same night that the light's had been over PHX and i was trying to get him into a cab to go home or the hotel .I had talked him into beliving that the light's over Phx at the time was the mother ship and he was taken by them and they just had droped him off in the parking lot and he needed to get home because he had to tell his wife & kid's that he was ok .

He got into the cab and was taken back to the hotel room where he was staying at by the cab company we use there .The other people who where out there thought it was the funny thing that they had ever since or heard someone say to someone in our line of work .

So have fun in your work or it going to eat you up intill there is nothing left in your soul .

.2.if your not happy here then your not going to be happy there intill you find something that make's you happy in the socalled work life.

As the gentlemen pointed out in his post you have to learn to relax somewhere and it on the weekend's or some time off here and there to recharge the battery's

My job bought me to the city and it been a nice long vaction for me because of dealing with the city to get everything going and i had pretty of down time and now it time to kick back into high gear and put in the hour's to earn my pay for the company
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Old 10-19-2011, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
1,072 posts, read 1,659,959 times
Reputation: 747
I used to live in NYC, grew up in LA, and from what you wrote, I think you would enjoy living in San Francisco, especially since you are from Oregon.

1. Better work life balance - less of a rat race and 10-14 hr days are certainly not as common as NYC, but still have lots of opportunity depending on what industry you are in
2. Healthier lifestyle and lots of fit people with lots of healthy food options - nearly every restaurant has a vegetarian option on their menu and organic is common here
3. More laid back, less stressed people - people tend to be more optimistic, idealistic and egalitarian here- less cynicism and more kid-at-heart
4. Nicer more courteous people - i.e. people actually smile and say hello and when driving will actually let you change lanes
5. Nicer weather and a plethora of great outdoor activities in beautiful settings
6. Great grocery stores with fresh produce straight from the farms of central California: Safeway, Whole Foods, Trader Joes everywhere plus awesome local farmers markets
7. Lower cost of living than NYC and more square footage for the dollar

Last edited by mini_cute; 10-19-2011 at 12:42 PM..
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Old 10-20-2011, 08:20 AM
 
4 posts, read 5,662 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefir King View Post
If one feels the real need to compete with those working 10-14 hours per day, then there is not going to be any peace of mind unless one LOVES the job...I've heard that about 4 people in the city fall into that category, Bloomberg being one. Where one calls home is not going to change the facts that you are giving all you have to the workplace.. after giving 14 hours a day, there is nothing left except maintenence time, washing, sleeping, eating, commuting and shopping.
A slow moving city is not going to change that...you need a slow YOU.
If you decide to NOT play the 14 hour "make-work, shuffle papers" game then you will soon find yourself out the door.

Get a job "with the City," the State or the Federal government and put in your 35 or 40 hours per week and have a life.

I wish I had done that and said TO HELL with the people who said that a degreed prestige job in private industry was anything more than a satanic torment...it's not.

Just try to imagine the totality of a whole life lived under the stress of knowing you could be fired for no reason on sombody's whim. How much more soul-sucking can anything be?
Thanks everyone! I guess this quote best captures where I'm currently at. My job is certainly bearable, but it's nothing I want to make a career out of it. Other opportunities I've pursued with different companies or in different industries haven't seemed much better, and I've begun to take on more entrepreneurial work outside my current job (online-based, so less reliant on NYC's entrepreneur-friendliness). In the end, it comes down to life outside the office for me, and I really haven't been any more enamored by the Bronx, Jersey, or Westchester than I have of Brooklyn. I also have similar feelings to cokatie--it's still plenty early in my career and I may want to take the opportunity to experience other parts of the country while I can.

As it stands, I'm going to pursue my opportunity in NC to see where that leads. If that doesn't pan out, it looks like it's definitely time to try a different area of NYC where I can have my own space and quiet, even if the commute isn't as great. Thanks again for the help!
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Old 10-20-2011, 08:25 AM
 
2,684 posts, read 3,099,398 times
Reputation: 1478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northwestablished View Post
Thanks everyone! I guess this quote best captures where I'm currently at. My job is certainly bearable, but it's nothing I want to make a career out of it. Other opportunities I've pursued with different companies or in different industries haven't seemed much better, and I've begun to take on more entrepreneurial work outside my current job (online-based, so less reliant on NYC's entrepreneur-friendliness). In the end, it comes down to life outside the office for me, and I really haven't been any more enamored by the Bronx, Jersey, or Westchester than I have of Brooklyn. I also have similar feelings to cokatie--it's still plenty early in my career and I may want to take the opportunity to experience other parts of the country while I can.

As it stands, I'm going to pursue my opportunity in NC to see where that leads. If that doesn't pan out, it looks like it's definitely time to try a different area of NYC where I can have my own space and quiet, even if the commute isn't as great. Thanks again for the help!
Good for you. Good luck with everything. You sound like a smart and level-headed person that is willing to explore different opportunities. I think that's great, and I hope you find your calling. I have heard great things about living/working in NC.
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Old 10-21-2011, 01:07 PM
 
Location: NY,NY
2,901 posts, read 4,661,606 times
Reputation: 1845
OP, I didn't read through the whole thread, and I am a native NYer, but as I read your post I do not think your issues are germaine to Transplants.

I suspect, that the issue for you is that you came to NYC w/o clear goals. Specifically, in regard to career and money.

If you had come to NYC to advance to a high level in your field and earn a great deal of money, then what you have experienced in the 2 short years w/b just part of the price.

It seems such was and is not your goals and the price is too high. Again, I suspect that you came to NYC not for career and money, but for a lifestyle which you perceived incorrectly. You are not alone in thinking that NYC w/b a 'fun' place to live and work, then to discover your perception of life and work to be more suitable for a slower pace and lower goals.

NYC is not the place to seek an 'ordinary' life, as the cost for such is far greater and the quality far lower than most anywhere; and comparing the South and NYC is apples and oranges.

NYC is a nice place to visit, but not everyone should live here.

Luck!
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