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Old 10-18-2011, 09:03 AM
 
4 posts, read 8,860 times
Reputation: 14

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Hoping someone has had a similar experience to mine and can shed some light on the following:

I'm a young professional born and raised in Oregon, I attended school in L.A., and have been working in NYC for the last two and a half years. In my time in New York, I've lived half a dozen places (UWS, UES, Hells Kitchen, Bed-Stuy, Park Slope, all within the first year) and for the last year and change I've been on lease in a brand new Williamsburg luxury building. I love the building, my neighbors, the neighborhood, the commute, the food, even my job to an extent which is a stretch.

All the same, I still can't shake the feeling that NYC is not the place for me (at least right now). I feel like for the most part, I've gotten angrier, more impatient, more stressed, more cynical--all the cliches. I get irrationally pissed off by people moving slower than I'd like, or "being in my way" on the sidewalks or tunnels.

For a while, I was a slave to my job and lost all self-respect before finally climbing back to a healthy work-life balance, but I feel like I'm still surrounded by people at my work who see nothing wrong with being at the office 10-14 hours a day or on weekends. Just that fact has made me wary of meeting new people--I've really only made one or two friends in my time in New York.

In short, I feel myself clamoring for above everything else space (to afford a luxury building, I am of course splitting a studio), privacy, quiet, driving...I even miss chain grocery stores (Gristedes doesn't count). I may soon have an opportunity to relocate to a much smaller city further South, but let's be real: you will not have any more opportunity than you do in New York, and I know I'm not maximizing it.

Is anyone a non-native New Yorker who had a really tough time acclimating to the city but has finally adjusted and loves it? How can I check my attitude/fine the "right" NYC for me? Or should I just be honest with myself and head South? Would love to hear anyone's thoughts...
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Parkway,The Bronx
8,389 posts, read 19,623,816 times
Reputation: 6215
Why don't you move to a less hectic,less expensive area of NYC ?

There are plenty of neighborhoods in NYC where you could live in a much bigger apartment,maybe have a car with little hassle,be near bigger "chain stores" if you want them.

Every neighborhood you mentioned living in is either very expensive or just expensive and trendy and none of them offer the the type of things you say you want.

It sounds to me like you have sort of painted yourself into your little corner.It really is possible to have a different experience living in NYC while still taking advantage of the things you like.

Take it from someone who lived in Williamsburg for many years but recently moved to The Bronx !
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Old 10-18-2011, 11:11 AM
 
1,320 posts, read 3,499,122 times
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Based on what you wrote, it sounds like lot of the issues and emotions you are experiencing are due your job.

Personally I see nothing wrong with 10-14 a day because that's what individuals need to do to standout and to get ahead of others in NYC due to competitive nature of our environment. That said, if climbing up that ladder in career isn't the highest goal in your life at the moment and more about work life balance.

Find another job that fits your updated outlook on life. There are many companies in NYC that has great corporate culture where they don't strive churn people in/out to milk and then burn you out. Aside from that, if anything try sticking it out for another year and if it absolutely drives you nuts as it is now. Then move out of state and try another location.

Unless you find the stress and work life to be worthwhile in return for career, money, experience opportunity. Plus not everyone is cut out for certain areas whether that's bustling urban city or countryside. I for example was enjoying my life in North NJ but my wife was going crazy.
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Old 10-18-2011, 02:35 PM
 
168 posts, read 455,267 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedog2 View Post
Why don't you move to a less hectic,less expensive area of NYC ?

There are plenty of neighborhoods in NYC where you could live in a much bigger apartment,maybe have a car with little hassle,be near bigger "chain stores" if you want them.

Every neighborhood you mentioned living in is either very expensive or just expensive and trendy and none of them offer the the type of things you say you want.

It sounds to me like you have sort of painted yourself into your little corner.It really is possible to have a different experience living in NYC while still taking advantage of the things you like.

Take it from someone who lived in Williamsburg for many years but recently moved to The Bronx !
I agree with Bluedog. I think you may want to try a more residential neighborhood in NYC. There are areas of Brooklyn and Queens where a car is almost a necessity. You can drive to big box retail, etc., but you may start complaining about the commute to Manhattan. You can always try Westchester, but it doesn't sound like you are in a financial position to live there.
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Old 10-18-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Maryland
18,563 posts, read 15,771,473 times
Reputation: 6259
I'm non-native ex-NYC resident but grew up in DC but I feel where you are coming from. You may just have to bite the bullet and move. NYC is not going to change, in fact change is no longer allowed in the city.

There are plenty of nice areas with spacious apartments in this country close to amenities etc. pick one and move.
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Old 10-18-2011, 06:06 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 20,734,839 times
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It sounds like you are a good candidate for moving to a smaller city.

however, I really don't understand why you would split a studio apartment. This makes no sense to me. You could have gotten a place for yourself somewhere in a less trendy neighborhood and had peace and quiet and an apartment to yourself when you returned home from your stressful job.

IMHO, you are not really making the right choices. I also don't understand how you could live in six different places in one year alone. This means moving every two months. No wonder you don't like it here -- first moving every two months and then sharing a studio!!

I know people who live in more residential areas of Queens like Kew Gardens, have a decent commute to the city on the E/F train and still drive their cars to Long Island for shopping at big box stores on weekends. It can be done (and probably for the same rent you are paying on your half-luxury-studio) but I still think you should probably consider moving to a different city.
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Old 10-18-2011, 06:17 PM
 
Location: New York NY
4,133 posts, read 5,942,768 times
Reputation: 8670
Agree with all the above. Either stretch yr commute so that you can have a bigger place in a less hectic and intense nabe or leave the NYC metro area altogether. If you like the job do the former. If not, get out of Dodge.
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:49 PM
 
241 posts, read 507,188 times
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I lived a month in Jersey City (Newport). Very suburban, quiet, with Target, ShopRite and a mall. Grove Street (also Jersey City) is cute, and cheaper without the city view. All are a PATH train away from your job.
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Old 10-19-2011, 12:50 AM
 
1,494 posts, read 2,258,428 times
Reputation: 923
I see you're seeking info from fellow transplants, but I wanted to ask a couple of questions.

What career are you pursuing? Depending on the career choice, you may be looking at a 10-14 hour day no matter where you go.

Are you renting small places due to budget constraints? Or to keep your commute short?

And I agree with the other poster that pointed out you've been on the move every 2 months to a new residence. That alone will put even the most mellow person on edge.

IF you have the funds for a car, you may want to look into moving farther out, even within driving distance of a metro north station if you don't mind a longer commute. I can't really advise on the outer boroughs since I haven't lived there, but you're probably not going to find the space you're looking for unless you head for the outskirts.
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Old 10-19-2011, 01:25 AM
 
1,308 posts, read 2,913,314 times
Reputation: 613
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkonost View Post
I see you're seeking info from fellow transplants, but I wanted to ask a couple of questions.

What career are you pursuing? Depending on the career choice, you may be looking at a 10-14 hour day no matter where you go.

Are you renting small places due to budget constraints? Or to keep your commute short?

And I agree with the other poster that pointed out you've been on the move every 2 months to a new residence. That alone will put even the most mellow person on edge.

IF you have the funds for a car, you may want to look into moving farther out, even within driving distance of a metro north station if you don't mind a longer commute. I can't really advise on the outer boroughs since I haven't lived there, but you're probably not going to find the space you're looking for unless you head for the outskirts.
He bring up a pretty good point about the socalled career choice .

Now my job has taken me all over the states and i can say at time's i feel like another rat in the socalled rat race that we call our job's

Now for job hour there are job no matter what your going to have to put in the hour's and yes my days are about 14 hour days which is the norm for my line of work .

Renting a smaller place i can aford a larger place but i'm a bit of a cheapskate to a point to throw money at a large place when i'm only there to sleep-- eat--shower- before and after work and maybe have a female guest overnight here and there .So a small studio fit's me prefectly into my life and i do feel that having a smaller place does help me with keeping it clean and cutter free because not having the space needed for larger items inside the place .

Not having a car is great in my book because of it forcing me to walk or take a cab or ride the subway now and that better for my overall health .

Friend's are also part of the socalled area i have went out and found people to hang out that my age group along with finding someone to date also there in the city .It does boil down to how open are you to meeting new people .

I went to a local church open night single's mixer and i been to a couple of bar's to meet people .it just a matter of taking the time to open your self up to outside world. I now have three or four place's where i go to and get food that know's my order pretty good and i sit and talk to them here and there

Plus sometime's you just have to get out of the city to recharge the battery bank sometime's my girlfriend & her kid and i took the train down to DC and spent a long weekend sight seeing there and then drove out to a couple of areas in WV & VA to spend the night out in the country to sight see there also and do a little shopping also .Me i slept like a baby in those areas and they could not sleep without the sound's of the city outside there window's

Last edited by henry1; 10-19-2011 at 01:35 AM..
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