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Funny I visit a friend in a yuppie white majority building and everyone has been nice.
Never saw a difference between the different races in that building.
No discernable difference between the races on the street. In fact on 9/11 I was covered in soot trying to get back uptown and people stopped to help me. People were just people that day.
I don't think its necessarily about saying Hi to everyone on the street, but rather random interactions with strangers. No matter where I go throughout the country - Seattle, Palm Beach, LA - people seem friendlier whether its when I'm waiting for an elevator, standing in line at the store, etc. This even holds true when I'm visiting my company's offices outside of NYC. My fellow co-workers across the country will strike up conversations randomly even though we don't know each other. This never happens in NYC.
Hmm. But by international standards NYC seems seems quite polite. People from Sydney, my city, always find New Yorkers to be far more polite than us! London I've also found to be less polite than New York, in fact that's the rudest city I've seen, people don't merely ignore 'random interactions', but any attempt of it will receive an angry glare.
I took a class on metropolitan studies, and my professor stressed the word blase (there's an accent over the e, pronounced blah - say). From a sociological viewpoint, I've read that there exists an unspoken social contract that pretty much says "I'll stay out of your business; in return you should stay out of mine." This arose as a consequence of the large density of people in urban environments. It's basically a defense mechanism to keep our sanity in check, since we can keep social connections with so few people (see Dunbar's number).
I think your professor is on to something. In my experience, people in large cities are less likely to greet bypassers, although there are some large cities that may be a little more polite than NYC.
Population size and density seems to be a factor. If you live in a small town and come across 5 people on your way to work, you can say Hello and even engage in a little small talk. If you live in NYC and leave your house at 8am for work, if you greeted every one of the 200 +people you pass, you would be tired by the time you got to work. If you stopped for a little chit chat with half of them, you'd be fired after repeatedly arriving at work in the afternoon. Don't take it personally. It is just that we have to conserve our energy and time for work. Don't take it personally if you greet me with 'Good morning!' and I reply with, "Your are entitled to your opinion.' the first time and ignore you every day after. I'll still think good thoughts about you.
Middle or upper-middle class whites tend to behave in a more reserved manner out in public, to paint with a broad brush. Anglo cultured people just don't talk to each other the way blacks and Hispanics do, unless you get out into the country/rural settings. In the city it's like they're brought up to be uneasy or immediately skeptical of people they don't know or don't have any obvious common ground with trying to engage in any "off-script" interaction with them.
Friendly and polite are not the same thing--it is not impolite not to respond to someone's overtures on the street. This is the CITY. No one owes anyone a response. If you are expecting (not just hoping for it) friendliness, go to church or some other social group. But if I'm walking down the street and some random guy tries to chat with me, honestly my first thought is that 1) he's hitting on me, 2) he's going to ask for money, or 3) he's looking to scam or rob me. Because *invariably* that is the case. I might be friendlier to women or kids, but not to some strange guy.
Inside your building is a different matter but again, are they just being neighborly or are they hitting on you? As a woman, it's tiresome always having to talk to guys--our mailman kept trying to force me into conversation (this happened 3 times over the course of a day) and then lecturing me on why I wouldn't stop and chit chat (although I notice he never tries to talk to any of the men in the building). Dude, I don't know you. This is the city, and I don't speak to strange men.
Can't speak for any other culture, but, as a black man, we give each other the "black man nod" when we see each other walking down the street. We don't have to know each other, it's just understood, an "I see and recognize you brother" kind of thing. hispanics do it to a lesser extent(based on my experience), and white people don't do it at all. Not sure why..
I didn't read the whole thread but this def true, I do it with young hispanic guys as well once you make eye contact it's like proper urban manners to give the head nod. And I do notice most white guys don't do this I even had a white friend ask me why I say what up to these guys Idk.
But back to this thread I seen a documentary last year on American fear I forgot what it was called but these sociologist at Cornell did a study to find which groups of ppl are most afraid of strangers. I remember they said White people are usually a lot more fearful of strangers regardless of race than other groups of ppl.
I didn't read the whole thread but this def true, I do it with young hispanic guys as well once you make eye contact it's like proper urban manners to give the head nod. And I do notice most white guys don't do this I even had a white friend ask me why I say what up to these guys Idk.
But back to this thread I seen a documentary last year on American fear I forgot what it was called but these sociologist at Cornell did a study to find which groups of ppl are most afraid of strangers. I remember they said White people are usually a lot more fearful of strangers regardless of race than other groups of ppl.
Cornell or Cornel West? Sounds like a study that jackwagon would do. Can't stand that guy.
Cornell or Cornel West? Sounds like a study that jackwagon would do. Can't stand that guy.
No not Cornell West it was Cornell University I wish I remembered the name of the documentary i watch too many I can't keep track, but I agree with the study a lot of white ppl do seem afraid of strangers unless they live in a close knit community but a lot of times once you get to know these white ppl their some of the nicest ppl you'd ever meet.
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It's nothing personal
