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Old 01-31-2012, 11:39 AM
 
22 posts, read 21,537 times
Reputation: 11

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Hello New Yorkers,

Am helping a young friend who has no time to do his own search to find a therapist. The friend wants the therapist to be

1. Male

2. Heterosexual

3. a Clinical Psychologist

4. married for decades, preferably to his first wife.

5. English-speaking

Thank you so much for your recommendations!
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Parkway,The Bronx
8,394 posts, read 19,664,519 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by owlgurl View Post
Hello New Yorkers,

Am helping a young friend who has no time to do his own search to find a therapist. The friend wants the therapist to be

1. Male

2. Heterosexual

3. a Clinical Psychologist

4. married for decades, preferably to his first wife.

5. English-speaking

Thank you so much for your recommendations!
Good luck.
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:51 AM
 
22 posts, read 21,537 times
Reputation: 11
Hmmm...

Thanks for your reply, BlueDog. I sure hope the situation is not that grim.

Best,
OG
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
7,917 posts, read 6,498,851 times
Reputation: 7103
Do a google search for those parameters. In the past, I was in the market for a marraige counselor and pro-marriage listings were quite common. After that, you'll probably have to physically call them to ask the other questions.

Personally, I'd find asking "Are you heterosexual?" a little tough to do. Might be taken the wrong way...
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,279,288 times
Reputation: 9177
Quote:
Originally Posted by owlgurl View Post
Hello New Yorkers,

Am helping a young friend who has no time to do his own search to find a therapist. The friend wants the therapist to be

1. Male

2. Heterosexual

3. a Clinical Psychologist

4. married for decades, preferably to his first wife.

5. English-speaking

Thank you so much for your recommendations!
Your friend is seeking a clinical pshychologist, not a marriage therapist, correct?
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,185 posts, read 26,506,670 times
Reputation: 9059
Are his intentions honorable?
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Old 01-31-2012, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 21,155,400 times
Reputation: 5033
Does your friend have insurance? If so then you might want to start by call the insurance company and seeing who is in their network, if applicable. At least it would give you a list to start with.
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:06 PM
 
22 posts, read 21,537 times
Reputation: 11
AirborneGuy, thank you for that term “pro-marriage.” Never would have thought to use it as a search term..and it worked! And, yes, asking “the question” is discomfiting both for me and for the askee. Thank you for replying.


Bellekin123, yes, a Clinical Psych to help him with his own issues that are flaring as a result of being married. He would like the counsel of an older-wiser whose experience of having stayed married is an excellent credential. Friend and his wife know they also need couples counseling. Thank you for replying.

KefirKing, thank you for the chuckle

Christina001, yes, thank you--a great place to start. And also just spoke with a former counselor who told me about the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “Requirements for membership are as rigorous as for licensing,” this person told me. So now I am cross-referencing their listings with the insurance listing.

I’ve also scoured Angie’s list and have posted to CraigsList forum

But of course, none of these listings will tell me if a man is a longtime married het.

So was hoping someone could give me names based on their own experience.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your replies!

OG
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,279,288 times
Reputation: 9177
Quote:
Originally Posted by owlgurl View Post
AirborneGuy, thank you for that term “pro-marriage.” Never would have thought to use it as a search term..and it worked! And, yes, asking “the question” is discomfiting both for me and for the askee. Thank you for replying.


Bellekin123, yes, a Clinical Psych to help him with his own issues that are flaring as a result of being married. He would like the counsel of an older-wiser whose experience of having stayed married is an excellent credential. Friend and his wife know they also need couples counseling. Thank you for replying.

KefirKing, thank you for the chuckle

Christina001, yes, thank you--a great place to start. And also just spoke with a former counselor who told me about the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “Requirements for membership are as rigorous as for licensing,” this person told me. So now I am cross-referencing their listings with the insurance listing.

I’ve also scoured Angie’s list and have posted to CraigsList forum

But of course, none of these listings will tell me if a man is a longtime married het.

So was hoping someone could give me names based on their own experience.

Thank you so much, everyone, for your replies!

OG
But why can't a woman help him? I understand that he would prefer that the therapist be married, but why must it be a man? why must it be any of his demands at all? He's looking for a therapist because of all the other stuff due to the marriage. I think professional credentials are what would make me choose a therapist or psychologist, especially since he's seeking therapy for what the marital problems are causing him mentally. Does he feel that an older wise man happily married for 45 years will take his side? Honestly, I don't see how the personal credentials he's looking for will be publicly available to him.
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Old 02-01-2012, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Pflugerville
2,211 posts, read 3,997,377 times
Reputation: 2227
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
But why can't a woman help him? I understand that he would prefer that the therapist be married, but why must it be a man? why must it be any of his demands at all? He's looking for a therapist because of all the other stuff due to the marriage. I think professional credentials are what would make me choose a therapist or psychologist, especially since he's seeking therapy for what the marital problems are causing him mentally. Does he feel that an older wise man happily married for 45 years will take his side? Honestly, I don't see how the personal credentials he's looking for will be publicly available to him.
They won't. Unless the therapist chooses to divulge most of these personal tidbits about themselves (something therapists don't tend to do) then he will ever know. The criterion they are judging a therapist buy quite frankly makes no sense. Therapists are trained to assist everyone. There wouldn't be much of a therapy industry if EVERY therapist had to be just like you or had to represent the ideals you wished to acheive. Saying that you only want a straight, married for mulitple years, etc etc etc therapist leads me to believe that you aren't very serious about getting help. It seems like you are looking for excuses to not have to see a therapist. "Well sure honey, we can get some couples therapy, BUT....the therapist has to be a 5th generational straight aborigine named Dave whose favorite color is purple and he likes slow jazz.".

But hey, to each their own.
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