Should I leave the city? (the whole city)

[livingsinglenyc]

And your sure it's not just you or perhaps you personality that bouncers don't like. I go out to literally all the clubs here with "black" friends. And not one has ever had an issue. Yes, even at LAVO! In fact many of the promoters that work for the clubs, that get tables and bottles are "black"....I'm just saying you may see it as a race thing when really it's just you. And you never answered, do you go out alone, in a group, with girls, boys because that right there could also be a big part of it.

[john_starks]

sound's fishy, or you're not meant for nyc

i say move on..

[gen. specific]

Originally Posted by livingsinglenyc

And your sure it's not just you or perhaps you personality that bouncers don't like. I go out to literally all the clubs here with "black" friends. And not one has ever had an issue. Yes, even at LAVO! In fact many of the promoters that work for the clubs, that get tables and bottles are "black"....I'm just saying you may see it as a race thing when really it's just you. And you never answered, do you go out alone, in a group, with girls, boys because that right there could also be a big part of it.

yeah yeah this is the same kind of rationalizations I see on other forums when anyone mentions some kind of possible discrimination

unfortunately I didn't take a hidden camera with me, photograph my attire, bring a lawyer as a witness. I'll remember to next time

I did mention in another post that I've gone out with every kind of me+combination you could imagine and that I know how the promoter/bouncer game is supposed to work. I don't feel compelled to expand upon that, some people get a chance to see the discrimination, some don't.

I know the order of which type of people they are supposed to let in and know to expect problems if I showed up by myself. Oh, and I would never show up with me and another male. Aside from that there's not going to be the kind of evidence you'd need for a Federal court case, so you can keep your preconceived notions about how 'your black friend' doesn't have these problems so it must not happen to other people dressed like him.

It doesn't matter what promoters are or how they dress, bouncers have no say in letting them in.

EDIT: just from explaining it I realize these problems aren't problems, thanks for the insight everyone!

[cyrusjul]

Maybe is not because you are Black but maybe you are not 'attractive' enough? In some clubs if Bouncers think you are not 'Good Looking' they tend to reject you. Maybe you are not an attractive guy or if you really are, then maybe you are just not dressing 'appropriate' for that particular Club? I am not much of a club scene person but that is the stories I hear with some of these clubs in NYC.

[Kefir King]

Choose different Clubs.

[Hieronymus Bosch]

Originally Posted by gen. specific

okay I want to believe that my general demeanor and attire will keep me from being frisked (smdh that this is really a concern), and so this reinforces that idea... but I have a feeling that if I look hard enough for the exception I'll find it (I really want to not care though, but its being shoved in my face at this point)

A common thing I do notice with these random frisks is that the people often do have marijuana on them. I'm not interested in drugs, but I know that lots of people have a stash!

And there's half the point of stop-and -frisk right there. A weed charge is worth a lot of money to the city, especially if they manage to finnagle it into "public view." And weed has been a part of these communities for a very long time.

[UrbanAdventurer]

Originally Posted by gen. specific

Thanks for that perspective.

Yes, my first world problems are negligible. But until NYC, I could say a name or pay the same cover as everyone else and get into any trendy establishment anywhere. So to come to the center of the civilized world and find out that its segregated that way, I'm taken back a little. I hope you can see that perspective too. I've met some really amazing people here and can completely ignore the club scene, but I'll still think it is insane that kind of classic segregation is "institutionalized" here.

There you go; ignore the club scene and appreciate all the other great stuff the city offers a young guy with a few bucks in his pocket. I've been surprised myself on occasion by doorman bs and I'm a clean cut white guy. And not just in NY either...one time this douche working the door at a trendy place in Dallas wouldn't let me in (solo...I was there for business). It's always something when you're a dude. Not dressed well enough, No ladies, too black/hispanic/whatever, Etc. Most of these places are stupid anyway.

[SuperCaliFragalistic]

Originally Posted by gen. specific

I know, I was just hoping someone in this open forum could relate and mention their experience

Unfortunately, the bigotry is practiced everywhere. Im in LA and i get terrible treatment because Im multicultural and I refuse to pick a side. Im asain and latino. Bouncers size me up amd assume im a weak submissive asain man. I almost always have to wait double time for to past the velvet rope. Obviously, you know that LA is overwhelming Mexican. I get 2nd class treatment by them bc they assume ( based on my looks) that Im a rich trust fund asain ( when im F***n Half mexican!) Sorry to rant bit i thpught id just point out that Im with you on spirit from sunny douchebag LA.. Lol

[queensgrl]

This is an interesting dilemma.

I guess it all depends on how important clubbing is to you in the context of everything else in your life.

Maybe my priorities are different because I have found enjoyment in many different activities in NYC. There's so much available here where you would be welcomed with open arms. And, stay out of areas where black males are likely to be stopped -- It already sounds to me like you don't frequent those places so (not to say that it will NEVER happen) but the likelihood is lower.

If clubbing is so much a part of your life and you aren't interested in finding different entertainment to replace clubbing, then you may be disappointed. However, it sounds like you have good employment and live well.

Please tell us, what other places in the world have 1) minimal stop and frisk against black males; 2) clubs the scale of NYC's that would always let you in; 3) employment opportunities on the level of what you have now; and 4) a living situation comparable to what you have now?

I think to find everything you want anywhere is not likely. For generations, we (black professional people) have learned to take the good with the bad, and we've found happiness.

P.S. -
Might I also add that NYC clubs discriminate based on age as well. This was not always the case. There was a time when NYC had a variety of nice (neither "'hood" nor "ghetto") venues that catered to all kinds of people. We went out, had fun. PERIOD.

I am a bit disappointed that the nightlife here has become so persnickety to eliminate so called "undesirables" from the scene completely.

[jdm267]

Originally Posted by gen. specific

yeah yeah this is the same kind of rationalizations I see on other forums when anyone mentions some kind of possible discrimination

unfortunately I didn't take a hidden camera with me, photograph my attire, bring a lawyer as a witness. I'll remember to next time

I did mention in another post that I've gone out with every kind of me+combination you could imagine and that I know how the promoter/bouncer game is supposed to work. I don't feel compelled to expand upon that, some people get a chance to see the discrimination, some don't.

I know the order of which type of people they are supposed to let in and know to expect problems if I showed up by myself. Oh, and I would never show up with me and another male. Aside from that there's not going to be the kind of evidence you'd need for a Federal court case, so you can keep your preconceived notions about how 'your black friend' doesn't have these problems so it must not happen to other people dressed like him.

It doesn't matter what promoters are or how they dress, bouncers have no say in letting them in.

EDIT: just from explaining it I realize these problems aren't problems, thanks for the insight everyone!

You're right, these aren't real problems.

It sounds as if you are making a decision to stay or leave a city because bouncers aren't capitvated by you being black, wealthy, educated and living downtown. No one cares.

You can move to any city you want, but as long as you continue to be an uninteresting person, people will see through your superficial "problems".