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Here is the honest truth; If you have "game" or a good amount of confidence you will have no problem meeting women. If you are shy, insecure and come on too strong you will have trouble meeting women. Your approach says a lot to them and if you make a mistake they'll turn the other way and you've lost your chance.
It's that simple. I will admit, NY is a bit more challenging than other cities but it comes down to the individual and how he goes about trying to meet women.
Here is the honest truth; If you have "game" or a good amount of confidence you will have no problem meeting women. If you are shy, insecure and come on too strong you will have trouble meeting women. Your approach says a lot to them and if you make a mistake they'll turn the other way and you've lost your chance.
It's that simple. I will admit, NY is a bit more challenging than other cities but it comes down to the individual and how he goes about trying to meet women.
@ people who think meeting women is hard in NY: have you had better luck in other cities?
I know of a couple of guys who are not native to NYC but come from other parts of America, both guys told me that meeting women in NYC is hard compared to where they were from, both locals and Transplants gave them a nod, for one being white and up in the air well to do not fit with majority of noneducated noncareerist local women regardless of race unless if she is a go getter which quite a few women in the hood are, Transplant women did not like the fact that these guys were short and were rejected because of physique even thouogh they are not fat. I told them you have to put yourselves out there. One of the guys told me that NYC is similar to SF and DC when it comes to meeting women. From my experience meeting women outside of NYC is more easy because the women are less reserved. a Couple of months ago, I was walking through Hartsfield international Airport and I meet a woman who is was traveling to my destination, she was 49 years old , I chatted with her for a few, she asked where I was going, we were going to the same destination offered me to sleep at her place after our flight lands in TX. She said she wanted to show me a good time when I'm in Austin. But she was a bit too old for my taste and probably an dying breed of hippies, it just seemed to odd, but was flattered to say yes and declined. This is the 2nd time just walking through that Airport were I was able to meet women on the fly and get something going. I also had experiences in places like South Jersey, upstate, in the South, American Southwest, in all these places meeting women were just a bit more easy. The only place I did not try was the West Coast and Midwest because I never traveled there before. But I was told to avoid SF. The best place to meet women that's not to far from NYC is Atlantic City from my experience, a good portion of the woman are late 30/early 40 something and divorced, looking for a young to be with!
Quote:
Originally Posted by deeken
Here is the honest truth; If you have "game" or a good amount of confidence you will have no problem meeting women. If you are shy, insecure and come on too strong you will have trouble meeting women. Your approach says a lot to them and if you make a mistake they'll turn the other way and you've lost your chance.
It's that simple. I will admit, NY is a bit more challenging than other cities but it comes down to the individual and how he goes about trying to meet women.
I agree. Plenty of truth to this, one is going to have to put himself out there to make up for any shortcomings like money, looks, physique and status the things that inhibits them from initially meeting women, even thouogh many independent women don't really care how much a guy makes, or where he lives or where or who he lives with. I knew of an obese guy, has trouble walking up the stairs but he has a loving girlfriend nonetheless. Another guy, not good looking, does not have a job but he plays a ukulele and he picks up women. Another thing is for guys not to be introverted. Being extroverted and thinking worldly may help. Good amount of confidence and putting yourself out there counts in a big way, and women here will take notice. Once you get one woman on your arm, other woman will flock to you, this is one of the things I hated about dating in NYC.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 07-10-2013 at 04:23 PM..
All the stuff about how much money one makes is way overrated by guys. There are plenty of guys with modest salaries that have hot girlfriends in NYC. It's a cop out.
Secondly, the clothing thing - also overrated. I'm a decent dresser but the single thing I have noticed that has increased my attractiveness to women in New York is when I am in a good mood. If I'm feeling good about my life and having a ball women are all over me. There have been times when I've been positive about my work and on the subway listening to my favorite music and literally everywhere I turn there is a gorgeous girl staring at me like I'm what she's been missing in her life - Im not kidding. Its like i can feel their eyes boring into me. Then if i talk to one of them, invariably it goes great, unless they might have a boyfriend already or something. Unfortunately no matter how good shape my body is in, how stylish my outfit is, how perfect my hair is, if I'm not in a good mood and not feeling good about my life, my attractiveness goes WAY down. Almost like I've gone from a 9 to a 2! It's uncanny. Unlike men, women's attraction to the opposite sex seems to be highly based upon a man's emotional state. Whereas a man will will look at a woman's bone structure, figure, hair, body and not even pay attention to where she's at emotionally and decide if she's hot or not.
If your emotional state is confident, optimistic, loving life, it doesn't matter THAT MUCH what your'e wearing or what you make - women will be attracted to you. You have to recognize when this is happening and then just say something to them - it doesn't really matter what you say. It's usually better for them to be attracted to you first, and then you say something because if you just cold approach they will go into defensive reflex mode. So have them size you up and check you out first, then say something. The way it works is in their mind, they have to go "Hmm, he's a cute guy" and make that decision themselves, then when you talk to them it's "A cute guy is talking to me!" rather than if you just blindside them "Some strange guy is talking to me!" is the first thing they register and they go into defensive/protective mode...
Too many women have this idea that is better to not have kids because it would eat up a good portion of their salary. They meet up with friends who all make six figure salaries, pulls a calculator and comes to the decision that they cant pave their road to adulthood with glitter and gold so its best not having any because the poor thing would suffer. Im not an advocate for bringing children to life of poverty but some career fixated materialistic 35 year old barbie dolls takes this way too far. And the biological clock keeps on running...from a dating perspective its best to avoid women with a mindset like this she might chop of your nuts while you sleep.
Because the confident, attractive, self assured men have learned the futility of long term relationships.
A woman becomes attracted to a man because of his confidence and attractiveness. They date for a couple years. The woman encourages the good man to move in with her. He does this with the intent that this will last. He goes to work, helps with domestic responsibilities, is faithful, appreciates the relationship and subconsciously becomes nice all of the time.
The woman loses her respect for the man because he is too nice. She now wants an a$$hole. She becomes resentful. The man becomes resentful because he made personal sacrifices for a relationship that the woman no longer appreciates. They fight. The relationship ends and is painful for the man.
He vowes never to repeat. A year passes and the man repeats the process with another woman. That relationship ends.
The good man reaches the conculsion that it is more fulfilling and less stressful to be himself and have multiple casual encounters with no emotional involvement. Women complain that there are no good men.
This has happened to me twice now verbatim. And that's why I'm moving to nyc, to be single and work.
I have pretty much given up on the dating scene, marriage, kids. Might as well just rotate a few f?ck buddies and keep the career in the front seat. It's not a happy way of travel but eventually you just numb yourself out. The more infertile you get, the more apathetic. Men don't understand how much it costs for a woman to maintain herself, seem oblivious to our emotions and basically as objects. Not a good starting point for a LTR. It doesn't mean you're a materialistic Barbie just because you demand better. Most women don't ask for ENOUGH.
I have pretty much given up on the dating scene, marriage, kids. Might as well just rotate a few f?ck buddies and keep the career in the front seat. It's not a happy way of travel but eventually you just numb yourself out. The more infertile you get, the more apathetic. Men don't understand how much it costs for a woman to maintain herself, seem oblivious to our emotions and basically as objects. Not a good starting point for a LTR. It doesn't mean you're a materialistic Barbie just because you demand better. Most women don't ask for ENOUGH.
Most women don't want men who care about this stuff. Remember, those guys are "too nice."
So, looking at the consensus, there are lots of women in NYC that are under 24 years if age, and most are decently attractive, which sounds like heaven coming from e Pitts of Connecticut after a year living there. Awesome.
Does anyone know what's the best area to go with the best girl:guy ratio? I'm a born and raised New Yorker, but moved Upstate for college, relocated after graduating, and know little about the nightlife scene in the city, so some direction would be awesome!
Also,some comments suggested that women in the city have more of a guard. Does that mean an honest approach is impossible? I'm not a player, but I've read up on the subject. I've learned in college that the best "approach" is just to be yourself, but just with super confidence. Go, introduce, firm handshake, ask why they're at the venue, and move on to phone number.
Does this not work in the city, since even in bars they're afraid of being picked up by someone with bad intentions?
I ask because I hate being fake to people, and don't like "picking up" drunk people. The one time I did, I felt like a d!ck, since she didn't want to do it, but was too drunk to know what was really going on(most likely she was a RA, so she could of gotten into big trouble). I was a freshmen (and underage...shhh...), and had no idea she was drunk till the morning after. Ever since then, I always go for phone numbers and try to form a relationship before getting to that stage.
Thanks!
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