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Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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I'm from the south and the only place I didn't feel like a freak was NYC . People in NYC seem much nicer than people in the south to me (actually me), I don't know why
How do you get to be 21+ years old and still think that people like you are "regular folk" and others are weird and scary? That's how small children think.
They told me that I was the best student in my High School class and I was rewarded by a full scholarship to collge. In college I excelled and got a 4.0 at the University of GA and a degree in Accounting. Many employers expressed interest in me and eventually I went to work for one of the large BIG 4 Accounting firms. They said they needed me in their huge office in New York City and like a good solider I accepted their offer and took a job in Manhattan in NYC.
I am miserable in New York City!
It is a mess here and most people are so harsh and unfriendly. I miss the southern hostility of Athens GA. I miss small talk with people in public, smiles from grocery clerks, I miss people who like to hunt, fish and camp, I miss yards with big trees and grass.
But what really can't stand about living in New York City is the attitude so many of the people have here. The brashness, the ego, the rudeness and how many people treat anyone outside of their circle like they don't exist. People won't look you in the eye even if they have business with you. There is a feeling of mistrust. I walk the streets and it seems like everyone looks so beaten down and tired. I see it in their eyes. Lots of lonley people. I don't see as many people with their family and everyone is in a hurry. They talk fast and walk fast.
I can understand why. There is over 10 million people here, many with their own agenda and everyone seems to be in their own little clique. Every person breaks down into their own ethic group, social group, economic group, age group, hip factor group, fashion group, etc. Everyone else is invisible.
Back in Athens GA most people came from a similar mind set, spoke English, were long term Americans and were middle class. While we all had our differences in personality, we were enough alike and shared a bond through culture, language and southern hospitality that I had an easy time making friends and chatting with regular folks like me.
Anyone else just overwhelmed by New York and want out?
How do you get to be 21+ years old and still think that people like you are "regular folk" and others are weird and scary? That's how small children think.
I think that's how a lot of people think !
I observed this many times when traveling in the US.
It is a mess here and most people are so harsh and unfriendly. I miss the southern hostility of Athens GA. I miss small talk with people in public, smiles from grocery clerks, I miss people who like to hunt, fish and camp, I miss yards with big trees and grass.
But what really can't stand about living in New York City is the attitude so many of the people have here. The brashness, the ego, the rudeness and how many people treat anyone outside of their circle like they don't exist. People won't look you in the eye even if they have business with you. There is a feeling of mistrust. I walk the streets and it seems like everyone looks so beaten down and tired. I see it in their eyes. Lots of lonley people. I don't see as many people with their family and everyone is in a hurry. They talk fast and walk fast.
I can understand why. There is over 10 million people here, many with their own agenda and everyone seems to be in their own little clique. Every person breaks down into their own ethic group, social group, economic group, age group, hip factor group, fashion group, etc. Everyone else is invisible.
Back in Athens GA most people came from a similar mind set, spoke English, were long term Americans and were middle class. While we all had our differences in personality, we were enough alike and shared a bond through culture, language and southern hospitality that I had an easy time making friends and chatting with regular folks like me.
Anyone else just overwhelmed by New York and want out?
When I first moved to NYC eons ago (mid 1990's) after college graduation, I was so hopeful! I was born and raised in a state where the people are so warm, friendly, and nice. That was all I knew. Fast forward to NYC, the people were so cold, harsh, rude, and what really caught me off guard was the snobbishness due to my accent. I was often cut off mid-sentence with "are you from the SOUTH?" But it was in a tone of utter contempt as if I'd been caught stealing cars or creating fake IDs for cash. To top if off, it seemed that 98% of everyone I met was from another country so I missed being around Americans and the American culture so much. There is an unspoken commonality that Americans share have which doesn't transfer to immigrants, even if they're nice people. As you said, shared bond through culture,language, and southern hospitality. Another thing that shocked me about NYC was the large GHETTO CLASS. It appears to cover about 95% of the Black population in NYC and 95.2% of the spanish speaking population. (I say this as an African-American woman). Experiencing such a large ghetto class gave me a word picture of what the term third-world means. Unlike other cities in the US, in NYC you live in total absence of general interaction with the middle class.
I took "middle class" for granted growing up but when I moved to NYC, I found out that "middle class in NYC" is only for immigrants that live together (with at least 5+ working family members in the home), second generation immigrants primarily from European countries (Italian, Irish, Jewish whose parents scraped and scrabble to make it for the next generation), or the WASPS (from inherited wealth or landed a high-paying job and met a like-minded person and they married). However, the WASPS have little to no personal interaction with the other aforementioned groups. I was very overwhelmed after moving to NYC! It took years for me to finally find my niche. I've been there so long now, almost as long as I was in my home state, that it now feels like home to me but it took many years for me to get to this point. Luckily for me, I landed a job soon after moving to NYC that involved extensive travel so I got a chance to often go back to the "American culture" in other cities. Strangely, that helped me to take NYC in smaller dosages when I'd return.
May I suggest that you give it another year or so and if things don't change, I'd suggest moving to a true "American" city because New York is the "city of immigrants" and that's not going to change anytime soon. As such, the flavor is very different and not for everyone. While it's nice to experience for a few years, most American's move back to PA, OH, NC, SC, VA, FL, GA, AL, AZ, NM, MO, CA or other states when they're ready to raise their family and enjoy a middle class American life (although it's shrinking like crazy due to the economy it's still more prevalent in other cities than it is in NYC) and give their children the type of life they had growing up. Regardless of race or ethnicity, people who don't have ancestry in the USA for at least over four generations back probably can't relate to what I'm saying.
When I first moved to NYC eons ago (mid 1990's) after college graduation, I was so hopeful! I was born and raised in a state where the people are so warm, friendly, and nice. That was all I knew. Fast forward to NYC, the people were so cold, harsh, rude, and what really caught me off guard was the snobbishness due to my accent. I was often cut off mid-sentence with "are you from the SOUTH?" But it was in a tone of utter contempt as if I'd been caught stealing cars or creating fake IDs for cash. To top if off, it seemed that 98% of everyone I met was from another country so I missed being around Americans and the American culture so much. There is an unspoken commonality that Americans share have which doesn't transfer to immigrants, even if they're nice people. As you said, shared bond through culture,language, and southern hospitality. Another thing that shocked me about NYC was the large GHETTO CLASS. It appears to cover about 95% of the Black population in NYC and 95.2% of the spanish speaking population. (I say this as an African-American woman). Experiencing such a large ghetto class gave me a word picture of what the term third-world means. Unlike other cities in the US, in NYC you live in total absence of general interaction with the middle class.
I took "middle class" for granted growing up but when I moved to NYC, I found out that "middle class in NYC" is only for immigrants that live together (with at least 5+ working family members in the home), second generation immigrants primarily from European countries (Italian, Irish, Jewish whose parents scraped and scrabble to make it for the next generation), or the WASPS (from inherited wealth or landed a high-paying job and met a like-minded person and they married). However, the WASPS have little to no personal interaction with the other aforementioned groups. I was very overwhelmed after moving to NYC! It took years for me to finally find my niche. I've been there so long now, almost as long as I was in my home state, that it now feels like home to me but it took many years for me to get to this point. Luckily for me, I landed a job soon after moving to NYC that involved extensive travel so I got a chance to often go back to the "American culture" in other cities. Strangely, that helped me to take NYC in smaller dosages when I'd return.
May I suggest that you give it another year or so and if things don't change, I'd suggest moving to a true "American" city because New York is the "city of immigrants" and that's not going to change anytime soon. As such, the flavor is very different and not for everyone. While it's nice to experience for a few years, most American's move back to PA, OH, NC, SC, VA, FL, GA, AL, AZ, NM, MO, CA or other states when they're ready to raise their family and enjoy a middle class American life (although it's shrinking like crazy due to the economy it's still more prevalent in other cities than it is in NYC) and give their children the type of life they had growing up. Regardless of race or ethnicity, people who don't have ancestry in the USA for at least over four generations back probably can't relate to what I'm saying.
So sick of hearing about this middle class problem. The middle class is a byproduct of industrialisation and requires a significant manufacturing sector that has departed from most cities (thus the rich vs poor dichotomy in New York, San Francisco et al). We're a service economy, so get used to it even more. But I digress…
The fact of the matter is that this is a gross overgeneralisation. I'm a native New Yorker and have four generations of Americans in my family (all New Yorkers as well), but wouldn't have it any other way. New York is a lifestyle adjustment and some people aren't willing or are unable to make it. I feel bad because they're missing out on a unique, eye-opening and incredible place to live, but ultimately if they can't deal with New York it's not the place for them. To say, though, that the cited reasons are the causes of Sunbelt movement is untrue. It boils down to weather and finance. While I'll never understand the former (four seasons are awesome), relatively high taxation and insane housing and cost of living levels make people feel like they'll get more bang for their buck in the South. And although I could never move to auto-centric, cookie-cutter subdivisions down South, I understand the feeling of going broke all the time.
Absolutely. Where as native New Yorkers will break your balls right away and test for weakness constantly but at the end of the day, under the tough exterior, they are some of the most good hearted people I've ever met.
That's part of the problem -- why should a person move to an American city and have someone "break your balls" or "test for weakness"? There is no logical reason for one citizen to do this to a new citizen unless the tester is a sociopath seeking their next victim. Not to mention, testing for weakness is characteristic of "prison culture". Perhaps that explains why NYC provides an entire cottage industry for upstate prisons. On another note, I concur that under the exterior there are many good heart people in NYC (but I didn't experience this reality until after living there for many, many years.
Absolutely. Where as native New Yorkers will break your balls right away and test for weakness constantly but at the end of the day, under the tough exterior, they are some of the most good hearted people I've ever met.
That's part of the problem -- why should a person move to an American city and have someone "break your balls" or "test for weakness"? There is no logical reason for one citizen to do this to a new citizen unless the tester is a sociopath seeking their next victim. Not to mention, testing for weakness is characteristic of "prison culture". Perhaps that explains why NYC provides an entire cottage industry for upstate prisons. On another note, I concur that under the exterior there are many good heart people in NYC (but I didn't experience this reality until after living there for many, many years.
"Cottage industry for upstate prisons"? You realise that New York City has the lowest crime rate of any major city, so much so that it barely registers on a per capita basis, even if you inflated it for the NYPD revisions. And that has nothing to do with tough New Yorkers, since that mostly has to do with very work-oriented living. Maybe New Yorkers just don't like to put up with crap since they deal with enough every day and live in a pressure cooker? We love it, but sometimes it gets to be a lot.
what really caught me off guard was the snobbishness due to my accent. I was often cut off mid-sentence with "are you from the SOUTH?" But it was in a tone of utter contempt as if I'd been caught stealing cars or creating fake IDs for cash. To top if off, it seemed that 98% of everyone I met was from another country so I missed being around Americans and the American culture so much..
You're saying that all these people who were not from the US were identifying your regional US Southern accent and hassling you about it? Very strange.
It's funny seeing/hearing NYers completely dog one of their fellow countrymen from the south - or any other area of the USA - for having an opinion on another culture or nationality.. however, not say shizz to another person from a different culture or nationality when those people bad mouth the US, our government or the American people..
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Yes, I felt that way at first
