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I am making good money but single, about to turn 32, and concerned about whether I will ever achieve long-term stability. I make 72K per year after taxes right now, no previous marriages or kids. My career is going well, I just secured several new contracts and will be in Paris and Tokyo next year. But my apartment is small and I go home to it alone, feeling a void. My family is halfway across the country. I don't mean to sound dramatic but what do you do when you are in this situation? I just can't seem to find a decent guy, they all cheat and lie and treat me like garbage. And now that I'll spend a few months on the other side of the planet, it truly feels hopeless. I should be happy. Where are the decent guys?
Well, there's many options. You could move across the country to where your family is, if that will make you happier.
If you want to stay here, while you look for a husband, do more things socially. Organizations, events, clubs, bars. Too many people move to NYC just to work mad hours and then go home and do nothing. But what's the point of moving here if you can't participate in things socially? The right kind of socialization could take your income to the next level big time.
You should live where you will be happy. 72k per year, if you live in New York, I guess is ok but depends on demographics. 50k a year in a southern state for example is probably better then the 72k in NY. As far as marriage, and kids and such you would want to live where you and you're family could maintain a good quality of life, kids are in a safe area, and there are family things to do. I was born in New York and now live in the south and really don't miss up there at all. Tired of all the fake, drama, and expense. The world is a big place and there is lots of opportunities out there, I would go explore a little.
I just don't know where to begin though. I can't do 'speed dating' and cringe at the thought of singles' events. I am very outgoing professionally but in my private life quite the opposite. I am scared at the thought of being 40, alone and childless. It seems to be okay for men but for me it is terrifying.
Well you maybe a career woman who is not ready for a family commitment at this time. NY is all about flash and social circles, the young professional crowd go to places like NY and such because of the opportunities places like that present. My parents moved me out of NY when I was 14 so I haven't lived there in many years. I live in a small country town in Virginia now and I like it. Washington DC is enough city for me, that place is turning into a miniature version of NYC.
It is very difficult, I don't think most people realize. I am now backstage at Gucci as an assistant. These things are only a dream back home. I am beautiful, why can't one of these city men marry me? I know why, because I am too old and they can have much thinner, younger versions. Or Ivy educated women. I am neither. My last boyfriend left me with nothing, went on to the next younger one. He ages and grows more attractive. Me, left to rot.
I would say if you are warm, down to earth, and don't confuse you're professional life with you're personal one you most likely will meet the right guy to start a family with. I'm not sure what field you are in but I know there has been many stories of women who once they start a family leave the work force behind. If you have a big corporate job there is no saying how long a position will last in this day and age. A husband and children can last a lifetime, jobs today can be gone with a blink of an eye. I left a big corporation to go work for a smaller family owned business and I have been real happy thus far. June 16th I will be married 20 years, my wife went to college but I was military and went to a tech school. I like working with my hands and such. It is nice to come home to you're own family, make a meal, have family movie nights and those sorts of things.
I would say if you are warm, down to earth, and don't confuse you're professional life with you're personal one you most likely will meet the right guy to start a family with. I'm not sure what field you are in but I know there has been many stories of women who once they start a family leave the work force behind. If you have a big corporate job there is no saying how long a position will last in this day and age. A husband and children can last a lifetime, jobs today can be gone with a blink of an eye. I left a big corporation to go work for a smaller family owned business and I have been real happy thus far. June 16th I will be married 20 years, my wife went to college but I was military and went to a tech school. I like working with my hands and such. It is nice to come home to you're own family, make a meal, have family movie nights and those sorts of things.
I can only wish for such things. I work in the fashion industry.
Well it seems you're first mistake is relying on a man. Most of NYC is fake into themselves superficial types. I think the biggest mistake people make is romanticizing NYC and the lifestyle there that maybe only 3% actually get to lead. NYC is just another place and it is also very cut throat and highly competitive. What you are seeking is stability, a husband, children, and if I'm not mistaken, a nice peaceful life. Those are good to inspire to, and in NYC you won't find any of it.
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