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Old 07-08-2013, 12:18 PM
 
4 posts, read 4,341 times
Reputation: 10

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Quote:
Something about this doesn't add up. He's most likely BS'ing you about himself. If this guy dates all these models, etc. I doubt he'd be trying to entice a plus size out of towner with promise of shopping sprees, etc. He's probably some nerd where his wealth is his go to line. There's no 'manhattan look.' Okay, maybe not walking around in jeans and running shoes, but there's not a specific look. I'd focus more on hitting the gym and getting your diet in check....it sounds like you will be much more comfortable in your own skin.
Thanks for your message. He might be BS'ing which I considered but I tend to not think so because he had a good friend with him on the trip which verified the information in conversation (without directly asking). I also saw pictures of him and his ex when his friend was showing me pictures of a previous group tour they did together. Also, FYI, I am hitting the gym every day so I will not be a "plus size out of towner" (encouraging adjectives you used there, BTW). I became "plus size" from a result of an extensive medical surgery.
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Old 07-08-2013, 04:24 PM
 
393 posts, read 642,587 times
Reputation: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by kumbamella63 View Post
Thanks for your message. He might be BS'ing which I considered but I tend to not think so because he had a good friend with him on the trip which verified the information in conversation (without directly asking). I also saw pictures of him and his ex when his friend was showing me pictures of a previous group tour they did together. Also, FYI, I am hitting the gym every day so I will not be a "plus size out of towner" (encouraging adjectives you used there, BTW). I became "plus size" from a result of an extensive medical surgery.
He could be bsing you and his friend. To me this sounds like the markings of a sociopatch who wants to take advantage of a newcomer. If a man ever told me he wants to take me shopping because he doesn't like my outfits, I'd question first his sexual preferences and then my own judgment. He is extremely wealthy, lives in Manhattan and his friends are models? Sounds like he himself sees that persona as a mark of success in NYC and he is trying to fake it till he makes it. I would ditch this guy immediately.
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Old 07-08-2013, 05:08 PM
 
26 posts, read 28,136 times
Reputation: 22
take your ownself shopping. he sounds as if he wants you to take him shopping using your funds
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Old 07-08-2013, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Queens, NYC
150 posts, read 214,530 times
Reputation: 93
Sounds like you found your sugar daddy.. lol just kidding

1) The way you make it sound: "This guy is extremely wealthy, and is a professional wardrobe consultant on the side." If this is indeed the case, then yes, most likely he is embarrassed. With the fact that he is this "professional wardrobe consultant", along with him stating that you need to dress "Manhattan" like, I would think one would be embarrassed since it sounds like his expectation is "high".
2) I laughed out loud..
3) There isn't necessarily a "style" in NYC. Most people dress however they want. By thinking over your post, it just seems like this "NYC/Manhattan style" the man keeps saying is just something "casual", or maybe flaunting some nice clothing and accessories (not too sure).
4) Dating is hard for women in NYC? Hmm, not too sure about that one. I guess it depends on standards, but I would think it's harder for men. Well.. Whether you're big, overweight, slim, petite, etc, everyone needs some loving.. - in other words, don't worry too much about this.

Overall, just be confident in yourself.. Nobody wants a woman nor man that's insecure (at least I don't).
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Old 07-08-2013, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
2,868 posts, read 4,044,390 times
Reputation: 5229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harlem resident View Post
I am a native and walk around in jeans and running shoes all of the time - always have.

The "Manhattan look" should be rightly defined as the "transplant look." They pick this up from "Sex in the City." You know, dress the part and you will be the part.

Whereas, most meaningful people here have better and far more interesting things to do than shop at Barney's every weekend.
I have to spread more rep around before I can rep you again Harlem Resident! You hit the nail on the head!
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Old 07-08-2013, 07:21 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
2,868 posts, read 4,044,390 times
Reputation: 5229
OP, if this is all for real and not a troll post then I say this guy is either BSing or a total insecure superficial jerk off!! Dump Him and quit beating yourself up and belittling who you are.

Your only an 8-10 since you gained 25 Lbs. I'm not really sure what 8-10 looks like but I'm assuming you got some some lady curves now and most men even if they don't admit it want a woman that looks curvy and sexy!

I have to wonder about dudes that think those skinny no butt model types are hot. Maybe they're not totally in to girls, most model types from behind look more like lanky teen age boys rather that a real woman.

Wear your new curves proudly and get a guy that appreciates who you are and accepts who you are. This jerk off is already trying to change you, you're only seeing the tip of the ice berg of this guy. Run, and run fast. They're a lot of real men out there that will appreciate you!
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Old 07-08-2013, 10:49 PM
 
4 posts, read 4,341 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for your responses, everyone! Greatly appreciated. Yes, I agree that he is most likely emberassed. Even though it is very superficial of him, I have been so paranoid when shopping now, questioning my style, and nervous about what people in NYC will think of my appearance... I know it's probably irrational but now it's stuck in my head. The next time he calls (which will most likely be tomorrow) I am going to confront him on this again. I'm going to say I talked to a couple friends (which I have) who say they think he is embarassed. If he says he's not again, I'm going to ask why he wants to take me shopping then and why this is so important. I know I'm harping on this issue, I am just a little jolted that someone is embarassed of my appearance, never thought I looked that bad, and it just adds to the insecurity about the weight gain. I know I don't paint a glowing picture of him, but he does have some very nice aspects (aside from the $, if that's what you're thinking) and I don't want to blow him off unless I feel for sure that he is emberassed and trying to change me for that reason.

To makossa: I'm not trolling! I don't know why several people have suggested that. I don't even know how/why I would make up this kind of story..
To MK04- why did you lol at #2? I don't get it. Because he would inevitably know my size?

Thanks again!

Last edited by kumbamella63; 07-08-2013 at 11:05 PM..
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Old 07-09-2013, 04:07 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,174 posts, read 26,480,657 times
Reputation: 9049
YO,
He's GAY!
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Old 07-09-2013, 04:10 AM
 
1,745 posts, read 2,033,884 times
Reputation: 3678
Most wealthier men prefer thinner women. I've noticed this time and time again. So I completely understand being nervous about your weight. I used to be heavier, around a size 10 and have better dating options ever since I started exercising and paying attention to diet. I am not super skinny, about a size 4 now with a BMI of 20.5 (in the healthy range). Men pay more attention to me. And it doesn't matter if I'm in a $30 outfit from H & M or high-end designer. You can wear less expensive clothes and pull them off when you are slimmer. You can say this guy's a jerk but it's just what men want. I'm willing to bet if I was able to shed another 10 pounds my prospects would improve that much more. Sucks but it's true. I would stay away from this guy though. Sounds like a total control freak who won't be happy no matter what. He knows you're entering an unfamiliar environment and that gives him the upper hand automatically. Do you really want to be shoved around like that?
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Old 07-09-2013, 11:08 AM
 
393 posts, read 642,587 times
Reputation: 507
I'm still going with a sociopath preying on a naive newcomer angle. If he was embarrassed of the way you dress and as wealthy and connected in the fashion/modeling world as he says he is, he wouldn't bother with you. The type of people who walk around bragging about their wealth are likely super conceited (again in this case he would be dating a model from NYC) at best or scammers/fakers at worst. Don't believe everything people tell you. Some of them are super skilled pathological liars. Generally, if something about him doesn't add up pass and move on to the next. Plenty of them here.

Also - chill on the worrying about the way you look because in a city with millions of people nobody cares what you look like, and I mean nobody..at all. Style in Manhattan ranges from multi-thousand dollar furs to sneakers held together with garbage bags. Anything goes and no one cares.
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