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Old 07-16-2013, 09:32 AM
 
81 posts, read 141,190 times
Reputation: 51

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Ugh there is nothing worse than dudes on the street trying to talk to you. ESPECIALLY when you very clearly are wearing headphones. I'll let you in on a little "girl code": 99% of the time, wearing headphones on the street/ in the subway means LEAVE ME ALONE. If you violate this arrangement it means you clearly have poor judgement and nobody wants to date a man with poor judgement. Even if you are cute and wearing a suit.

If you want to meet girls, go to a book store or join a softball team or something.
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Old 07-16-2013, 10:27 AM
 
Location: USA
8,016 posts, read 9,082,912 times
Reputation: 3383
smh, son. who does that? if she isn't paying you any
mind, most likely she wants to keep it that way.


ridiculous.
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Old 07-16-2013, 10:37 AM
 
1,504 posts, read 1,924,694 times
Reputation: 2574
Meeting women in the city can be challenging but not impossible. As I wrote previously in another thread it helps a lot if you have game and a good amount of confidence. Also it wouldn't hurt to sometimes throw yourself out there for practice.

I don't think there is anything wrong with approaching a woman in public and trying to engage in a conversation. If she's not interested, thank her for her time and move on. I feel that some women would be flattered by you making an effort to talk to her and befriend her. Just remember there are a lot of single and lonely women in NY too.

I've talked to women on the Subway, parks, stores, etc. Some times they are not interested in the conversation so I just move on. You have to learn how to take rejection and move on without it bothering you. It used to really bother me but I realized I'm not going to win it all.

It helps a lot to have a fun/friendly personality. You need to keep the conversation going if she doesn't have much to say. Always smile a lot. If you are happy or look happy then will feel more comfortable around you.

At bars, if you are going solo I would suggest that you approach women in efforts to make friends with them. I would recommend that you approach them all and introduce yourself to them, then ask for all of their names and try to get to know them. It does not hurt to buy them a round. This does go a long way. Try to get to know them and don't be afraid to let them know you are solo and looking to make new friends. Women appreciate you making an effort. Sure, some don't but you move on from those women.

If none of these tactics don't work you should sign up for Match.com or eharmoney. A lot of my friends meet women this way. It removes all of the face to face introductions if that makes you uncomfortable.
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:14 AM
 
316 posts, read 466,737 times
Reputation: 571
You need to go to places like bookshops and coffee shops. Lots of girls are into yoga, try a class. Girls who are walking down the street with headphones in or talking on a cell phone do not want to be disturbed, period. Unless, of course you are very, very, very, good looking. If you are unbelievable handsome, you can get away with almost anything.
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:35 PM
 
3,245 posts, read 4,170,205 times
Reputation: 2538
Quote:
Originally Posted by deeken View Post
Just remember there are a lot of single and lonely women in NY too.
How many (if any!) are hoping for random men to approach them on the street?
Quote:
Originally Posted by photostoresheila View Post
If you are unbelievable handsome, you can get away with almost anything.
Let someone else (the woman!) decide just how handsome you are.
That's decided, by her approaching you!
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,275,462 times
Reputation: 9177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbrella Hero View Post
I recently moved to the city and want to meet more women. I think the bars/clubs are hard because theyre always with their friends and I am solo. I would prefer to ask women out during the day.

In Manhattan, on the street, I see single ladies in their twenties usually either on the phone or with earphones/headphones. That says, "Don't speak to me." It seems like the girls I want to speak with are the ones most likely to be playing a video game on their phone while walking or pretend talking on their phone. I hear about this street harassment but I wonder if that precludes a handsome guy in a suit from walking up to them and asking for a legit date?

I wanted to see how NYC women feel about a respectful, cold approach on the street? Is that street harassment or is it potentially a welcome exchange?
How do you know they're single?
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:59 PM
 
3,245 posts, read 4,170,205 times
Reputation: 2538
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
How do you know they're single?
They're alone?

(I'm reminded of the survey of women in Egypt about being sexually harassed in the street.
98% of western women, reported being harassed.
As for the local women, many of whom wear muslim attire ...
83% reported being harassed!
http://www.sfgate.com/default/articl...nt-3180417.php)

Last edited by bigjake54; 07-16-2013 at 03:07 PM..
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Old 07-16-2013, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Queens, New York City
470 posts, read 745,958 times
Reputation: 342
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjake54 View Post
They're alone?

(I'm reminded of the survey of women in Egypt about being sexually harassed in the street.
98% of western women, reported being harassed.
As for the local women, many of whom wear muslim attire ...
83% reported being harassed!
More Egyptian women reporting harassment - SFGate)
Yeah, sexual harassment is a problem in the Middle East. When I was in Syria (many years before the civil war), the women in my group were very frequently harassed. Some of them were touched VERY inappropriately in public places. The blondes were especially targeted. All of the women were very culturally aware, most had spent several working seasons (we were there for archaeology) in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East, and they all dressed modestly.

The culture is just different there.

Of course, my wife told me she experienced similar 'male attention' when she was in Rome (this was before we had met).

Being a man, I've never had to deal with anything like this, aside from one time when I was in college. Some guy, much older than me, followed me through the library and outside to where I was unlocking my bicycle. He made an overtly sexual comment when I got on the bike, and it definitely didn't make me feel flattered. I was already really creeped out when I first noticed him following me (took me a while to figure it out but then I started trying to lose him and it became very obvious what he was doing). I think that's the only time in my life I've ever felt what women must feel when they are cat-called and otherwise receive attention they really do not want from males.

I've had women and gay friends/acquaintances express attraction to me that was not reciprocated and it has never bothered me, especially not in the gut-wrenching way it did in the above account. I think it's the random approach from a stranger in public that is really weird and disturbing.
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Old 07-16-2013, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,275,462 times
Reputation: 9177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bremsstrahlung View Post
Yeah, sexual harassment is a problem in the Middle East. When I was in Syria (many years before the civil war), the women in my group were very frequently harassed. Some of them were touched VERY inappropriately in public places. The blondes were especially targeted. All of the women were very culturally aware, most had spent several working seasons (we were there for archaeology) in Syria and elsewhere in the Middle East, and they all dressed modestly.

The culture is just different there.

Of course, my wife told me she experienced similar 'male attention' when she was in Rome (this was before we had met).
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjake54 View Post
They're alone?

(I'm reminded of the survey of women in Egypt about being sexually harassed in the street.
98% of western women, reported being harassed.
As for the local women, many of whom wear muslim attire ...
83% reported being harassed!
More Egyptian women reporting harassment - SFGate)

I appreciate what both of you said, but what does that have to do with this topic? This is not Egypt or Syria

So based on the OP's assumption, any man I see walking down the street by himself during working hours or any other time of day, I should just assume he's single? LOL
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Old 07-16-2013, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Queens, New York City
470 posts, read 745,958 times
Reputation: 342
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
I appreciate what both of you said, but what does that have to do with this topic? This is not Egypt or Syria

So based on the OP's assumption, any man I see walking down the street by himself during working hours or any other time of day, I should just assume he's single? LOL
Sorry, I kind of brought it full circle with my edits. I tried, anyhow.

I think if I were a woman I'd probably make myself as unapproachable as possible, too. Sure, maybe every now and then a woman is approached by a guy she would like to be approached by, but what about the other 99 out of 100 times? Not worth it, I bet.
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