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This is more of a rant than a discussion topic. Sorry, but I just need to vent this somewhere:
I lived in Brooklyn for about four months last year, and during that time, I took an ass-kicking. I lost the job I moved there for, I got turned down for multiple other jobs after interviews, I got thrown out of my place by my terrible alcoholic roommate and had nowhere to stay besides a friend's couch, I came down with a bad case of pneumonia, and I went through a really nasty breakup of a (long-distance) relationship right after she had just agreed to come there to be with me.
I couldn't handle that much **** in a row and I got so depressed I could barely function. So I gave up, moved back to Florida, and stayed with my mom until I could find a full-time job and get back on my feet. I guess I'm doing OK now. I have a job that I love, even if the pay's awful, and my own cozy little studio apartment.
But, for reasons even I don't understand, I still love New York, and I regret giving up on it every day. I want to go back and try it all again. I've been a lifelong New Yorkophine, I'm bored out of my mind in Tampa, and I miss urban living, public transit, being able to go anywhere I wanted for a flat $112 a month, the diversity (of people, food, and architecture), skyscrapers, the changing seasons, the arts scene, dollar pizza, bodega sandwiches, and all the fascinating people I met there.
I've been trying to convince myself it's not worth it and I'm better off staying here where it's "safe," but for some reason, there still really is no place I'd rather live.
But that's insane, and I know it, especially since I know I'll probably never be able to afford it. And why would I "love" a place where I went through so much? Why the hell would any sane person want to go back and experience more horrible things?
"I miss urban living, public transit, the diversity (of people, food, and architecture) skyscrapers, the changing seasons, the arts scene, dollar pizza, bodega sandwiches, and all the fascinating people I met there."
People have a fascination with New York. I was born and raised an hour north of NYC in Putnam and for whatever reason I never felt that connected to NYC. Today I call Virginia home and you couldn't drag me out of here, I live in central Va. just outside Charlottesville and this place is just gorgeous with the mountains and all. New York is not the place I grew up in, albeit I'm not from the city. The saddest thing about New York is all the focus is on Manhattan and Brooklyn. Upstate New York is gorgeous by the mountains, the Thayer Hotel at West Point is beautiful, Bear Mountain Overlook is breathtaking. New York City is great when you're young, looking to establish a career right out of college, and are single. Once the job experience has been established and you're ready to start a family that's when its time to move on.
people have a fascination with new york. I was born and raised an hour north of nyc in putnam and for whatever reason i never felt that connected to nyc. Today i call virginia home and you couldn't drag me out of here, i live in central va. Just outside charlottesville and this place is just gorgeous with the mountains and all. New york is not the place i grew up in, albeit i'm not from the city. The saddest thing about new york is all the focus is on manhattan and brooklyn. Upstate new york is gorgeous by the mountains, the thayer hotel at west point is beautiful, bear mountain overlook is breathtaking. new york city is great when you're young, looking to establish a career right out of college, and are single. Once the job experience has been established and you're ready to start a family that's when its time to move on.
I actually agree about hating the focus on Manhattan and Brooklyn. And I've only been as far as northern Westchester, but I will agree that it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. (Along with parts of Virginia.) Next time I go, I'm setting my sights on outer Queens, the north Bronx, one of Brooklyn's further neighborhoods like Bensonhurst or Canarsie, or even Jersey if I can find a decent place with enough transit. I try to avoid the "cool" neighborhoods like the plague wherever I live. Who wants to live around business bros and hipsters, anyway?
In fact, I'd rather live further outside the city, but part of the reason I want to move there so badly is because I'm sick of cars. I hate having to spend an insane amount of money on payments, gas, and repairs just to get around. So wherever I end up moving, it has to be within walking distance of public transit.
I don't plan on having kids. Yeah, I know that's an extremely immature thing to say and I'll probably feel totally different when I meet "the right woman," but I'm very lukewarm about the idea of marriage, especially after that last relationship, and I have no dreams of ever being a dad.
(Despite what you might think on reading that, it's not because I want to chase some stupid dream of being a player or anything like that. It's actually because I love my work - I'm a writer/photographer - and want to devote my life to it, and I think it would be wrong to force a wife and kids to depend on someone who's taking such a risky path. But again, that will probably change if I meet the right person.)
Last edited by That Guy You Met Once; 10-12-2013 at 06:21 PM..
Well, maybe you can find another city that has a lot of what you like about NYC but possibly other things you like and less of the things you don't like. Maybe it's more Tampa just isn't a good fit and any bustling urban city would be good for you. The world's got a lot of great cities, NYC being one of them. Try a few of them out--especially if you want streets busy with people and a car being a luxury (or hassle) rather than a necessity as that's something not just NYC but many cities around the world and a few in the US to a more limited extent offer.
Have you looked into other cities? Some of the southern cities offer some of what you are looking for and are a lot less expensive then NYC. Charlotte NC, Jacksonville Fla, Columbia SC, DC, all though expensive as well, is still cheaper then NYC plus in Northern Va. you can ride the Metro all over the place. Atlanta used to be booming in the jobs market, they once called it "Hot-Lanta." I think with New York today it's just so outrageously high to live there, has a dipstick for a Mayor, and there is a huge divide between wealth. NYC seems to no longer have a middle, you either have the cash to afford the place or you don't. Anywhere else in the United Sates 65k a year is considered decent, but not in NYC.
For a lot of us, we don't necessarily want kids. I'm 32 now and would have left for good if children were going to be in my future. They are for most people, it's the natural cycle of life. That's why it's considered pretty much the norm to do NYC post-college and then bail once your career is established. It's just too expensive for most folks to raise children properly unless they leave the city entirely.
It really depends on what you are looking to get out of it. For me, I love having 24/7 public transit and not having to own a car. That is the second biggest reason I stay. The first is the amazing job opportunities and being in the country's capital for my industry. There is simply nowhere else in the United States where I have the kind of potential that I have here. Working with celebrities was something I never thought would happen for me until I got here. Now, it is a reality. I get to work with the very brightest and best the world has to offer. It is something I feel very blessed to have and know it comes with its prices.
The downside (for me) is working an insane amount of hours. Having to work when I'm sick. Having to work evenings and weekends. Paying an insanely high tax rate and rent. But those are the prices you pay. I offset a lot of the cost by moving further out. I now have space, albeit in a lackluster neighborhood. But the rent is affordable and my door-to-door commute is less than one hour. These are the kind of decisions you have to make. It may be worth it to stay for one person but not necessarily another. It is an amazing city though, despite all of its many flaws. I can see why so many people feel empty even with more creature comforts. Some things in life are worth more than comfort but that's up to you to figure out. You have to be prepared and serious. Not on some youth-extended 'adventure'. This is real life, it's not a script and if it was perfect everyone would live here.
Last edited by EastBoundandDownChick; 10-12-2013 at 06:57 PM..
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