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I agree. If the OP can't find her soulmate thru these activities then i don't know what. The answer is not London, it's not Paris, France and it's not Lubbock, TX. The answer is in your post.
[quote=NickNYR;31805331]The OP's view towards dating in NYC seems typical of "professional" transplant types.
As a 25 year old man I understand women are selective, and should be. However, it seems like the majority of college educated Midwestern transplants have unrealistic expectations when seeking a man in NYC. Every 20 something year old woman from the Midwest that moves to NYC with a liberal arts degree and thinks that earning $60,000 a year is going to open doors for them and solidify their place among Manhattan socialites seems to think they can custom build their dream man.
I hate to break it to ya ladies but this isn't Build-A-Bear and you're not 8 years old. You can't write a mile long list of requirements and expect to find a custom built man. Contrary to what modern feminism tells you, men are people and also have feelings and wants and needs. If you can't recognize that there are TWO people in a relationship then you're going to be lonely or end up in a marriage with a spineless wimp who will allow you to run his life because he's desperate and needy. Either way you'll be miserable.
Narcissistic personality disorder has become the standard with American women in their 20's. Being self absorbed and demanding is not attractive, and the high quality in demand "Alpha male" you all seek is going to steer clear of that.
Stop ruling out men because they're an inch or two too short. Stop demanding instant commitment. Realize that men have feelings and needs too. Realize its not entirely about you all the time.
Find a man that treats you well, but you gotta give to get. Princess complexes can take a hike.
*aaaaaaand here come the accusations of me being a misogynist, a loser, unable to get laid, etc etc.*
I'm just being realistic and giving you good advice without sugar coating.[/QUOTE
True. Some call it an epidemic. Narcissistic epidemic. And if you point this out or offer constructive critisism you are accused of being an unattractive, impotent creep loser misogynist. I love, cherish and adore women but am also so often nowadays disappointed by their as of lately increased wichy ways. Not all women are like this but sadly in NYC too many and their numbers are growing.
I don't live in NYC anymore but I keep in contact with old friends. I feel like the vast majority of them met their SO on match.com and yes these are women in their 20's and early 30's. Just based on what you've wrote here I see you making a lot of the mistakes that are common among successful women. You may want to check out Evan Marc Katz's blog and sign-up for his newsletter. He addresses a lot of the mistakes you are making.
I don't live in NYC anymore but I keep in contact with old friends. I feel like the vast majority of them met their SO on match.com and yes these are women in their 20's and early 30's. Just based on what you've wrote here I see you making a lot of the mistakes that are common among successful women. You may want to check out Evan Marc Katz's blog and sign-up for his newsletter. He addresses a lot of the mistakes you are making.
I can agree with this. More and more women are increasingly going online to find an LTR as of these days. If I'm not mistaken Okcupid is very popular amongst New York City women. I would like to make a profile myself but I still feel that it is more rewarding to meet someone real world than hooking up with someone online and taking it from their. The thing about the Op is that she is an hypergamist and probably prefers to date up instead of neutral which should be her ground base, also their are nice guys to that are probably below her level but she does not want that. The problem is that the city is filled with men that is not on her level, she probably is not shallow like native NYC women who only date guys for looks, bravado and image, but for the op its purely economics which we cant blame her. Plenty of women like her will end up single for a longtime. Hell a few weeks ago I met another black careerist woman, 37 going on 38, single for 7 years and could not find a decent man, main reason why is time, she is too heavy focused on work. The main problem for the op is time, trust, and she assumes there is something better around the corner, this is a very common attitude in the NYC dating market!
The OP's view towards dating in NYC seems typical of "professional" transplant types.
As a 25 year old man I understand women are selective, and should be. However, it seems like the majority of college educated Midwestern transplants have unrealistic expectations when seeking a man in NYC. Every 20 something year old woman from the Midwest that moves to NYC with a liberal arts degree and thinks that earning $60,000 a year is going to open doors for them and solidify their place among Manhattan socialites seems to think they can custom build their dream man.
I hate to break it to ya ladies but this isn't Build-A-Bear and you're not 8 years old. You can't write a mile long list of requirements and expect to find a custom built man. Contrary to what modern feminism tells you, men are people and also have feelings and wants and needs. If you can't recognize that there are TWO people in a relationship then you're going to be lonely or end up in a marriage with a spineless wimp who will allow you to run his life because he's desperate and needy. Either way you'll be miserable.
Narcissistic personality disorder has become the standard with American women in their 20's. Being self absorbed and demanding is not attractive, and the high quality in demand "Alpha male" you all seek is going to steer clear of that.
Stop ruling out men because they're an inch or two too short. Stop demanding instant commitment. Realize that men have feelings and needs too. Realize its not entirely about you all the time.
Find a man that treats you well, but you gotta give to get. Princess complexes can take a hike.
*aaaaaaand here come the accusations of me being a misogynist, a loser, unable to get laid, etc etc.*
I'm just being realistic and giving you good advice without sugar coating.[/QUOTE
True. Some call it an epidemic. Narcissistic epidemic. And if you point this out or offer constructive critisism you are accused of being an unattractive, impotent creep loser misogynist. I love, cherish and adore women but am also so often nowadays disappointed by their as of lately increased wichy ways. Not all women are like this but sadly in NYC too many and their numbers are growing.
Even though I like Transplant women over local NYC women this narcissism attitude that these Transplant women posses has to stop. To many women are hoping out of LGA airport bringing their Liberal Arts and English minor degrees thinking they are hot stuff. Hell some of these women are not even hot and just your typical Midwestern trash. The reason why women are like this is that there are enough decent men around. I'm a decent guy, but to most women one little blemish and will negate and say I am not suitable. Also these women have so much debt, what guy in the right mind will meet a woman down the aisle with a debt that she harbors at 60k. I haveto agree these women are increasing and I really cant wait for the next decade to show up, hopefully the next generation of American adult youth wont be so narcissitic as todays millennials. I also hope the back to city movement will die out as well in the next decade!
The OP's view towards dating in NYC seems typical of "professional" transplant types.
As a 25 year old man I understand women are selective, and should be. However, it seems like the majority of college educated Midwestern transplants have unrealistic expectations when seeking a man in NYC. Every 20 something year old woman from the Midwest that moves to NYC with a liberal arts degree and thinks that earning $60,000 a year is going to open doors for them and solidify their place among Manhattan socialites seems to think they can custom build their dream man.
I hate to break it to ya ladies but this isn't Build-A-Bear and you're not 8 years old. You can't write a mile long list of requirements and expect to find a custom built man. Contrary to what modern feminism tells you, men are people and also have feelings and wants and needs. If you can't recognize that there are TWO people in a relationship then you're going to be lonely or end up in a marriage with a spineless wimp who will allow you to run his life because he's desperate and needy. Either way you'll be miserable.
Narcissistic personality disorder has become the standard with American women in their 20's. Being self absorbed and demanding is not attractive, and the high quality in demand "Alpha male" you all seek is going to steer clear of that.
Stop ruling out men because they're an inch or two too short. Stop demanding instant commitment. Realize that men have feelings and needs too. Realize its not entirely about you all the time.
Find a man that treats you well, but you gotta give to get. Princess complexes can take a hike.
*aaaaaaand here come the accusations of me being a misogynist, a loser, unable to get laid, etc etc.*
I'm just being realistic and giving you good advice without sugar coating.
This was the point I was trying to make. Thank you.
This in general may be part of the reason a lot of women end up alone, we put too many stringent demands on what we want in a man. The right man only lacking a few things we want could be standing right in front of our face but we're busy looking over his shoulder looking for "Mr. Right". In my original post I was trying to say that we as Black women really can't especially afford to do this if we want a Black man but might come out better dating other races also.
To Citygirl
She may not have said it was her preference to find a Black man but did say the problems a few of her single girlfriends have finding a Black man to marry and included herself in having the same problem. She also said at one point she was against interracial dating and is now open to it, I gave my opinion in both areas. I won't try to be explain my post to you any further b/c it's clear you came in here wanting a battle by your inane argument and lack of comprehension to what I wrote with the added fact you attributed what someone else wrote to me.
Also if the OP finds a male interesting and a possible husband candidate, she must start to approach them on the subway, streets, parks and other public spaces. For males this is not acceptable behavior but for females it is. At the end of the day she got nothing to lose and she sleeps better knowing she atleast tried at some point in her life.
I am simply looking for a guy with the same shared values, education and
economic background as myself.
Marry your brother?
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I haveto agree these women are increasing and I really cant wait for the next decade to show up, hopefully the next generation of American adult youth wont be so narcissitic as todays millennials. I also hope the back to city movement will die out as well in the next decade!
