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Old 01-21-2014, 06:16 PM
 
2 posts, read 5,056 times
Reputation: 10

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I've been with my boyfriend for about four years now. We've talked about marriage, children, the whole nine yards, etc. Well, he's always been really really good at sales and recently he got a job as a stock broker on Wall Street. That's been his dream job for so long now and I've always supported him. We're both from the south but he's been to the city a few times and he says it feels like home. I've never been, but I think I would really like it. Anyways, he'll be moving next week and I can't help but to have all of these fears. For one, I'm not going with him right away. I'm planning on going a few months after he's settled. I've heard these god awful horror stories about the men on Wall St. My boyfriend did a little coke in college, and partied a lot. He doesn't do that anymore but he likes to go to the bar for some beer and pool. I heard that "coke" is popular in that business because of the fast pace. Are the drugs really as bad as they say? And what about strippers? He's going to be living with four other guys that work in the financial district. He's going to be so many miles away and I can't help but freak out. I love him so much that I am willing to leave everything I know behind, not to mention a new, really good job I have. I trust him but now... I have no idea what to do. I'm scared he is going to meet new, much sexier women. Or even fall into the wrong crowd. I know he wants this job more than anything and he's not going to throw it away, but he will do anything to get to the top; no matter what it takes. You may call me silly but I have no clue what it's really like there. Any advice would help. Just to ease my mind as least.

*** Maybe I should mention we've had some trust issues in the past. We're finally building it back. So yeah, I have some doubts. Unfortunately. I want us to work for than anything though. I'm just a little scared.

Last edited by karlyk22; 01-21-2014 at 06:53 PM..
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:27 PM
 
Location: East Village
756 posts, read 2,271,654 times
Reputation: 300
A lot of the stories you hear are—unfortunately—true. And yes, your boyfriend will meet new, sexier women. But if you can't trust him alone for a few months, I think you should be questioning your relationship as a whole.
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:29 PM
 
510 posts, read 1,438,122 times
Reputation: 467
Yup, Wall St is just like in the movies. Drugs all day, drinking until you black out every night. Strippers and escorts and loose women everywhere!


Seriously though with these questions?

The thing about NYC is that these things ARE there. More so than in small towns. But that's simply because NY is so diverse. If your boyfriend is the kind of person who would see the opportunity and DO those kinds of things then that's another story.
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:30 PM
 
4,157 posts, read 4,008,951 times
Reputation: 3989
I can't really help but I love reading these stories.

The strippers were after me for awhile, that part is true!
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:33 PM
 
6,680 posts, read 8,180,064 times
Reputation: 4871
Sounds like this relationship is doomed. You say you trust him but with those questions it leaves me to believe you have no trust. If your guy is the kind of guy to cheat what the temptations are there then he will do it now, later, and again and again. Mostly I think you need some confidence in yourself though. That should be your number one concern
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:39 PM
 
3,445 posts, read 6,037,778 times
Reputation: 6133
Im not a broker but have known a few. Big part of that job is socializing after work...either with coworkers or clients.

If he easily gives into temptations, you will have some worries
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:45 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,957,501 times
Reputation: 62660
You trust him about as much as one would trust a hungry mountain lion.
If you trusted him you would not have these issues and questions.
After 4 years of "talking about" marriage, children and the whole nine yards, what is the exact reason why you are still just dating?
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Manhattan
2,498 posts, read 3,749,849 times
Reputation: 1608
Goodluck.
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:54 PM
 
368 posts, read 620,129 times
Reputation: 712
You have a really good job but are willing to leave it for what exactly? Has he proposed marriage? Has he even proposed living together? You said you will be coming up months later but did he ask you to come up and join him? Be careful about uprooting your whole life and giving up a great job for someone who is not willing to do the same for you.
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:57 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 1,982,796 times
Reputation: 577
Quote:
Originally Posted by karlyk22 View Post
I've been with my boyfriend for about four years now. We've talked about marriage, children, the whole nine yards, etc. Well, he's always been really really good at sales and recently he got a job as a stock broker on Wall Street. That's been his dream job for so long now and I've always supported him. We're both from the south but he's been to the city a few times and he says it feels like home. I've never been, but I think I would really like it. Anyways, he'll be moving next week and I can't help but to have all of these fears. For one, I'm not going with him right away. I'm planning on going a few months after he's settled. I've heard these god awful horror stories about the men on Wall St. My boyfriend did a little coke in college, and partied a lot. He doesn't do that anymore but he likes to go to the bar for some beer and pool. I heard that "coke" is popular in that business because of the fast pace. Are the drugs really as bad as they say? And what about strippers? He's going to be living with four other guys that work in the financial district. He's going to be so many miles away and I can't help but freak out. I love him so much that I am willing to leave everything I know behind, not to mention a new, really good job I have. I trust him but now... I have no idea what to do. I'm scared he is going to meet new, much sexier women. Or even fall into the wrong crowd. I know he wants this job more than anything and he's not going to throw it away, but he will do anything to get to the top; no matter what it takes. You may call me silly but I have no clue what it's really like there. Any advice would help. Just to ease my mind as least.

*** Maybe I should mention we've had some trust issues in the past. We're finally building it back. So yeah, I have some doubts. Unfortunately. I want us to work for than anything though. I'm just a little scared.

Look for somebody else--- he sounds like a loser. And don't think about coming here . Sounds like the city would eat you alive.

PS; did you just go see the movie Wolf of Wall Street this weekend.. Is that where all these strange ideas are from
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