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This might be a really far-strung and elongated post, as it also involves some of my personal life, but please bear with me.
About 1.5 years ago (can’t believe it’s been that long now…) I was accepted into NYU undergrad on a full and renewable academic scholarship. At the time I lived in the Silver Lake/Los Feliz neighborhoods of Los Angeles with my family, and had lived there all my life. My upbringing was fairly difficult. Needless to say, I was incredibly sheltered, anxious, and naïve, with a lot of pent up angst. This might sound impossible or conjured to some, but I felt deeply estranged from my parents that when it came time to make college plans, that I went through the whole college app process myself; no. 1 goal being to move as far away from my parents as possible. Literally, I discussed none of it with my parents — I couldn’t bring myself to discuss my life plans and wants with them. I think I put in applications to about 18 institutions in the U.S. I remember thinking that scholarship to NYU was a godsend; both a full ride and a teen’s dream, really, to go to school in Manhattan. I thought I knew what I was doing, so I took it. I remember my mother sneered, “Good. Go where there are more people like you.”
My father has agreed to get me an apartment for $1,500 +/-, and to take care of settling down for me, but I have no idea where to start. I’m fine with anything below Harlem, but would obviously like for it to be “isolated” and tranquil enough a neighborhood to seriously sit down and get some work and some writing done. My other option is to give it up, scholarship and all; move back home, pull myself together, and reapply to the small-town, Americana colleges. Maybe accept that offer from Bennington College (VT) or Hampshire College this time around.
What are your thoughts? Recommendations on neighborhoods if I decide to stay? Maybe you can match up the personality this post excuses with an appropriate neighborhood…
Have you tried this approach - a private study pod, or a quiet environment in a public libary (read reviews in link here). Private study rooms New York, NY Don't just dismiss the idea outright, because you went to one public library once and it didn't work. They're all very different. It might take some looking around.
See if it sounds like it might address some of your concerns. Sometimes finding a quiet space in the room of a public library, with age-mature people surrounding you, rather than mostly other college students, can be calming.
If you have to use Dad's money, renting a study space, or finding something quiet enough in a public library, might be more effective than trying to find your own apartment. Then, when you return to your current apartment, wear headphones and earplugs and don't engage. If you've had many hours of successful quiet study elsewhere, the apt might not bother you as much.
Hampshire College built all single dorms, as I recall, and favors students who think outside-the-box. Benington VT is a bucolic mountain setting full of privileged students in the arts. In either of those places, you will discover others who are so on-edge and loud that they could set you off by their lifestyle choices, too.
While it's true you may need a complete change of environment, this one seems like a case where you have to take charge where you are to see if you can redirect your NYC day so it works better for you. You sound like you need a peaceful room more than a total change of college.
Last edited by BrightRabbit; 01-03-2015 at 12:56 AM..
My father has agreed to get me an apartment for $1,500 +/-, and to take care of settling down for me, but I have no idea where to start. I’m fine with anything below Harlem, but would obviously like for it to be “isolated” and tranquil enough a neighborhood to seriously sit down and get some work and some writing done. My other option is to give it up, scholarship and all; move back home, pull myself together, and reapply to the small-town, Americana colleges. Maybe accept that offer from Bennington College (VT) or Hampshire College this time around.
What are your thoughts? Recommendations on neighborhoods if I decide to stay? Maybe you can match up the personality this post excuses with an appropriate neighborhood…
See a therapist if your mood swings or depression continue. Go to NYU's medical clinic, get treated and diagnosed. I think you should stay at NYU.
As for apartments, I think anything below 96th Street is going to cost more than $1500. The best bargains to be found might be Yorkville (just below Spanish Harlem, the more working class part of the Upper East Side that is rapidly gentrifying) or the Alphabet City in the Lower East Side/East Village.
This might be a really far-strung and elongated post, as it also involves some of my personal life, but please bear with me.
About 1.5 years ago (can’t believe it’s been that long now…) I was accepted into NYU undergrad on a full and renewable academic scholarship.
Up until my father dropped me off at my freshman dorm, no discussion occurred. It was all surreal. In the last 1.5 years, I feel like I have aged decades. I’ve had more reality checks on this island about life than I can count. In some twisted, perverse way, this city has made me feel both deeply depressed and deeply happy & elated, leaving me ambivalent about staying or leaving. Sometimes I would shed tears of happiness just walking the streets, and other times I’d think the city was an amalgamation of all human wretchedness. Freshman year was utterly excruciating, and words can do no justice to how much I hated it— the living situation, that is. I shared a suite of 4, and shared a bedroom the size of my kitchen in L.A. (probably something like 10 x 20 ft). I have horrible anxiety; I could deal with coming home to privacy from the hectic streets of Manhattan, but to sleep with a stranger in a closet killed me for a year straight. I could not deal with the foreign workings of strangers’ bodies in such tight spaces. I could not comfortably get work done because of the sheer amount of moving around I had to do to dodge distractions and noise.
My father has agreed to get me an apartment for $1,500 +/-, and to take care of settling down for me, but I have no idea where to start. I’m fine with anything below Harlem, but would obviously like for it to be “isolated” and tranquil enough a neighborhood to seriously sit down and get some work and some writing done. My other option is to give it up, scholarship and all; move back home, pull myself together, and reapply to the small-town, Americana colleges. Maybe accept that offer from Bennington College (VT) or Hampshire College this time around.
What are your thoughts? Recommendations on neighborhoods if I decide to stay? Maybe you can match up the personality this post excuses with an appropriate neighborhood…
a full and renewable academic scholarship = NYU cost 20K per semester. You are lucky to have a full and renewable scholarship. A NYU degree can open a lot of doors.
It seems like you are making petty excuses to go back home (where you feel safe). You shared a bedroom with 4 people which i can understand how it can be uncomfortable. BUT now you have a single bedroom yet there is still something that bothers you. You said, " the sounds of my suitemates’s loud f••king noises has left me feeling filthy." Is your roommate in the apt 24/7? Do you work? Is your roommate having sex 24/7? Why don't you buy noise cancelling headphones?
I’m telling myself I can handle it fine if I’m able to isolate an apartment for myself, to which I can come home to my own private world. I doubt it. You will probably feel lonely and create a new thread about it.
IMO, you are depressed about leaving home and it seems as though you are a shy person. You might have become anti-social due to your shyness and depression. How many friends do you have at NYU? Any boyfriends? NYU has counseling services for its students. Maybe, you should try it.
To the OP: Trust me when I tell you it has nothing to do with location. College students tend to party and are generally noisy. You won't be able to escape it wherever you go. I had the same problem when I went to college and transferred from college to college, from big city to suburb to small city and still faced the same problem.
In general, the only peace and quiet you will find is to live in an unattached, private house because even apartments by yourself, you have to deal with neighbors above, below and next to you. Any number of them can be noisy and you will have trouble again. Just look at the number of people on this site complaining about noisy neighbors.
You're still going to need a roommate to live in Manhattan below Harlem for that kind of money, so take your time and find someone older, stable and quiet.
You sound like a special snowflake who would have trouble with college anywhere and is making excuses for your own problems. Get over your melodrama and deal.
My father has agreed to get me an apartment for $1,500 +/-, and to take care of settling down for me, but I have no idea where to start. I’m fine with anything below Harlem, but would obviously like for it to be “isolated” and tranquil enough a neighborhood to seriously sit down and get some work and some writing done. My other option is to give it up, scholarship and all; move back home, pull myself together, and reapply to the small-town, Americana colleges. Maybe accept that offer from Bennington College (VT) or Hampshire College this time around.
Considering you came from LA, one would think you would be able to adjust to student life in Manhattan fairly quickly. If private accommodations are what is mainly tormenting you, consider living in Queens. In Astoria, you might find a studio for 1300-1400; from there, you can take the N/Q straight to Union Square. It has about 3 public libraries where you can get your studying/writing done as well as coffee shops that don't get too crowded (Cafe Bene in Ditmars has free wifi). Another option would be to rent in Fleetwood near Bronxville which also has a population of students going to Concordia and MSV - then commute to Grand Central. I think apartments in Fleetwood are much cheaper to rent than NYC. Bronxville and a part of Yonkers has a town center that attracts college students looking to hang out and get some schoolwork done.
If that does not work then maybe somewhere more bucolic like Ithaca College/Hampshire might be better for you.
I always find it fascinating those who do their UG in NYC, as adjusting to college life is as awkward at is is adjusting to big city life, and doing both at once must likely detract from the experience of both.
That said, the horrors you're feeling at the dorm at NYU, are actually just as bad in many colleges (especially public) across the country.
College is an exciting but sometimes awful experience, especially at high demand schools where little is done to improve quality of student life due to full enrollments.
Find a good friend, make them your roommate. $3000 a month will get you a 2 BR in a few decent places in NYC with a little more calm. Live off campus but somewhere decent, and try to schedule classes to allow that commute.
I attended a few places in undergrad, and that nightmare feeling is fairly pervasive.
You get through it. You grow a lot from it (as you said) and you walk out 4 years later a rougher person.
One thing always rang with me-
If you'd describe your rougher living situation to someone who might have stayed at their parents house and went to USC- they may chime back "I could never live like that". At times that sounded like an insult, like I was find with so much less- but I think in reality, there are people who -cannot- leave their comfort or safe zones. You rise above what they say, and take as much as you can- and you'll probably look back one day with only the fond memories of college remaining...
... or you'll off yourself like a few kids do each year too.
Good luck!
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