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Hi guys,
I'm a medical student who had a 4 months relationship with a student from my class. We have been the best friends for a few months before we started dating and I felt like he was my soulmate during that time, although we're very different. The guy is very introvert comparing to me, less ambitious and dominant, but really considerate loving to me. He had almost no friends when we met, and I'm, as a very social girl introduced him to my friends at the time. after a few months I felt bored. I mean, I felt like I wanted him to stay in my life as a very good friend, but not as my boyfriend. I loved him a real, true love, as I love my mom and my brother, but I felt it was right for us to break up and try to leave things as they were before 4 months before. He didn't accept that and tried really hard to keep the relationship going. He said I was his world and he couldn't imagine his life without me. I couldn't either, but we both saw "us" as two different things.
Therefore, he decided to have no contact with me at all. I believe it was too hard for him to have me around, even as a friend and he wanted to break that off.
It's been almost a year of no contact. He unfriended me on FB. We study in the same class, but we're not talking and even ignoring each other. Most of my close friends kind of picked his side, and I have almost no contact with them today either. It was the hardest thing for me at the beginning, although I was the one who broke up with him.
I'd say that I decided not to have a relationship this year, in order to focus on my studies. After a few months I felt good with the decision. I got a little upset, of course, when he had a birthday and I didn't call and I'm almost sure he's dating another girl from our class, who was one of my friends before the breakup.
I'd say that I DON'T wanna get back to him. I don't see us as a couple and it was a mistake. I do miss him a lot now. It's so strange- almost a year of no contact and no crying, but now, I feel bad. I miss him, I listen to our songs, I see pics and it's so hard. Maybe it's not him, but the need for being so close to someone. I don't know.
What I do know, is that I feel empty. I feel bad. I spend a lot of time thinking about him.
What should I do?
Thanks in advance,
Emma
My advice would be for you to focus on finding someone to date that you are actually interested in having a relationship with. You stated that its really not him specifically that you miss but "someone".
In my opinion, its a big mistake to start seeing a guy just to fill a need not to be lonely and to have someone to be close to.
Hi guys,
Thanks for your answers!
Of course I didn't express my disappointment from my friends who picked a side, from that friend who instantly started dating him after we broke up, and from all this ignoring situation which makes coming to class every day more difficult...
Anyways, I think I need to try and understand that I don't miss him, but someone to be close to, and as you said, I shouldn't just date someone because of that.
Thanks again!
I would listen to the song Let it Go (Missy Elliot & Keyshia Cole)
I don't know how easy it is for you to let things go and move on but I would not waste my time ruminating over him. If you were to indeed get back together, You would probably start feeling the same way again.
I'd just focus on your studies and keep an open mind. Do not feel bad about struggling in your love life. Complicated Dating/Relationships are enough of a distraction from the complicated things that actually matter in your life (Studies, friends, success, overall happiness)
damn that is screwed up.. Your friends actually severed contact with you and stay friends with.... now who is the lonely one now. How did you screw that up?
Exactly.
They were my friends (for the record, only female friends) before we even started dating, and became close to him through me. When we broke up, they (again, only girls) gradually severed contact with me and today they are sitting together with him in class. They keep it a secret, but one of them have been dating him for 4 months now.
I'm also convinced that his "no contact" method is their idea, since he "decided" to do that last year, after they spent a day together in class when I was away...
Only one of female friends from this group stayed "by my side".
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