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The older NYC girls get more desperate. I recall when I was last 100% single and lived in Manhattan for two years this subset of girls between 27-33 not from the NY area who lived in Manhattan by themselves it was like a feeding frenzy. In particular the charity ball type single things.
I actually was talking to this hot blonde, who lived two blocks from me at one of the balls, who was there with her friend. It was not working that night. I said we should all get together, her friend jumped in and said I have a pen just give me your number so we can plan something.
Well she calls me a few days later, we chat, then it turns out the blonde was busy and asks me what I am usually do Saturday afternoon, I said pretty much nothing. Then she goes I want to go to museum to see an exhibit, do you want to go with me. Well I already told her I am doing nothing and I live in city so I say yes. We do museum, then we head back to her place. She asked me if I want to come up to use bathroom and get something to drink before I went to subway. It is a studio apt, so I sit on her bed, it is broad daylight. I am about to leave and she goes let me thank you for taking me to museum and went to town on me like out of a movie, it was insane hot. Then when done I catch my breath for like 30 seconds, she goes well I know you are meeting buddies to go drinking tonight and you don't want to hang around and spoon, get out of here, go take a nap at home and have a great time.
It was as if she read a play book on men. This went on three more times than the fourth time she tried to pull me in on. I was not no biting.
A white good looking guy, his own apt in Manhattan good job, college educated could rack up huge numbers.
And unless the girl is a 9 or higher you need to make your move like the girl in the museum story.You know what plenty of guy might have fallen for her move. Guess what she was ok looking, but kicker was she was a Chemical Engineer for a major fortune 500 company with some big masters or PhD. And here she is around 31 in NYS resorting to this to attempt to land a boyfriend who could not even pass HS Chemistry.
Amazing part at that point in my life. I had a grunt level job on Wall Street. Basically operations. A tiny tiny 200 square foot studio. I dated lawyers, traders, models but as my Brother told me every single girl over 30 who has already accomplished their career goals and are type A have in their head planned out every detail of their wedding, how many kids they want, what type of house in surburbs and what neighborhood they will live in when married. They just need a guy in a Tuxedo who will look good in the wedding picture to make it all happened. And that is the frustrating part. The clock is ticking.
Where were the most common paces you met these women? I go out (lounges, etc.) on weekend but, as a new resident, don't have a lot of people to go out with (and am usually by myself). I've been to a lot of nice places to bring a date but none of them have been particularly good places for finding a date.
Where were the most common paces you met these women? I go out (lounges, etc.) on weekend but, as a new resident, don't have a lot of people to go out with (and am usually by myself). I've been to a lot of nice places to bring a date but none of them have been particularly good places for finding a date.
I know you were addressing DelightfulNYC, but I figured I might be of assistance, so...
What neighborhoods have you been hanging out in?
As you've observed, some places are date spots, others are more for hanging out and meeting new people. You really should pick between them carefully depending on your goal.
Age range and type of crowd also matters - if you tell us more, we might be able to point you in the right direction.
I know you were addressing DelightfulNYC, but I figured I might be of assistance, so...
What neighborhoods have you been hanging out in?
As you've observed, some places are date spots, others are more for hanging out and meeting new people. You really should pick between them carefully depending on your goal.
Age range and type of crowd also matters - if you tell us more, we might be able to point you in the right direction.
Thanks for the tips -- happy to hear advice from anyone willing to answer.
I don't focus on particular neighborhoods per se, but look for quieter spots (based on Yelp reviews) that tend towards lounges (as opposed to rowdier bars, nighclubs, etc.). That said, I am partial to Tribeca as I like the vibe and quiet of the area. I also like Flatiron (which is near my residence). I'm living kind of in between Flatiron and Murray Hill, but found the latter a little young (I'm turning 37 yo soon) for me; Flatiron would be a better fit for me than MH. I'm more than willing to travel to the other boroughs for places that are a better fit.
I'd prefer more of a subdued, (relatively) well behaved crowd that's quieter than some of the more rowdy places. Age range is pretty broad, say 25-40 though 30-40 would probably be the band within the range that is a better fit.
You're right about choosing carefully -- most of the places have been geared towards dates, groups, etc. and were not good choices at all for solo patrons (at least IMO).
Thanks for the tips -- happy to hear advice from anyone willing to answer.
I don't focus on particular neighborhoods per se, but look for quieter spots (based on Yelp reviews) that tend towards lounges (as opposed to rowdier bars, nighclubs, etc.). That said, I am partial to Tribeca as I like the vibe and quiet of the area. I also like Flatiron (which is near my residence). I'm living kind of in between Flatiron and Murray Hill, but found the latter a little young (I'm turning 37 yo soon) for me; Flatiron would be a better fit for me than MH. I'm more than willing to travel to the other boroughs for places that are a better fit.
I'd prefer more of a subdued, (relatively) well behaved crowd that's quieter than some of the more rowdy places. Age range is pretty broad, say 25-40 though 30-40 would probably be the band within the range that is a better fit.
You're right about choosing carefully -- most of the places have been geared towards dates, groups, etc. and were not good choices at all for solo patrons (at least IMO).
Thanks for the tips!
I live in Murray Hill myself, and work in the Gramercy/Flatiron area. You should definitely check out Gramercy as there are lots of classy bars and lounges around there, especially in the 20s between Lexington and 5th Ave. Mari Vanna, Pops, etc. come to mind.
I totally get what you're saying about MH though - I'm 32 and don't feel like it's THAT young, but it's definitely a douchebag/fratboy kinda scene which gets old and annoying quick.
In Tribeca you can try Anotheroom or the Brandy Library. SoHo also has quieter, classier spots - I especially like NoMo SoHo (used to be Mondrian) and James Hotel although the latter does get crowded and a bit loud on the weekends.
I rarely hang in the UES or the UWS, or even around Midtown really, so can't suggest spots there.
That's a good question. I'm a woman but this is something that a lot of Black women like myself have discussed extensively over the years. I preface what I'm about to say by acknowledging that I'm speaking in generalities, this doesn't apply to every case. My belief is because Whites (actually the Brits), after the Dark Ages, emerged at the top of the pecking order. All other White nationalities fall in line behind them or benefit from what the Brits accomplish simply by race association with the Brits. BM and other non-White men cannot make themselves White men like you so they take the next best option which is to get a White woman and gain honorary White-status-by-association.
It's the same in principle as women see in the media a supermodel or A-list celeb wearing a certain color lipstick or outfit so the average woman runs out and buys it. Although it hasn't turned her into a supermodel or A-list celeb, she feels like one because she is wearing what that celeb was wearing on the red carpet. Usually in those cases, that particular lipstick or outfit isn't even naturally appealing to most women but because A-list celeb has it, they feel they must have it too. It's the sheep mentality where people follow the leader even though that is not naturally where they would have chosen to go. I believe this applies in a lot of cases where BM covet WW.
I agree with you on that. I think many black men who prefer white women do so because that is the closest they can get to achieving those things. To be honest, I think the bigger reason is they have programmed to see white women in the best light. What has been made as society standards of beauty has also effected what race many men find as the most attractive race of women.
What kills me is when many black men justify their preference for white women by saying "black women have attitudes" or "white women are easier to talk to". Personally, the vibe I get from most white women who are of average attractiveness or higher is that they think they are doing me a favor just acknowledging my presence, so I won't be big upping them like many other black men do!!
Last edited by Beliciano; 02-12-2016 at 06:19 AM..
I agree with you on that. I think many black men who prefer white women do so because that is the closest they can get to achieving those things. To be honest, I think the bigger reason is they have programmed to see white women in the best light. What has been made as society standards of beauty has also effected what race many men find as the most attractive race of women.
What kills me is when many black men justify their preference for white women by saying "black women have attitudes" or "white women are easier to talk to". Personally, the vibe I get from most white women who are of average attractiveness or higher is that they think they are doing me a favor just acknowledging my presence, so I won't be big upping them like many other black men do!!
White men say the same things about Asian women and often trash their own women. Why aren't we examining their pathology?
Do we think white men hate themselves for preferring petite Asian women? Of course not...it's just their "preference." In my experience, black men tend to date women that they have the most success with. You can take two black men with the same education, style, income and similar appearance; one may have lots of success with black women while the other will have more success with white women. Most brothas are efficient. If I can attract high quality sistas with ease, I'll probably date mostly black women. If my game seems to pull more white women...I'm probably going to stick with white women.
Get in where you fit in, so to speak. My best friend is an educated, well paid engineer with decent looks. He can pull Nigerian, Jamaican, white, Latina and Asian girls but has the hardest time with black American women. His cousin (similar looks, education, style, game etc.) can pull black American girls like hotcakes but has absolutely zero success with anyone that isn't an American-born sista.
Men are so ****ing weird when it comes to women. If a woman is going to go down on you after one date, it's because she wants to go down on you, not because she wants a husband. It might be a shock to some dudes but--gasp!--some of us actually get horny and love having sex.
This is a phenomenal thread. Here is the sad truth. These are my opinions and also my plans. I have lived in NJ for a majority of my life. I have had lots of ups and downs in the northeast. I am in nursing school for a second masters, and I am fleeing the northeast as soon as my program is over. The northeast is a mix of materialism, poor socializing, segregation, prejudices, and placism. Race and religion play a very large role up here and while there are many people of different cultures and ethnicities, people are only here for money. If you are a black male and don't have any priors and have some form of education that allows for mobility leave the NJ/NY area. It trully doesn't make sense to live to up here. There are parts of this country where you can date outside of your race and be happy.
I always thought that if I got a good education, was polite, honest, was well groomed, committed no crimes, had a job, was loyal and just a good man that I would find someone. I am ****ing 34 years old. I have DONE everything I was "supposed to do" and my experiences up here have been deplorable. A lot of the reasons why black males go through what they go through is because of stereotypes and the intimidation they create. White people are easily intimidated and other cultures look to them as the leader in what the appropriate stance to have on certain issues.
If money is the thing to have then everyone will kill themselves to have it. Because blacks are so marginalized in this country how we go about doing anything has to be done with thought and tact. Everything from employment to dating is like walking on eggshells. When it comes to dating black males are only an option when the woman has exhausted all her other options, unsightly, or have some special situation. I have lived in the southwest and there are some places where Black males are celebrated and not just tolerated.
If you do everything right and the bar keeps getting moved then maybe you should question whether what your chasing is worth it in the long run. I have no issues with BM going for what they like, life is short. BM need should not bash BW. Reading the thread is so saddening because I wonder who is left to be with. If there is no one why am I busting my ass in school when the hopes of having a family are not possible anymore. Females waiting it out for a dude on wall street until their 50. I AM NOT A UGLY DUDE, I DO NOT GAME EITHER. I GUESS THIS IS THE REASON MEN ARE STARTING THIS THING CALLED MGTOW. I'm a stubborn dude won't hit the gym as hard as I do and be with a morbidly obese female but I am willing work with people imperfections. What I'm getting is there is nothing here.
I'm ranting and a lot is based off of frustration but, I know dudes gotta be thinking the same with SOME of the things I'm saying.
I am white--although "ethnic" white, i.e. Italian--and I know plenty of women (myself included) who have happily dated and fallen in love with black men. Black men are not intimidating; they are just men who happen to be black. Just because you are polite, have a good job, and no priors doesn't mean you are entitled to a relationship. Nobody is.
A lot of men think that just because they are a "catch," women will flock to them. Nobody has the right to demand a relationship just because they are doing "everything right."
I agree, I don't think I'm a catch. See you don't think black people are intimidating but you can only speak for yourself. In college I had 3 italian roommates. Some Italians are very cool but I'm talking about the overall majority of white people. There is a lot of prejudice in this country.
Its funny theres alway a guy who post afterwards that is supposed to exonerate the entire white race. I think you speak for yourself.. nobody is entitled to ****. Everyone is equal but some people are more equal than others
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