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Old 05-18-2015, 05:03 AM
 
Location: Bronx
14,957 posts, read 17,501,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
If anything, the women in the article and their hedge fund husbands are not going to take a chance with a ghetto nabe on the edge of gentrification. The UES blocks where they live have been wealthy for a long time already. When they do move to a neighborhood (Park Slope?), chances are it has already been cleaned up by someone else.



Especially if the marriage contract stipulates that they get paid a performance bonus upon achievement of certain goals. The author did not mention what the age gap is between wives and their wealthy husbands. The essay would have been more interesting if she included that info.
Good point. My thoughts exactly.
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Old 05-18-2015, 05:10 AM
 
2,575 posts, read 1,906,664 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest_Hills_Daddy View Post
Especially if the marriage contract stipulates that they get paid a performance bonus upon achievement of certain goals. The author did not mention what the age gap is between wives and their wealthy husbands. The essay would have been more interesting if she included that info.
It's more involved than just monetary reasons but financial incentive is proven to be a number one motivator for most things.
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:03 AM
 
Location: London, NYC & LA
842 posts, read 617,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
Dude what is your issue? Also you sound very off beat. We are having a topic about something else and now you are having a tirade about how you hate immigrants and undesirables? Get a life guy. And for your information I'm still deciding whether or not I should do the expat thing or the transplant thing.
Sorry, but his rants about immigrants and working class black people, says more about him than anything else..

For an Ivy leaguer, I must say I am disappointed..

I was always raised with the notion that when you come up and then bring others with you, not denigrate them..

Back to the wives an interesting world, but except for having a bit more money in my pocket I largely dont envy them. Your acceptance is predicated on you having money, if you fall on hard times, earning a few 100,000 thousand a year instead of a few million you are instantly excluded.

I remember meeting a girl from that world, who took a liking to me on a flight. She referred to it aptly as a 'gilded cage'. She wanted to break free, but had no idea how and knew anywhere else was down given the mindset she was raised to have.
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:25 AM
 
2,575 posts, read 1,906,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nograviti View Post
I remember meeting a girl from that world, who took a liking to me on a flight. She referred to it aptly as a 'gilded cage'. She wanted to break free, but had no idea how and knew anywhere else was down given the mindset she was raised to have.
The more one has to gain from it the more one has to lose. That's why it's difficult to get out of but eventually one adjusts to life afterwards, and in the most miserable cases it may come as a relief once it's all said and done.

If the marriage disintegrates I assume these women don't exactly fall on hard times. In Sex and the City the characters Charlotte York and Dr. Trey MacDougal had a pre-nup that included the condition of how many millions per child produced by marriage would be awarded and the property to be divided in the event of divorce.
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:32 AM
 
Location: London, NYC & LA
842 posts, read 617,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merry Lee Gather View Post
The more one has to gain from it the more one has to lose. That's why it's difficult to get out of but eventually one adjusts to life afterwards, and in the most miserable cases it may come as a relief once it's all said and done.

If the marriage disintegrates I assume these women don't exactly fall on hard times. In Sex and the City the characters Charlotte York and Dr. Trey MacDougal had a pre-nup that included the condition of how many millions per child produced by marriage would be awarded and the property to be divided in the event of divorce.

True on both counts.. Then again some women will not sacrifice their dignity to chase a bad husband through the courts, trying to get what is rightfully theirs, so not all end up in the money..

I have lost count of how many men's fortunes have mysteriously vanished come divorce time..
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:37 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
4,246 posts, read 6,393,979 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nograviti View Post
True on both counts.. Then again some women will not sacrifice their dignity to chase a bad husband through the courts, trying to get what is rightfully theirs, so not all end up in the money..

I have lost count of how many men's fortunes have mysteriously vanished come divorce time..
I don't believe they vanish. They're merely halved, correct?
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:41 AM
 
Location: London, NYC & LA
842 posts, read 617,675 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet View Post
I don't believe they vanish. They're merely halved, correct?
Usually social pressure will make a would be unscrupulous husband stick to his commitments.

But if he doesn't give a d***, his money is quickly siphoned off shore into hidden accounts and creative accounting takes care of the rest..

Sad but very true.. Everything in life really dependent on whether the individuals in question want to play ball.. Court cases are long and expensive affairs, why risk losing what you can ill afford for the slim chance of a bit more..

Hence the reason why I would rather be dependent on my own money. Its like when you are born into a wealthy family and a family member threatens to cut you off. The precariousness of your situation becomes very clear in seconds....
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Jamestown, NY
7,841 posts, read 6,946,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
I'd rather be around well educated AMERICANS (of any race) rather than poor immigrants OR low class African Americans. So my comments stand.

Better to be around these women than poor immigrants from GUYANA (and other really poor uneducated places) AND GHETTO BLACKS. For that matter I don't like all gays. Gentrification got rid of a lot of the low class gays from Manhattan. And I was happy. All that ghetto has been pretty much entirely displaced from the West Village, Chelsea, and Hells Kitchen. The same thing is getting rid of the remaining scum in the Lower East Side and Chinatown. I am happy that Manhattan is full of civilized people with class.

But enough of my personal preferences. You are practically off the boat so who are you to tell people who have been living in this country where they can or cannot live? If you are so proud of your Guyanese identity you do not need an exit visa to leave the US!
Ain't urban diversity great? You can be any race or religion or sexual orientation as long as you're "civilized" and "classy", by which NyWriterdude undoubtedly means well educated and having a life-style he approves of.
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Old 05-18-2015, 08:30 AM
 
1,978 posts, read 1,246,318 times
Reputation: 1185
The author's condescending tone and bias writing is disturbing and difficult to take serious. Marriage is a complicated process of two people becoming one and it can be made even more difficult when there is a large wealth disparity between partners and determining what is fair for each.
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Old 05-18-2015, 08:30 AM
 
2,575 posts, read 1,906,664 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by nograviti View Post
True on both counts.. Then again some women will not sacrifice their dignity to chase a bad husband through the courts, trying to get what is rightfully theirs, so not all end up in the money..

I have lost count of how many men's fortunes have mysteriously vanished come divorce time..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soviet View Post
I don't believe they vanish. They're merely halved, correct?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nograviti View Post
Usually social pressure will make a would be unscrupulous husband stick to his commitments.

But if he doesn't give a d***, his money is quickly siphoned off shore into hidden accounts and creative accounting takes care of the rest..

Sad but very true.. Everything in life really dependent on whether the individuals in question want to play ball.. Court cases are long and expensive affairs, why risk losing what you can ill afford for the slim chance of a bit more..

Hence the reason why I would rather be dependent on my own money. Its like when you are born into a wealthy family and a family member threatens to cut you off. The precariousness of your situation becomes very clear in seconds....
They can run but they can't hide. With pre-nups and post-nups there is full disclosure of assets that they're entitled to before signing the document. A wife and mother with advanced degrees knows to hire a really good attorney upon divorce. Plus they'll be guided and supported by the women in their social circle that went before them in similar situations. Of course they'll have to weigh if a lengthy discovery process will be worth it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYer23 View Post
The author's condescending tone and bias writing is disturbing and difficult to take serious. Marriage is a complicated process of two people becoming one and it can be made even more difficult when there is a large wealth disparity between partners and determining what is fair for each.
That's what the pre-nups and post-nups are supposed to be for. To make it fair in the event of divorce.
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