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In the city, at bars and restaurants. I haven't used meetups for dating yet I guess I could give it a try. Although I did hear that Meetups aren't good for finding dates (I read that somewhere). I forgot the source, they even had statistic data on it.
A bar is usually not a good place to meet a nice woman (who is interested in a monogamous long term relationship). If you really want to meet someone worthwhile, try to frequent religious services, book stores, volunteer organizations, coffee or tea shops, museums, and other places that do not center around loud music and alcohol.
Let love find you. Join a few meet up groups. You are looking for a nice girl??? Go to places where people with other interests go...musuems, galleries, festivals. You have so many options. You may sit next to her on the "A" train, then BAM!
You took this A train quote the wrong way I think is kinda hip and quite. 🚻 is like being at the wright place
In the wright time. ⏰
Agreed, maybe it's difficult to find a nice girl in NYC around age 25, but the 25-year-old acting-out borderline tramp, could be tired of it all by mid-thirties. This also doesn't necessarily connote to her deciding and realizing that she'd better try to trap a man with her ovaries either. It may not make her good relationship material NOW, I grant you, but it doesn't mean a woman who needs some seasoning and maturity is a scummy used-up "scrap" either. I'm in my early 40's and I agree it is discouraging though, hard to envision how the blonde sorority girls falling drunk at lunch out of a Mexican restaurant and shrieking the C-word at each other (true story - I believe I actually said out loud sarcastically "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Future Wives and Mothers of America!") are going to mature up; but OP's plaints are so needlessly self-defeating it hurts me a little.
This is very true. Some don't get tired of this tramp high school mentality until they reach their 40s. Lots of women here don't mature up until late 30s, but when its all said and done, where are the nice decent guys?
Quote:
Originally Posted by richrf
Women approach in a different way. They may do it with their eyes, for example. When a guy is being approached, he definitely knows it.
Its all about body language.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fmatthew5876
No woman anywhere is attracted to a needy male.
Seriously there are plenty of actually good dating advice resources on the internet and books for men nowadays. If you're having girl problems, try google.
This is very true. Me personally I can no longer give advise to the op, but he should to stop being needy, take time to cool off. Also he is emotional, and at times men can be emotional or even more emotional than women. This guy is going to be hurt for sometime, and its best for him not to go for a rebound and to be in a relationship so soon after a breakup. If I was the op my attitude would be like, hey at least I got mines, and try to focus on himself. Women in this city is like the wind, they come and they go.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 05-25-2015 at 09:46 PM..
A bar is usually not a good place to meet a nice woman (who is interested in a monogamous long term relationship). If you really want to meet someone worthwhile, try to frequent religious services, book stores, volunteer organizations, coffee or tea shops, museums, and other places that do not center around loud music and alcohol.
This is very true. Some don't get tired of this tramp high school mentality until they reach their 40s. Lots of women here don't mature up until late 30s, but when its all said and done, where are the nice decent guys?
Its all about body language.
This is very true. Me personally I can no longer give advise to the op, but he should to stop being needy, take time to cool off. Also he is emotional, and at times men can be emotional or even more emotional than women. This guy is going to be hurt for sometime, and its best for him not to go for a rebound and to be in a relationship so soon after a breakup. If I was the op my attitude would be like, hey at least I got mines, and try to focus on himself. Women in this city is like the wind, they come and they go.
I can't imagine feeling so uncomfortable with myself that I would need to be in a relationship at 25. I'm slightly older and I was in one at 25, broke up at 26, and had lived an awesome of a life by myself (maybe even better) up until 28. And yea, I am well-off, tall, good looking etc. and turned people down at that age. I liked my alone time. Relationship wise, I was never looking for anything, it just came.
You need to see a therapist if you're not into yourself. Also, no one (other than uneducated, poor people) is looking to get married and have babies at 25 in NYC.
I can't imagine feeling so uncomfortable with myself that I would need to be in a relationship at 25. I'm slightly older and I was in one at 25, broke up at 26, and had lived an awesome of a life by myself (maybe even better) up until 28. And yea, I am well-off, tall, good looking etc. and turned people down at that age. I liked my alone time. Relationship wise, I was never looking for anything, it just came.
You need to see a therapist if you're not into yourself. Also, no one (other than uneducated, poor people) is looking to get married and have babies at 25 in NYC.
Humans are social creatures, I don't find it normal for people to be OK being by themselves. It truly bothers me when people say that because not everyone is like that, and not everyone wants to be like that. I don't care if it's healthy to enjoy your own company, some people are built differently.
And no, uneducated, poor people aren't the only ones having kids and a family at 25. That's a terrible way to look at it.
Hey OP, please don't take this the wrong way, but you NEED to be single right now. I can tell by the way you're talking about everything that you're not over your ex at all. You're looking for someone else to fill the void that she left, and you're clearly still hurt and are not emotionally healed. You need to spend this time focusing on re-connecting with friends and having a little bit of fun yourself- this doesn't need to mean getting drunk/partying. Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Grow more comfortable and confident with yourself. Pick up a new hobby, etc.
I've been 100% in your shoes but from the opposite (female) perspective. When I was 24 I was living with an ex-boyfriend that I had been dating since the start of college. I thought that he was the one for me but in reality we weren't happy. Yes, we had happy times, but our lack of communication and differences in how we liked to spend our time really drove us apart. I was always trying to 'fix' things and blamed myself for being too demanding of him, too concerned with where he was and who he was spending his time with. Turns out that all it took was coming home one day to find the girl he swore was 'just a friend' on top of him naked for me to see the light. After we broke up (and I kicked him out) I spent about two years trying to meet someone worth dating and I got REALLY discouraged by all of the fools and straight up a**holes that I met. I had decided to try online dating but was overwhelmed by the whole thing- I'm a shy girl and tend to be quiet. I also would never say hi to someone on the A train, so I totally get it. I decided to delete my profile and stop looking for awhile, and as I logged in to delete it I got a message from my now boyfriend of 1 year who is the sweetest, most dedicated man that I have ever dated. The moral of my story is this: There are people out there who share your beliefs and want the same things you do, but you need to be ready for it in order to make the type of connections that will make the relationship work. To do this you need to find a way to be happy on your own, and to accept the fact that it will happen when it happens. That doesn't mean that you can't go out looking for it, but there is a huge difference between meeting someone and making it work, and meeting someone who is really right for you. And to find someone who is really right sometimes you have to sit back a little bit and enjoy the ride that life offers.
Just my two cents. Oh, and also. Try online dating. Match is better than the other websites from my experience because you have to pay to be a member. People don't tend to pay for something that they aren't serious about. But again, I would really consider waiting a few more months and try to spend some time enjoying just being you again.
In parts of Manhattan and hip areas of Brooklyn you see guys with beards with above attractive women. I have see this before. But you see the op is different. He is a native native New Yorker and not a transplant. Transplant dating is very different from native New Yorker dating.
This is not true at all. Attraction is attraction no matter where you go.
Out of all of my life in NYC where I have been everywhere from the Southern tip of Staten Island to all the Up in the Bronx far East as JFK to far west as Hells Kitchen, I can attest that you would never find an attractive woman with an below average guy on the regular in NYC. Mainly its the other way around an unattractive woman with an attractive guy. I have seen models with some strange looking guys or what not, mind you these guys are not tall or have 6 packs. Guys who are tall and with 6 packs in this city are with average to below average women in this city. I see it almost everyday regardless of what neighborhoods I'm in.
I disagree with this too...
I see beautiful women with average looking guys all the time. My barber is a fat Dominican dude and his wife is smoking hot, I would of never that was his wife. The whole dynamic you laid out makes no sense. Below average women are with good looking guys? And the good looking women are also with good looking guys? What? And what exactly is considered good looking, or a woman who is a "10" as opposed to a "8"? All those things are very subjective, everyone's taste is different. One of my closest friends (he's Guyanese too btw) has been in a relationship with a stunning young lady for quite some time, and I wouldn't consider him GOOD LOOKING by any measure. However, he does dress well and keeps himself well groomed. LOOKING GOOD goes a lot further than being GOOD LOOKING in my opinion. That's just me though.
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