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Old 05-30-2016, 03:59 AM
 
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we don't live in manhattan but we do live in an upper middle class neighborhood in queens .

we retired and set a budget for the 2 of us in that 120k -135k range in retirement and it works fine . medical insurance and long term care insurance represents about 16k of that too .
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Old 05-30-2016, 06:10 AM
 
3,041 posts, read 3,888,710 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wawaweewa View Post
It is the norm. Many will not admit to it for whatever reason but it is prevalent because it's what any normal parent who is capable of doing so will do.

Thankfully, working class doesn't comprise the majority of the American population. Most US households are solidly middle class or above. Many Americans also own their own property weather they paid it off or inherited it. Let's remember that renting is not the norm in the US, although it may seem that way in NYC.

One reason for the cycle of poverty is that poor kids can't/don't receive help from their parents as they're entering adulthood. Middle class and wealthier children do and it's a HUGE leg-up. Things such inheriting a home or money creates a HUGE cushion.

As I stated earlier, many won't admit to receiving help and I encounter it even amongst my friends and acquaintances. I received help from my parents. They paid for my brother and I's education. Although we went to a state school and it was "only" 40K for 4 years each, it was a huge help not graduating with student debt.

When my brother went to grad school and I was already working, I helped him pay his way through. When he graduated and got a job, I gave him the money for 1st months and security. My grandparents also helped him at that point. I have no doubts that he would do the same for me if I asked.

I know plenty of people who had similar or much more help from their parents/grandparents/family/siblings/spouses/etc.

I've known people to receive 100k for a down payment on a home and they weren't from a wealthy family. I've know people who became nurses in NYC and their parents were still paying their student loans so that they could buy a home.

Don't expect them to just come out and tell you.
That is definitely the case for many people from middle class and wealthier backgrounds, and people don't admit it.

I have a friend who inherited a lot of money--at least $2 million (surely more, this was the cash portion). She was speaking about politics the other day and actually said that her and her husband had not gotten help from anyone! She must have forgotten that she mentioned a dollar amount to me when her husband's mother died..Anyway, people do like to think of themselves as self made.

A lot of people from working class and poor families actually have the opposite situation - they are expected to help support their parents or other relatives. It's a lot of pressure and hard to save anything that way.

Last edited by yodel; 05-30-2016 at 06:39 AM..
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Old 05-30-2016, 06:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by nyccs View Post
One reason is that they tend to help their family. When you are lending a hand financially, that drags you down and makes it harder for you to accumulate wealth. It is hard to just say no to family and even close friends.
I agree!
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Old 05-31-2016, 04:57 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, NY born & raised!
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Another thing to take into consideration is that now you have people in the 50-70 range who are caring for their elderly parents and their kids and grandkids at the same time. I see a lot of people moving back home because of student loans, rising rents, or whatever. Then the grandparents, well, they don't want to put them in a home because of the conditions. So now you have 3 generations living in the same house, so it seems like no one can get ahead except for the kids. I see this with my aunt and uncle, who are taking care of their parents and babysitting the grandkids. That's another reason some are going poor as well, having to take care of extra people they weren't planning on.
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Old 05-31-2016, 09:25 PM
 
3,327 posts, read 3,750,865 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yodel View Post
That is definitely the case for many people from middle class and wealthier backgrounds, and people don't admit it.

I have a friend who inherited a lot of money--at least $2 million (surely more, this was the cash portion). She was speaking about politics the other day and actually said that her and her husband had not gotten help from anyone! She must have forgotten that she mentioned a dollar amount to me when her husband's mother died..Anyway, people do like to think of themselves as self made.

A lot of people from working class and poor families actually have the opposite situation - they are expected to help support their parents or other relatives. It's a lot of pressure and hard to save anything that way.
Doesn't surprise me at all. It's extremely prevalent. Your example may be on the rarer end but many have help in one form or another. Your point about poorer families also holds true.

Most people are full of **** when it comes to admitting they had some good luck/have it good/have more then they deserve through skill/work. Personally, I don't understand the problem with admitting such things. Doesn't the saying go, "better lucky then good"?

When it comes to the above topics, assume most people aren't telling the truth and you're closer to the truth. lol
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