Annoying Neighbor? (New York, York: apartment, condo, co-op)

[allnaturalkiki]

I have a new neighbor some transplant from Minnesota. He leaves his keys in his apt door all day. I have to knock on his door at least 3 times a week to tell him his keys are in the door (house, car, everything). He gets locked out constantly and rings my bell yesterday at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. I think he was drunk but he also knocked on my bedroom window. He lets people in the building even though I constantly remind him there are shelters in the area and not to believe their b.s excuses. He comes to my door and ask me if i have things like flour or milk like wtf. He brought his whole family to my apartment to meet me and they literally invited themselves in (stayed for a hr). I don't even know if he works, I got the vibe his family is rich when I met them. I was nice to him the first day (gave him some food) because I kind of felt bad he was 2k for his apt (we all pay 400 in maintenance), but i made a huge mistake. I don't want to make a big deal because I'm in the process of looking for somewhere to move. But how can I nicely tell him to F off without seeming like a rude person.

[SeventhFloor]

Just stop talking to him.

[Cida]

I wish you would have mentioned his age. I'm wondering if he's very young, if it's his first apartment.

Don't blame his family for inviting themselves in. You could have politely said, Sorry, this isn't a good time. But when you happen to bump into him, just say firmly: Look, you have to understand that security is something we take seriously in NYC. And then explain, sternly.

[allnaturalkiki]

He is about my age. Im 26 maybe 24.

[jkub101]

"Excuse me, pardon me sir, but I don't mean to be rude...COULD YOU F OFF!!!!"

That always works for me. First you kill them with kindness and then draw the line in NY fashion.

[BugsyPal]

Originally Posted by allnaturalkiki

I have a new neighbor some transplant from Minnesota. He leaves his keys in his apt door all day. I have to knock on his door at least 3 times a week to tell him his keys are in the door (house, car, everything). He gets locked out constantly and rings my bell yesterday at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. I think he was drunk but he also knocked on my bedroom window. He lets people in the building even though I constantly remind him there are shelters in the area and not to believe their b.s excuses. He comes to my door and ask me if i have things like flour or milk like wtf. He brought his whole family to my apartment to meet me and they literally invited themselves in (stayed for a hr). I don't even know if he works, I got the vibe his family is rich when I met them. I was nice to him the first day (gave him some food) because I kind of felt bad he was 2k for his apt (we all pay 400 in maintenance), but i made a huge mistake. I don't want to make a big deal because I'm in the process of looking for somewhere to move. But how can I nicely tell him to F off without seeming like a rude person.

You made the first move by constantly *reminding* him of his keys being in the apartment door. That (repeated) contact obviously conveyed the message you "cared" and were open to being the friendly neighbor type.

If you are a true New Yorker especially Manhattan resident you know the drill; stay out of other people's business and they will stay out of yours. People have lived in buildings for ten, fifteen years or longer and couldn't tell you squat about their neighbors.

Your new friend is a transplant from a place that has a totally different outlook on being neighborly. Bet his former area still has Welcome Wagons and some such. *LOL* What he sees or knows about NYC apartment living probably came from televisions shows like Friends or Sex and the City where neighbors in buildings are always getting into others business if not pants.

Since you started this mess it would probably seem kind of cold to cut the guy off now. He likely will wonder "what did I do?".... This kid is a grown ass man and you aren't his Mommy or Daddy. If he leaves is keys in his front door stop running over there if you don't want to be bothered. As for knocking on your window when locked out and so forth don't answer. The bill form having to call a locksmith just once to get back into his apartment should set him straight.

[Henna]

The only problem that is not easily solvable is that the guy is compromising the security of the building by letting in non-residents.

All the other problems are solved by not answering your door. Don't answer your bell at all at 2 am. If your buzzer rings at any other time, use your peep hole to see who it is. If it's him, just don't open it. If he asks you later why you didn't open the door (if he knows somehow you are home) just say you weren't feeling well, or weren't dressed, just got out of the shower, were on the phone, whatever. When he leaves his keys in his door, ignore it.

I don't really get what the big deal is. You're complaining about the behavior of a "transplant" (a term I think you would not have used if you didn't mean it pejoratively) yet you're the New Yorker being the biggest wimp.

[BugsyPal]

Originally Posted by Henna

The only problem that is not easily solvable is that the guy is compromising the security of the building by letting in non-residents.

All the other problems are solved by not answering your door. Don't answer your bell at all at 2 am. If your buzzer rings at any other time, use your peep hole to see who it is. If it's him, just don't open it. If he asks you later why you didn't open the door (if he knows somehow you are home) just say you weren't feeling well, or weren't dressed, just got out of the shower, were on the phone, whatever. When he leaves his keys in his door, ignore it.

I don't really get what the big deal is. You're complaining about the behavior of a "transplant" (a term I think you would not have used if you didn't mean it pejoratively) yet you're the New Yorker being the biggest wimp.

If someone is letting persons into building they shouldn't the proper place to complain is to the management. If this is a condo or co-op then to the board or member of such. They will take proper steps and usually get better results than some neighbor sticking their oar in.

[allnaturalkiki]

I will complain to the board. I am close with most of my neighbors in some way since they are my grandfathers friends. I give them food, they will bring me things as well.They help me if needed and I them. I know everyone in my building. Many of them don't talk to him because they see him as the gentrifier coming to take over. Im not a true harlemnite so I'm not offended.
I'm not letting him in anymore he can bother the super. I wouldn't have been to pissed off with ringing my bell if he didn't do it at 2 am and then proceed to tap on my window. I personally have gotten locked out a few times because our building has this strange double lock system if you don't get the right timing you can be kind of screwed (they need to fix that). However, we have a super and everyone bothers him. He also can hear me open my door I guess and comes out when I take out the trash or do laundry. I will just be extra quiet.

[livingsinglenyc]

Maybe he has a crush on you