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Old 10-07-2015, 02:32 PM
 
Location: NYC
1,471 posts, read 928,761 times
Reputation: 3341

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DSNY...DirtyStayOut View Post
I'm just hoping to see some sweet brown tiddays!

They'll be as fake as the rest of her.

What's wrong with wanting to be beautiful?
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Old 10-07-2015, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
1,077 posts, read 499,739 times
Reputation: 822
In our industry it's a big no-no to misrepresent facts. OP shouldn't allow people to pigeon hole her, neither should you care.
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Old 10-08-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: NYC
281 posts, read 284,883 times
Reputation: 729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
You will have nothing in common with a native New Yorker, unless that native New Yorker spent 4-5 years in a dorm college filled majority like minded suburbanites. Even though you admitted you're willing to be open to anyone and everyone. Most likely you wont and quickly retreat amongst your cohort.
It's too bad that your experience has been as such. My wife is a native of Italian and Hispanic heritage to my Eastern Euro white guy background, and I count quite a few born and bred New Yorkers among my friends. My experience is that natives are friendly, interesting and refreshingly blunt. Good ole Southern charm and Minnesota nice tend to the passive-aggressive and grow tiresome quickly. I met most of my friends myself, not through my wife...her work schedule has prevented the socializing she finds ideal. And I know of quite a few happy, native-transplant couples, some starting families, some of whom I count among my friends. The overwhelming consensus among my group is to stay, put down roots, and settle in whatever borough and neighborhood offers interesting people who share interests and hobbies. Not the sexy, trendy one or the cool one, the one that is reasonably priced and allows for some modest savings after all the bills get paid. Of note, my circle is over 30 going up to early 50s in age, that may play a role as I am told the under-30 group has different dynamics and the destruction of the American working to middle class has hit them hard.

Education-wise and career-wise the wife is a lot closer to the stereotype of a transplant than I will ever be: works in software backed by Wall St. money, has received a head start on retirement savings (albeit from the death of Depression-era grandparents who humped away at trades jobs to enter the middle class), is constantly seeking education to keep up in field, etc. Same goes for her co-workers, NYC natives apparently comprise more than half of the employees. That's what she said () but from those I've met, this makes sense. Likewise many of those who chose to come here are lower to middle income at most, remember a lot of us are from fairly poor areas. E.g. Midwestern or Southern cities with high crime rates (my last was 2.5x the nat'l average and nearly everyone I knew had been mugged, robbed, or assaulted at one point), low-wage prospects, and soaring rents, along with the legacy of that city's Robert Moses and all his or her "wonderful" projects.

Again, it could be age. Those starting out in a career have to be transient to a certain extent...we certainly were and my wife left NYC for a time for this exact reason. Which is not to downplay the skyrocketing costs and stagnant wages in this city. I think it's criminal, and that group, despite being a small percentage of city residents, gets disproportionate airtime relative to the rest of us who work and live check to check. Then again I know all too well what it's like to be priced out of your home and pull up roots. I have done it too many times already, once having no home whatsoever.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
As for having slave ancestry embarrassing? I cnat really say. I was shocked to know my African Ancestors were free persons. Either way they still are black. BUt then again this did not happen in America. But yes some Africans look differently towards African Americans, but blacks in general who live in the new World who are descendants of slavery. But hey is the West Africans who trades slaves with Portuguese, French, Spanish and British merchants.
You might want to hop over to the Atlantic and check out Ta'Nehisi Coates who is one of the most talented journalists today and a member of a dying breed of masterful writers/historians. Although he has been extending his beat into different areas (comic books is one if I recall), he began there by writing on issues of race and class and justice in the U.S. His work is essential reading for understanding the legacy of slavery specific to the U.S. and the long-ranging effect it has had on subsequent generations, culminating, at present, with the problematic policing, courtroom, and mass incarceration tactics, the burdens of which have fallen disproportionately on Black Americans. A look at his longform pieces is worth your while.

Last edited by Mr.BadGuy; 10-08-2015 at 09:25 AM..
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:17 AM
 
Location: NYC
281 posts, read 284,883 times
Reputation: 729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I primarily find that most of the venom is spewed from black men. They seem to hate black American women. There are a lot of black guys on social media who say the most hateful, disrespectful comments towards black American women. They always state, "this only applies to black American women, not black women of non black American ancestry."
Social media and online commenting generally strikes me as very toxic and negative toward women and minorities. For that very reason, I stay away from it and ignore people who try to paint an entire race or gender as this way or that.

The trouble is if it seeps into real life. I can't speak to your experiences, but I know people who have received death threats or been "doxxed" (had all their information shared without their permission). It can get insanely over the top when people get together and start talking smack. I especially despise the people who come into Facebook discussions and start baiting for the fun of it. Several women in my life, including my wife, have felt it was better to just cut out social media entirely since the aggression and hostilities weren't worth the perceived benefits. Then again, it can be a crucial social lifeline when you're new to an area, definitely was for me. I'm sorry you have experienced this cruelty.
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Old 10-08-2015, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,224 posts, read 26,569,016 times
Reputation: 9063
I want some FUFU!
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Old 10-08-2015, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Prince George's County, Maryland
6,212 posts, read 7,061,429 times
Reputation: 2581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I just moved from another state (in the Midwest) to NYC. I am wondering if people believe it's wrong for me to claim a new identity, now that I'm in a new location? I ask because, over and over, I would hear the worst stereotypes about women like me (I happen to be black American). I do not fit those stereotypes, and was so tired of being judged and criticized by others for simply being a black American woman.

Long story short, I am college educated and 20 something. Upon relocating, I decided to take on a new identity. Since I repeatedly hear how black women from other cultures are so much more classier than black American women, I essentially tell people (if/when) they ask, that I'm not black American. I have noticed that people, particularly men treat me in a much better fashion and tend to be so much kinder.

Has anyone else noticed this as well? I am just amazed, because I'm the same person. I don't behave any differently, I just notice there is a very remarkable difference in how I'm treated.
Allow me to say this as a college-educated 23 year old Black American man, f#%k what other people think about you. You're beautiful just the way you are. Every single person of the Afrikan Diaspora and of Melanin are the most beautiful people on Earth, most especially Black American women. Maybe it was the environment you grew up in but trust and believe, there's a treasure trove of classy Black American women out there, you'll definitely find them up in NYC and there's a strong number of them down here in the DC area too. You're perfect just the way you are, DON'T LET NOBODY tell you otherwise, Eye don't care who it is. Be yourself and do you, and if the people you talk to who aren't aware of you being Black American have an issue with that, then their asses are fake to be blunt. Hold your head and crown up high Queen, just do you and stay TRUE to yourself. Best of luck
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:21 PM
 
1,957 posts, read 1,053,198 times
Reputation: 768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I will continue to state that I'm Ghanaian American because I prefer their culture. I do not identify as "black American."
You are not Ghanaian.

You are too far removed culturally to be Ghanaian. Love yourself and accept who you are.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:23 PM
 
1,957 posts, read 1,053,198 times
Reputation: 768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
If I do take a DNA test and discover my Ghanaian ancestry, I will continue to state that I'm Ghanaian American (as well as the other admixtures that are included). I do not like the label "black" because it's absolutely meaningless and doesn't state anything about one's true culture/ethnic origin (or color for that matter) because I've yet to meet a truly "black" person.

Lastly, the construct of "black" is primarily derived from an artificial/false "culture" that is largely based on victimhood and pathology. Again, I choose NOT to identify as such. You may believe there is no shame in adhering to such a destructive label, but I certainly see the shame and defeat of a people who have allowed other's to define their norms and values.

NO THANK YOU!
This thread is not only a true display of your ignorance, but shows how much of an idiot you are.

What makes it quite remarkable is that you are truly clueless of your ignorance.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:26 PM
 
1,957 posts, read 1,053,198 times
Reputation: 768
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I graduated from an elite university that I'm very proud of...it's not Princeton, but I'm ok with that.
Ok now I think your just a troll.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:31 PM
 
1,957 posts, read 1,053,198 times
Reputation: 768
Quote:
Originally Posted by NyWriterdude View Post
Well you guys on this forum say all sorts of terrible things about African Americans. Saying those things have consequences and clearly some African Americans do what they have to do escape from them.

Whether bleaching one's skin (Michael, Vanessa, Lil Kim) or changing one's nationality (the OP) people do what they have to do to protect themselves.

The OP could be trolling but she could be SERIOUS.
As painful as truth is, she is not Ghanaian and will never be.

Only in her fantasy world is she Ghanaian.

She needs to look into the mirror and say, "Mirror mirror on the wall, am I fooling my black self at all."

I hope she gains the courage and strength to overcome her inferiority complex.

Last edited by Relaxx; 10-08-2015 at 09:49 PM..
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