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Old 10-04-2015, 04:10 PM
 
57 posts, read 30,810 times
Reputation: 25

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I just moved from another state (in the Midwest) to NYC. I am wondering if people believe it's wrong for me to claim a new identity, now that I'm in a new location? I ask because, over and over, I would hear the worst stereotypes about women like me (I happen to be black American). I do not fit those stereotypes, and was so tired of being judged and criticized by others for simply being a black American woman.

Long story short, I am college educated and 20 something. Upon relocating, I decided to take on a new identity. Since I repeatedly hear how black women from other cultures are so much more classier than black American women, I essentially tell people (if/when) they ask, that I'm not black American. I have noticed that people, particularly men treat me in a much better fashion and tend to be so much kinder.

Has anyone else noticed this as well? I am just amazed, because I'm the same person. I don't behave any differently, I just notice there is a very remarkable difference in how I'm treated.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Parkway,The Bronx
8,396 posts, read 19,715,449 times
Reputation: 6223
What's your new identity ?
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Bronx
14,984 posts, read 17,543,834 times
Reputation: 7573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I just moved from another state (in the Midwest) to NYC. I am wondering if people believe it's wrong for me to claim a new identity, now that I'm in a new location? I ask because, over and over, I would hear the worst stereotypes about women like me (I happen to be black American). I do not fit those stereotypes, and was so tired of being judged and criticized by others for simply being a black American woman.

Long story short, I am college educated and 20 something. Upon relocating, I decided to take on a new identity. Since I repeatedly hear how black women from other cultures are so much more classier than black American women, I essentially tell people (if/when) they ask, that I'm not black American. I have noticed that people, particularly men treat me in a much better fashion and tend to be so much kinder.

Has anyone else noticed this as well? I am just amazed, because I'm the same person. I don't behave any differently, I just notice there is a very remarkable difference in how I'm treated.
Did you tell men, particularly white men that you are Canadian and like hockey? You're a transplant. Black transplants to a certain degree are are culturally and academically similar to white people due to suburban upbringing. In matter of fact I don't see much difference between black and white Midwestern transplants. And I lump you guys in a same racial group aka fly over country.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:35 PM
 
Location: NYC
516 posts, read 654,138 times
Reputation: 586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I just moved from another state (in the Midwest) to NYC. I am wondering if people believe it's wrong for me to claim a new identity, now that I'm in a new location? I ask because, over and over, I would hear the worst stereotypes about women like me (I happen to be black American). I do not fit those stereotypes, and was so tired of being judged and criticized by others for simply being a black American woman.

Long story short, I am college educated and 20 something. Upon relocating, I decided to take on a new identity. Since I repeatedly hear how black women from other cultures are so much more classier than black American women, I essentially tell people (if/when) they ask, that I'm not black American. I have noticed that people, particularly men treat me in a much better fashion and tend to be so much kinder.

Has anyone else noticed this as well? I am just amazed, because I'm the same person. I don't behave any differently, I just notice there is a very remarkable difference in how I'm treated.
First off, you shouldn't care what others say/feel about you. You should be proud of who you are no matter what! Having said that, you're worrying about the wrong thing because you're awesome for being a black American woman. You should be truly concerned about being a transplant because we really hate you guys. Stay in the midwest or go to California. STOP COMING HERE!!! You're pricing us regular folks out! F U!
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:42 PM
 
Location: West Harlem
6,886 posts, read 7,871,543 times
Reputation: 3001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle_A View Post
I just moved from another state (in the Midwest) to NYC. I am wondering if people believe it's wrong for me to claim a new identity, now that I'm in a new location? I ask because, over and over, I would hear the worst stereotypes about women like me (I happen to be black American). I do not fit those stereotypes, and was so tired of being judged and criticized by others for simply being a black American woman.

Long story short, I am college educated and 20 something. Upon relocating, I decided to take on a new identity. Since I repeatedly hear how black women from other cultures are so much more classier than black American women, I essentially tell people (if/when) they ask, that I'm not black American. I have noticed that people, particularly men treat me in a much better fashion and tend to be so much kinder.

Has anyone else noticed this as well? I am just amazed, because I'm the same person. I don't behave any differently, I just notice there is a very remarkable difference in how I'm treated.

I could not even begin to comment on this, only hope that you will not appear in front of one of my professional hiring committees. Too much crazy there. Lying is just never good.

Reinvent yourself ... for what purpose ? Do you really plan to marry someone who does not know who you are ? Could you even make friends with someone under those conditions ?

And you have not reinvented anything. You are just falsely presenting yourself.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Bronx
14,984 posts, read 17,543,834 times
Reputation: 7573
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedog2 View Post
What's your new identity ?
Batman.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:49 PM
 
Location: West Harlem
6,886 posts, read 7,871,543 times
Reputation: 3001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
Batman.
I am guessing something far less interesting and with none of the benevolence.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:49 PM
 
57 posts, read 30,810 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkub101 View Post
First off, you shouldn't care what others say/feel about you. You should be proud of who you are no matter what! Having said that, you're worrying about the wrong thing because you're awesome for being a black American woman. You should be truly concerned about being a transplant because we really hate you guys. Stay in the midwest or go to California. STOP COMING HERE!!! You're pricing us regular folks out! F U!
Thanks for your kind words about being awesome, but trust me, I'm not pricing regular folks out. I work for an accounting firm and live in a studio apartment. Much of my pay goes toward rent, but I am happy to be in NYC. I chose to move here due to a great job opportunity, but it is a big city and sometimes I feel so self conscious about my interactions with people. Some people claim that NYC is accepting, but I don't really find that to be true.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:52 PM
 
57 posts, read 30,810 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harlem resident View Post
I could not even begin to comment on this, only hope that you will not appear in front of one of my professional hiring committees. Too much crazy there. Lying is just never good.

Reinvent yourself ... for what purpose ? Do you really plan to marry someone who does not know who you are ? Could you even make friends with someone under those conditions ?

And you have not reinvented anything. You are just falsely presenting yourself.
I know it's not the right thing to do, but again, I was tired of being stereotyped. If I connected with the right person, I would tell them eventually, but as it stands, I often tell people who inquire about my background that I was born in the U.S., but my family is from Ghana.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:54 PM
 
57 posts, read 30,810 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronxguyanese View Post
Did you tell men, particularly white men that you are Canadian and like hockey? You're a transplant. Black transplants to a certain degree are are culturally and academically similar to white people due to suburban upbringing. In matter of fact I don't see much difference between black and white Midwestern transplants. And I lump you guys in a same racial group aka fly over country.
I primarily find that most of the venom is spewed from black men. They seem to hate black American women. There are a lot of black guys on social media who say the most hateful, disrespectful comments towards black American women. They always state, "this only applies to black American women, not black women of non black American ancestry."
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