Trying to be a server/Have to be HOT (fit in, hotel)

[May0Daddy54]

Despite the name, I'm actually a 21 yo female. I've been trying to get in inexperienced as a server for some t time now and get some experience here in NY so I can move elsewhere and take that with me as a side gig after a minimum of like a year. I'm really fed up with seeing that women in the city have to be super hot to get in inexperienced. I have the dedication to learn on my own and from others. I have a short but pretty damn sweet resume with something in it that most people my age haven't achieved (Can't say exactly what because I worry it can be used for identification if the world is really such a small place). I am not completely ignorant about the industry I know people who used to work in it for a very long time as servers and bartenders and a chef. I'm losing my marbles, what exactly would someone in employee relations/hiring managers be looking for when they hire inexperienced people besides good looks, languages and availability? I read somewhere once that they also look for university students to bring customers in but I'm not studying here in the city I want to study in another state and I don't mention it unless I'm asked about where/if I go to university here.

Also, for a few catering places that requested photos. Women would not respond to me after I sent a photo. But for the very few interviews I had with actual bars/restaurants in the city I was told I'd have to sleep with them (men) for a job. (Which obviously didn't happen hence why I'm making this thread after almost a year of trying to get in). It seems like women hiring managers are looking for high fashion model type employees and men are down with someone who looks okay. (I don't think I'm ugly I'm just not super hot. If anything I look and sound much younger than I am and don't have conventionally 'hot' features)

What kind of advice can I get in regards to entering this industry that has nothing to do with looks? Or is there anyone here experienced who knows of someone really cool who's willing to at least interview inexperienced folks? I'm not against paying for classes and stuff and I know what kind of knowledge I need to have to serve in nyc which I am working on and about to get certificates for. It's like nothing I do matters here and I cannot afford to move away from ny yet. Specifically looking to work in brooklyn or nyc since those are where I am the most and most familiar with.

[Moving415]

I would try higher-end places. Develop an expertise, or feign one or express genuine interest, in wine, food, etc., and apply to places where that kind of expertise would be valued--higher-end places, where they care about what they're serving. Also, I believe this photo thing might be illegal, because it could lead to charges of discrimination. As far as the men who essentially propositioned you? Report their bloody a--es to the appropriate city authority. Select your restaurants carefully--and research what they're about, their cuisine, their wines. And talk that up. Don't just apply scattershot to places (that's true when looking for any job). Good luck.

[livingsinglenyc]

Originally Posted by Moving415

Also, I believe this photo thing might be illegal, because it could lead to charges of discrimination.

If you are paid as a 1099 worker, they are allowed to ask for a photo since they aren't your employer you just freelance with them.

[May0Daddy54]

Originally Posted by Moving415

I would try higher-end places. Develop an expertise, or feign one or express genuine interest, in wine, food, etc., and apply to places where that kind of expertise would be valued--higher-end places, where they care about what they're serving. Also, I believe this photo thing might be illegal, because it could lead to charges of discrimination. As far as the men who essentially propositioned you? Report their bloody a--es to the appropriate city authority. Select your restaurants carefully--and research what they're about, their cuisine, their wines. And talk that up. Don't just apply scattershot to places (that's true when looking for any job). Good luck.

Thank you for your response. This is the only comment I've ever seen that told someone inexperienced to try an upscale place and I by no means mean that as an insult, it makes me feel optimistic. I also appreciate the advice on how to approch those places specifically, thank you kindly. As far as reporting the perverts. I considered it but, I guess I'd need to record some evidence first.

[livingsinglenyc]

Originally Posted by May0Daddy54

Despite the name, I'm actually a 21 yo female. I've been trying to get in inexperienced as a server for some t time now and get some experience here in NY so I can move elsewhere and take that with me as a side gig after a minimum of like a year.

You have two issues going on here one is you have no experience and two you may not have the look they are looking for. What kind of places are you, have you been applying to?
Even "hot" people as you worded doesn't get good paying gigs in the service industry without experience.

[May0Daddy54]

Originally Posted by livingsinglenyc

You have two issues going on here one is you have no experience and two you may not have the look they are looking for. What kind of places are you, have you been applying to?
Even "hot" people as you worded doesn't get good paying gigs in the service industry without experience.

I don't mind starting from the bottom and working my way up to better gigs either. I've been applying to places that claim to have casual environments but are in good neigborhoods. And some catering agencies

[EastBoundandDownChick]

I can't imagine having to sleep with someone to get a job. I've been a server and bartender a long time (do it now on the side and I'm 35, far from "young"). When I started out I was lucky, I went to an interview and the hiring manager was from literally the same town as me back in the Midwest. All it takes it one break, once you're on the inside of the business everyone networks. I'd suggest being a server assistant at a high-end place. Also, you could work at a Manhattan diner if you know how to sell yourself. It really isn't all about looks. Personality plays a huge role. I'm decent looking but by no means a model and I've managed to do well for myself. Be aware that style also plays a role- you have to fit into the culture of the business and the neighborhood. That means the right makeup, hair, etc. When I bartend I'll spend nearly two hours getting ready but the reality is people respond to confidence... and when I'm done up I feel at my best. Not to mention you are in the fashion capitol of the WORLD. You have to fit in, it has little to do with pretty and everything to do with brains, a strategy, hustle, and hard work. I use YSL, Chanel, Tom Ford, and all high-end skincare, keep my look current and spend a lot on my hair, extensions, etc. It adds up to thousands. But think return on investment. I can make a grand in one night so it pays itself back quickly. Trust me when I say I'm nothing special and when I wake up in the morning I'm nothing to look at, even a lot of models and celebs are that way. It's a curated image. Being a wallflower will get you ignored.

[kapikap]

You have to look beyond single business resturaunts. Look into major hotel chains, there are more oppurtunities , as they have banquet functions as well.

They dont always look for the hot girl, but more for serious employees. Go to any hotel website and apply for it all!

[Kefir King]

Sad state of affairs that you need to be HOT and be able to carry a hamburger to be a hamburger server????

[That_One_Guy]

I used to work in the service industry. I was a bartender in Manhattan. Honestly with these types of jobs you can just BS it when they ask you about experience.

On a separate note, I'm not a lawyer or anything but I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment. Is there anyway you can report those guys?