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Old 07-08-2018, 06:30 AM
 
1,063 posts, read 326,504 times
Reputation: 1423

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Please people cut the idealistic crap.

This is a major move and fraught with risk. OP really needs to have his ducks in a row and ideally a $25k emergency fund (which should be possible to save in his lower COL area) along with multiple contacts and back up opportunities lined up in case it is a bad culture fit at his company's NYC office.

Hands down the worst possible scenario is being in a new place with sh*** working conditions with co-workers you hate. Even though he mentioned he has family and friends here will they be there for you when things get rough and let you sleep on their couch until you get back on track?

Prepare for the worst first, THEN and only then hope for the best!!!

OP what industry/field are you in?
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Manhattan
20,193 posts, read 26,531,257 times
Reputation: 9059
Stay in Colorado, a 50K salary change is too brutal.


Women are women, the same mentality in NYC as in Denver. Use some of the extra money for some classy whores as needed.


Food? You can learn a few kitchen tricks and make some good meals.


I liked the 14K plastic bag over the head comment. I once drove to the top of Mount Evans at 15,000 feet (pity the car) and the air was so crisp and sweet smelling I went for a very short jog, soon throwing up by the roadside...yes, we DO need oxygen.
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:41 AM
 
Location: New York, USA
72 posts, read 321,684 times
Reputation: 54
One option is to try to get a better, higher paying job in NYC and then move. Why is that not a consideration? The OP is young, this can wait a year or two. Save up some more money to have more of a reserve fund in case things don't work out, get a really good job offer in NYC and then move.

As far as people saying that this risky, don't do it, etc. The is 30. Isn't that the best age to try the new things? Especially in this market with the 4% unemployment? The change is fun. The change and new opportunities is what makes life interesting. Worst comes to worse, he will find another job - in NYC, Colorado or any other city or state.
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Old 07-08-2018, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
5,581 posts, read 5,387,603 times
Reputation: 3028
Not a good enough reason to make that move.

For women, hell no; not moving anywhere to meet women in general meeting women was never a problem quality women are everywhere.

For a woman; definitely. Done it before I'd do it again.

If you're from upstate you already know what the City is like, so I would not waste my time because if you were interested in making the type of sacrifices that it takes to live in the City you would have done it by now.

As others have stated, you're probably romanticizing your ideas of what the city was when you were growing up.

Like I would never move to Colorado. The least of which the demographic percentages which depress me having grown up in Ohio it sounds very similar. In fact I believe that Ohio is 80% White so Colorado sounds even worse. But you're there, and you're making money and can experience it in unique and interesting ways. Why would you want to give that up to be in NYC just to move down several notches?

You could look at it from the perspective of what you can offer here in NYC. And there is room to grow too. And I guess you're so over Colorado.

But don't do it for the women. Please don't. Absolute worst reason to make those types of decisions.
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:23 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,457 posts, read 50,708,759 times
Reputation: 60432
I think the people who are focusing on the career are missing what I see as the main theme of the OP--He does not like the Colorado lifestyle and doesn't fit in with it, and it doesn't sound as if he's going to get into it anytime soon.

Life is short. While the career is important, so is location. You can be miserable in an environment that is not for you.

OP, do you see the pay cut as temporary? In other words, is it likely that your pay will hover around that level for a while, or do you see yourself able to move ahead in the next few years in your field?
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Old 07-08-2018, 06:51 PM
 
1,063 posts, read 326,504 times
Reputation: 1423
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I think the people who are focusing on the career are missing what I see as the main theme of the OP--He does not like the Colorado lifestyle and doesn't fit in with it, and it doesn't sound as if he's going to get into it anytime soon.

Life is short. While the career is important, so is location. You can be miserable in an environment that is not for you.

OP, do you see the pay cut as temporary? In other words, is it likely that your pay will hover around that level for a while, or do you see yourself able to move ahead in the next few years in your field?
I don't like Philly that much. But if my employer offered to pay me $50k more to live there I would bite the bullet. That is a life changing amount of money. I believe OP said the difference could be that large.
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Old 07-08-2018, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
19,114 posts, read 10,128,454 times
Reputation: 27998
I happened to see this thread - I'm a native New Yorker. Admittedly haven't lived there in a few decades, though I visited regularly before I moved to Denver a decade or so ago.

Anyway, to address some of your concerns.

Yes Denver is brown in terms of the environment compared to back East, there's no getting around that. I miss the green, but I accept it as a trade off for the non-sweltering summers and the non-bone chilling raw winters.

Food - sorry but I think you are missing the mark. No one here thinks Chipotle is "real" Mexican food. No one is proud of Tokyo Joe's. Anthony Bourdain changed his mind since his comments in 2002. It sounds like you are basing your opinion on chain restaurants, rather than the dozens of new independent restaurants that have been opening every year. Unless this is a new user name for you, you've never posted in the Denver forum here. There are plenty of foodies there who will be more than happy to give you recommendations to try.

For dating, try a matchmaking service. NOT online dating, but an actual in person matchmaking service. You will meet someone who is successful enough to afford the fees and thus not someone who is working a crap job to make ends meet enough to cover their snowboarding lifestyle. But they are also serious enough to be looking for a relationship that they presumably are not living to work either. And they should be able to match you with someone who enjoys the occasional weekend away in a quaint mountain town but isn't obsessed with the camping, mountain climbing etc. aspect of the Denver lifestyle, and trust me, they are out there.

New York is great, don't get me wrong. I understand why so many people are drawn to it enough to want to move there. But usually, they are getting some bump in salary that makes it at least a bit less of a lifestyle difference. Denver is getting more expensive all the time, but if you are looking at a 130K salary here, that still goes an extremely long way compared to 80K in New York.

My advice is to stick around for a while longer. Try some of my suggestions and see what happens. Ride that fast track career path for a while longer. If you still feel like NYC is calling in a few more years, you'll be that much further along in your career and hopefully be able to find a higher level position in NYC that would pay enough to make the move not be such a huge lifestyle drop. Or who knows, you could end up meeting Miss Right, figure out your favorite dozen restaurants to visit together, and enjoy the very nice lifestyle your increasing salary will provide for you here.
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Old 07-08-2018, 08:30 PM
 
3 posts, read 1,648 times
Reputation: 10
I don't exactly know how to reply to people directly, so here it goes:

@LeoNYC - My pay is largely based on commissions. My sales territory right now is fully worked, healthy pipeline, and large deals set to close very soon. Starting over from scratch doubles my workload with no guarantees for the same success. A lot of these relationships have taken years to cultivate to get them to a closing stage, so I can foresee this pay cut being immediate, and long lasting and worst case scenario being fired from a move as this job is performance based.

I understand there are other sales jobs, but the grass is not always greener on the other side. I know top reps who have moved companies to go from 150k to 200k, and then found themselves floundering with a company that didn't have the same culture, and are drowning by job hopping just trying and get back to where they were. It's happened with 4 people so far in the same fashion.


I can see moving employers entirely as a similar risk, I play for the New England Patriots, but I might not be the same caliber receiver on say the Browns.

As for bankrolling a move, I could lose my job here, or in NYC, and probably not have to work for at least 5 years, but I don't see that as safety net money, I see that as buying a home money.

To shoot everyone straight, (embarrassingly so, but no one knows who I am) Culture is part of the move yes and with that solves the food side of things which I hate out here, but really the move is about finding a long term partner. My reasoning is being around women with a similar mindset vastly increases my chances, and NYC attracts that similar mindset/lifestyle that I relate to.

Have I met every girl there is to meet in Colorado. Nope. Have I explained to three different women what a 401k was, yes. Have I explained to two other women in their late 20's why paying just the interest on their student loans isn't going to get rid of them, yes as well. Have I explained to two other women why I'm going to continue eating meat, and although i'm fine with them being a vegetarian, I can't join them on their journey, yes as well.

The ones that don't fall into the above category, want to set up camp 10 miles in the wilderness and camp there, they generally have it together in most other ways. I'm the guy who plays along until I see a rattle snake (true story) and I'm like **** this can we go home, crack a beer watch some football? I go on these hikes pretending like I'm interested, and when I stop and "take pictures" I'm really just trying to catch my breath and not look completely soft.

So it's lifestyle (with the main point being finding a partner) vs career, which is a very hard dilemma as I'm equally as money motivated as I am.
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Old 07-08-2018, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,534 posts, read 2,546,401 times
Reputation: 2578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kefir King View Post
Women are women, the same mentality in NYC as in Denver. Use some of the extra money for some classy whores as needed.

^this



Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDecisions View Post

Have I met every girl there is to meet in Colorado. Nope. Have I explained to three different women what a 401k was, yes. Have I explained to two other women in their late 20's why paying just the interest on their student loans isn't going to get rid of them, yes as well. Have I explained to two other women why I'm going to continue eating meat, and although i'm fine with them being a vegetarian, I can't join them on their journey, yes as well.

The ones that don't fall into the above category, want to set up camp 10 miles in the wilderness and camp there, they generally have it together in most other ways. I'm the guy who plays along until I see a rattle snake (true story) and I'm like **** this can we go home, crack a beer watch some football? I go on these hikes pretending like I'm interested, and when I stop and "take pictures" I'm really just trying to catch my breath and not look completely soft.

buy a gun or crossbow for the rattlesnakes.



Maybe you should move south instead for the women. They like beer and college football on the weekends


just remember. attachment causes suffering
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Old 07-08-2018, 11:27 PM
 
161 posts, read 72,768 times
Reputation: 182
Sounds like the women you’re meeting in Colorado are ambition-less hippie types. Are they 90% of your dating pool? Is there really very little exception?

If so NYC could be a decent move but more fish in the city = more competition. If you’re looking for a smart, ambitious, cultured woman who knows how to manage her finances AND is attractive, you should be all of those things and more in order to get a date. Yes, more. Because any moderately attractive woman has several dozen guys messaging her each week.

So if you’re good looking then this could really work in your favor.
Statistically though, and based on your dating track record, you likely look very average.

But even if you look like average Joe, tinder isn’t the only way to meet women of course, and there’s nothing wrong with dating a woman at your appearance level (many men strive for someone higher and end up bitter, see MechaMan in this very thread). More importantly it’s not only about your romantic life. I would haaaate living in an all white city full of hippie vegan outdoorsy types. You’ll like NYC better for sure. Try it out for a couple years at least. Make the move
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