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...what makes you stay instead of moving to Westchester or Connecticut?
I ask because my husband just accepted a job in the Financial District and we're trying to figure out where to live. We have four kids (11, 8, 6, and 4) and are coming from the Northern Virginia suburbs. We love NYC and I have always wanted to live there. I have fantasized about city-living for years, even with our family. I have a small-space living board on Pinterest where I daydream about simplifying and downsizing and letting the city be our yard.
BUT...now that we actually have this opportunity and I'm thinking through the logistics of daily life, I'm not so sure. Maybe my fantasy was just that? A fantasy. When I started looking in Connecticut, everything made more sense.
The problem is my husband's commute. We've pretty much accepted that with his job, we will always face this tension between short commute/small living space vs. long commute/comfortable living space. We've been doing the long commute thing for several years now and we've gotten fairly used to it (it helps that he works from home a couple days a week, which he'll be able to do in NYC as well). But I know it's hard on him and a shorter commute would be life changing. I'm just trying to figure out if that can work for the rest of us.
Basically, I know all the arguments for staying in the suburbs and maintaining my soccer mom/minivan life (not least of which is that my kids are used to it). But for those larger families that live in the city, what makes you stay? Do you ever think about leaving?
How long will his commute be? And how will he commute to the city?
From the Connecticut towns we're considering? About an hour and a half, by train. (And he does work on the train, so it's not necessarily wasted time.)
Why not consider some areas of middle ground in the outer boroughs where you could have a house but don't need the minivan? Commuting time would be more than Manhattan and less than Westchester.
I've got 2 friends who have 3 kids. One lives in an apartment in Manhattan and the other lives in a house in a sem- suburban part of the Bronx and commute by Metro North. Neither are probably in the same income bracket as your family but both situations seem to work for both of them. They both have small cars by the way. Just me but the friends I had who moved to Westchester ended up getting jobs up there instead of commuting because they found it too time consuming. (Oh, I see it's CT rather than Westchester you're looking at but it's probably similar lifestyle/commute time).
An hour plus by train isn't *that* bad, more so if only done a few times per week. The trade off of having a larger home with greater space for yourselves and family (and pets). Depending upon your husband's employer he might be able to schedule is days in office so travel is off peak. That is go in early so he can leave before the madness of 5PM rush hour. This all of course will depend on the train schedule.
Quite honestly unless you have (and or willing to spend) several or near ten million, finding something large enough (co-op or condo) in Manhattan for a family of six is going to be a challenge. Rental wise you will be looking at well > several thousand per month. For that kind of money you can buy in the suburbs and get far more space, better public schools and other amenities for your money.
Yes, living in Manhattan with a family can be an amazing experience, especially for the children. But four children and two adults would be very much living on top of each other in all but the largest NYC apartments.
Downsizing isn't the word, you'd have to pare down to the bare essentials and even then trying to cram yourself, husband and kids into a two or three bedroom apartment. Again such units exist, but anything decent is going to cost dear.
Research the archives of Sunday New York Times real estate section. At least once a month or more often they profile a family who has moved out of Manhattan to the suburbs due to space needs. Usually this means a growing family.
The reason people stay is because NY is not just Manhattan. There are plenty of areas in the other boroughs that you can buy a home in a nice, residential area and hop the train into the city for exploration. There are express buses into the city if you don't want to deal with the subway on a day to day basis. You have to decide if it is okay with you to not have the fancy address in the city. If that is not an issue, there are plenty of nice areas to live.
The reason people stay is because NY is not just Manhattan. There are plenty of areas in the other boroughs that you can buy a home in a nice, residential area and hop the train into the city for exploration. There are express buses into the city if you don't want to deal with the subway on a day to day basis. You have to decide if it is okay with you to not have the fancy address in the city. If that is not an issue, there are plenty of nice areas to live.
We've definitely considered a lot of these. But if the commute is still nearly an hour (which it seems to be from most places--even Park Slope is 40 minutes), it's really hard to swallow paying over $1 million dollars for a small dated home when for just 30 more minutes on the train, we can have a large beautiful one on a couple acres. That's why we kinda feel like we want to choose between going small with a short commute (preferably 30-ish minutes or less) or just sucking up the long commute and getting more for our money. The in-between seems to be the worst of both worlds rather than the best of both.
Should we also be looking in places like Jersey City? My husband's bank is on the west side of Manhattan, so the commute from NJ is shorter. (Why do I have hang-ups about NJ?)
We've definitely considered a lot of these. But if the commute is still nearly an hour (which it seems to be from most places--even Park Slope is 40 minutes), it's really hard to swallow paying over $1 million dollars for a small dated home when for just 30 more minutes on the train, we can have a large beautiful one on a couple acres. That's why we kinda feel like we want to choose between going small with a short commute (preferably 30-ish minutes or less) or just sucking up the long commute and getting more for our money. The in-between seems to be the worst of both worlds rather than the best of both.
Should we also be looking in places like Jersey City? My husband's bank is on the west side of Manhattan, so the commute from NJ is shorter. (Why do I have hang-ups about NJ?)
Someone who has done their homework! That's how you roll!
Many around here either do not know or care to that commute from many parts of Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island are long as (or even longer) than from some suburbs.
As for Jersey City, you don't want to live there; not really a suburban feel at all, nor entirely safe either.
IMHO your first and foremost question is the school system; public or private. After all you have four children to worry about and even if you found your ideal "urban" home, it will mean nothing if local schools are horrible.
We've definitely considered a lot of these. But if the commute is still nearly an hour (which it seems to be from most places--even Park Slope is 40 minutes), it's really hard to swallow paying over $1 million dollars for a small dated home when for just 30 more minutes on the train, we can have a large beautiful one on a couple acres. That's why we kinda feel like we want to choose between going small with a short commute (preferably 30-ish minutes or less) or just sucking up the long commute and getting more for our money. The in-between seems to be the worst of both worlds rather than the best of both.
Should we also be looking in places like Jersey City? My husband's bank is on the west side of Manhattan, so the commute from NJ is shorter. (Why do I have hang-ups about NJ?)
I had high income earning friends working in the Financial District who moved to Jersey City specifically to avoid having to pay the additional NYC income tax. In their tax bracket, that extra tax added up to a significant amount of money. After they had kids, they moved further into NJ to Short Hills.
That said, I don't know anything about NJ so can't help you there.
One other thing you need to think about is schools. In NY it can be pretty complicated. Both my NYC born nephews attend public high schools that are really hard to get into (Hunter and Stuyvesant). If kids don't have the aptitude for those specialized high schools, it seems they could end up in a bad school. That is, unless you have the $$ to pay for private schools.
We've definitely considered a lot of these. But if the commute is still nearly an hour (which it seems to be from most places--even Park Slope is 40 minutes), it's really hard to swallow paying over $1 million dollars for a small dated home when for just 30 more minutes on the train, we can have a large beautiful one on a couple acres. That's why we kinda feel like we want to choose between going small with a short commute (preferably 30-ish minutes or less) or just sucking up the long commute and getting more for our money. The in-between seems to be the worst of both worlds rather than the best of both.
Should we also be looking in places like Jersey City? My husband's bank is on the west side of Manhattan, so the commute from NJ is shorter. (Why do I have hang-ups about NJ?)
No way is park slope to the financial district 40 mins. A spot near the F train is 15-20 mins MAX from there. You also won’t get anything in park slope but a 2 bedroom condo for a million. A dated home such as a townhouse or brownstone is in the 1.5 million at minimum.
Also keep in mind, the out state trains frequently have issues, what’s his back up plan options? You only leave yourself one way to get home and go work. Atleast in the city worse comes to worse there are multiple train lines/Lyft/Uber/taxi/buses etc
Jersey isn’t bad however jersey city for example you’ll still be paying 1.5 st minimum for enough space and in a good area. Jersey city has some not so nice areas.
You really only have one way of looking at this, either pay more for accessibility or get more for your money. Gotta decide what’s more important. Everything is priced accordingly for both scenarios. Budget comes first
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