Rochester vs. Brooklyn - Where should we go? (Southampton, Marlboro: real estate, apartment)

[weetabix wife]

Hi there. I have been reading every post about NYC and Rochester on this site for weeks. I have been trying to find that ONE thing that is going to "cap" it for me on a decision of whether to go to Rochester or Brooklyn that is tearing my insides out. So. I am here to ask all of you fine forum posters your opinion...

Here is the background:

I am originally from Rochester, NY and have lived in different areas of the USA + Europe. I currently live in England with my British husband and we are looking to move to the States after my being here with him for three years after moving from LA.

We live in a mid-sized city on the south coast of England an hour+ outside of London. We like being in a smaller city over here and to have access to London anytime we choose for all of the things we can't get from where we live (great live music, museums, etc.).

These are the facts:

Past

- I commuted to and from London for a high level job every day and after a while, found it really hard (4 hour daily commute).

- We live in a 1 bedroom, 475 square foot flat that cost us $275,000 over here. It is too small and we feel on top of one another all the time.

Current

- We are 33 and 34 years old with no children yet but really want them in the near future.

- There are two job offers for me on the table. One in Rochester, NY with a great job that would pay me 84K/annually at a company known for it's decline in Rochester in the past few decades but this job is safe. The other is a phenomenal start-up (that is in the news every other day and just received 30M in venture capital that could be all over an IPO in 4 years) in Brooklyn would pay me 90K/annually.

- We already have a property (1100 sq. ft) that we invested in and currently rent out in Rochester, NY (South Wedge to be exact). All we would have to do is move in and pay a total of about $1000 for mortgage, utilities and taxes. In Brooklyn, I would have to share an apt. with a stranger for a few months until my husband comes arrives on his visa and then we would have to find a rental since NYC real estate is insane.

- NYC has so much going on culturally as far as arts, music, etc. which are all of our interests right there in front of us. We would never be bored, ever. Rochester doesn't have as much choice and I am afraid my husband will find it boring, we would just have to dig a bit more I think.

- My family still live in Rochester. We know a few acquaintances in NYC.

- Brooklyn is booming, Rochester is declining.

Now, I know all of the positives and negatives about each city. "Rochester is a great place to raise kids but is declining." "NYC is no longer affordable to live, prices keep going up especially in real estate, it is dirty, not a great place to raise kids but there is so much going on as far as jobs, nightlife, culture, entertainment, etc."

I realize that all of this is probably pointing to Rochester but I guess I am wondering if you had all of these negative facts about each on the table, what would you do? We are trying to be smart long term (kids, job longevity, real estate ownership, quality of life, etc.) and I just don't want to make the wrong decision.

Thank you in advance for your help - I am dying over here!

[samyn on the green]

It is very clear to me that you should go to Rochester. Firstly if you are not gung-ho about moving to Brooklyn you should not move there. There will be many unknown and looming hassles/issues associated with moving to Brooklyn and these daily annoyances will be amplified if you are not really sure that you want to be there. If you wanted to move to Brooklyn there would have been no decision and you would have jumped at the opportunity to move to Brooklyn with passion and vigor. Your confusion and apprehension points to you wanting to take the more familiar path deep inside your heart.

Secondly you prefer secondary cities, Rochester is a secondary city which is your preference. NYC is second to none in America. If you took the trouble to live so far from London with an absolutely nightmarish commute why would you move to Brooklyn when in the past you had an aversion to inner-city locales? That makes absolutely no sense. That is like walking a mile for a Camel one day and smoking a Marlboro the next day when you had access to both a camel and Marlboro.

Third you were complaining about the small flat. Surely the apartment you secure in Brooklyn will be small and the "it is too small in here" bitching and moaning will start all over again. In Brooklyn there is likely to be a lack of a backyard and there will be people all around you out the wazoo. In Rochester you can cop a bigger place with some greenery for much less quid than Brooklyn.

Finally there seems to be some designs for Mini-Weetabixs on the table. Judging by your ages the clock is ticking and timing out. It is time to find security in your career and find it fast so Rochester is the superior choice when considering the fruits of your loin. Your kids do not need old grouchy arthritic parents out of touch with them and their generation. It is time to hit the hay and pump the little limey's kid out. You are better off pumping them out in Rochester. Brooklyn is a better place for the transient and the childless. The public schools in Brooklyn are filled with working class louts, project dwelling criminals and little gangster wannabes. Surely not the type of company the Weetabix clan is used to associating with in their formative years. Rochester offers more job security and surely a boring, safe. mundane school so the Weetabix click can continue on for another generation.

[ogplife]

You would make the simple decision and live where you can afford. ROCHESTER. It pains me to see people live somewhere without any realistic opportunity to buy a house. My theory is you should find a place to live where you can realistically afford the house you want (not the unrealistic mansion that most of us won't attain, but you know what I mean). It sounds like you and your future children would have the opportunity to live comfortably in Rochester.

[weetabix wife]

Thanks for your reply samyn on the green. I really do appreciate it!

A few clarifications:

- I was telecommuting in Southampton for my old company in LA for a while and then changed jobs due to a downsizing in LA, no jobs in Southampton in my field, hence the commute to London.
- We already had a home in Southampton before this job in London happened.
- My husband had a great job in Southampton and we couldn't move to London.
- No aversion to inner city locales - I lived happily in Los Angeles and Seattle in the past.
- We love London.
- I wouldn't say I was complaining about the flat, we made it work, but obviously more room makes life a bit easier at times. I am not looking for a McMansion, just to be comfortable and not in the bathtub whilst cooking dinner.

And may I ask why you have to say that Rochester is boring and mundane? I guess I don't find that very helpful or positive.

[weetabix wife]

Originally Posted by ogplife

You would make the simple decision and live where you can afford. ROCHESTER. It pains me to see people live somewhere without any realistic opportunity to buy a house. My theory is you should find a place to live where you can realistically afford the house you want (not the unrealistic mansion that most of us won't attain, but you know what I mean). It sounds like you and your future children would have the opportunity to live comfortably in Rochester.

Thank you so much ogplife! Everyone, keep 'em comin'! Please!

[samyn on the green]

Originally Posted by weetabix wife

T

And may I ask why you have to say that Rochester is boring and mundane? I guess I don't find that very helpful or positive.

You said Rochester was boring and declining, since you are from there I trusted your opinion. My only experience with Rochester is passing through while visiting some of my Brooklyn friends who were on a extended vacation upstate.

Sorry if you don't find your own opinions helpful or positive.

- NYC has so much going on culturally as far as arts, music, etc. which are all of our interests right there in front of us. We would never be bored, ever. Rochester doesn't have as much choice and I am afraid my husband will find it boring, we would just have to dig a bit more I think.

- Brooklyn is booming, Rochester is declining.

[weetabix wife]

Originally Posted by samyn on the green

You said Rochester was boring and declining, since you are from there I trusted your opinion. My only experience with Rochester is passing through while visiting some of my Brooklyn friends who were on a extended vacation upstate.

Sorry if you don't find your own opinions helpful or positive.

I did say Rochester was declining which doesn't make it great but I didn't say boring or mundane!

And technically I said, "I hope that my husband doesn't find it boring"! I made sure not to give my opinion about it!



If I found my own opinions helpful and/or positive I wouldn't be on here!

[Viralmd]

90K/year isn't much for a family in NYC. YOu'd be FAR better off in Rochester. It has a LOT going for it: nice lifestyle, culture (with the Eastman School of Music they get WORLD CLASS concerts there all the time), great medical care (U. of Rochester School of Medicine)...and affordable housing and good schools.

[ontheGtrain]

Your head is telling you to go upstate but your heart wants the big city and the risk of the start up. If I were you I would go to the city and put off on plans for having a kid. If you really got have that kid now I'd go upstate.

[Henna]

You didn't say what your husband will be doing or how much he expects to make.

If you hadn't said you want kids in the "near future" I would say go to Brooklyn. The job sounds exciting (though is it secure -- if venture capitalists are investing doesn't that mean it's risky and could fail?) and you will probably make some great contacts. If you are the only one working, how will that work when you need to take time off for the eventual baby?

If you really want the chance to experience NYC life, now is the time. If you settle down and have children elsewhere, I don't think the opportunity will present itself so easily again.

Everyone thinks NY rent prices are insane, but given what you deal with in London, $1500 for a one bedroom in a nice outer borough neighborhood does not seem too bad.

But. . .if you think that first child is coming within the next 3 years, I wouldn't move to Brooklyn on your salary alone. As as childless couple, you would be fine.