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Old 08-04-2008, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Queens
536 posts, read 2,093,896 times
Reputation: 166

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Not to mention when we're talking about NYC "white", "black" and "hispanic" are really broad brush strokes that cover dozens of cultures each...

 
Old 08-05-2008, 01:39 AM
 
Location: THE THRONE aka-New York City
3,012 posts, read 5,176,853 times
Reputation: 1143
Exactly if u cant handle ny than just move back fo real. We have enough transplants here already. U coming in this forum complaining to nyers is not going to change anything. U signed up for this when u decided to make that move. NYC is crazy.

Last edited by Viralmd; 08-05-2008 at 07:27 AM..
 
Old 08-05-2008, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Madison, WI
141 posts, read 329,112 times
Reputation: 294
As other people have observed, men stare and catcall at women anywhere one travels. My experience is that this is not exclusive to any particular race. I don't enjoy it any more than any other woman does, but I roll with it. My attitude is, if someone isn't touching me, it's not a big enough deal to get up in arms about. You say something back or ignore it, and go on with your day. Not a big deal. Really. Generally, in New York, people stop bothering you if you show them that you can give as good as you're getting and that you're not impressed or intimidated by them.

If you don't like being around a lot of people from multiple racial and ethnic backgrounds and in an environment where people feel a little more free to be more blunt and direct with you, New York is probably not the best place for you. I love New York precisely because of those things and can't imagine why someone who doesn't want to be in that situation would want to be in New York.

Last edited by Viralmd; 08-05-2008 at 12:00 PM..
 
Old 08-06-2008, 08:55 AM
 
1,551 posts, read 1,754,282 times
Reputation: 257
Default that's not the point..

Quote:
Originally Posted by K.O.N.Y View Post
Exactly if u cant handle ny than just move back fo real. We have enough transplants here already. U coming in this forum complaining to nyers is not going to change anything. U signed up for this when u decided to make that move. NYC is crazy.
It's not about NY city. I think someone really hit the nail on the head when they said it was a class and cultural issue. I've lived in Florida, California, Colorado... and it's always the people - not always mexican or hispanic, although they did it a lot - driving old trashy cars or beat up old work trucks that will honk at you and make disgusting faces.
As I said, it's not just Mexicans as someone suggested - I live in Harlem and it happens to me almost EVERY DAY from black men in my neighborhood.

The bigger question is WHY DO THEY DO THIS??? IF there are any men out there reading that are guilty of this, speak up. How would they like someone saying things like that to their mother? Or looking their sister up and down like a pervert? It's disgusting and pathetic. Is it that they're so nasty and undesirable that it's the only way they can interact with a woman? It must come from deep insecurities of some kind. Anyone from a good home and good breeding would NEVER do and say the things that some of these guys do. "Yeeaaahh you lookin good baby..." And even more puzzling is when you stand up for yourself or tell them to get away from you THEY get p&%@& like you've offended THEM!! There was a guy once who grabbed my ass on the street and I turned on him and told him to get the f*$@ away and not to touch me. And he got ALL up in my face. I seriously thought he was going to hit me (and this was a white guy, btw)
SO in response to all those men who degrade women on the streets and give the "hey baby you lookin' good" stuff...Well you look like a f*$#^@* degenerate piece of trash. Shut your filthy mouth.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 01:19 PM
 
3,225 posts, read 7,501,331 times
Reputation: 868
The bigger question is WHY DO THEY DO THIS??? IF there are any men out there reading that are guilty of this, speak up. How would they like someone saying things like that to their mother? Or looking their sister up and down like a pervert? It's disgusting and pathetic. Is it that they're so nasty and undesirable that it's the only way they can interact with a woman? It must come from deep insecurities of some kind. Anyone from a good home and good breeding would NEVER do and say the things that some of these guys do. "Yeeaaahh you lookin good baby..." And even more puzzling is when you stand up for yourself or tell them to get away from you THEY get p&%@& like you've offended THEM!! There was a guy once who grabbed my ass on the street and I turned on him and told him to get the f*$@ away and not to touch me. And he got ALL up in my face. I seriously thought he was going to hit me (and this was a white guy, btw)
SO in response to all those men who degrade women on the streets and give the "hey baby you lookin' good" stuff...Well you look like a f*$#^@* degenerate piece of trash. Shut your filthy mouth.

.................................................. ................................................

Totally agree with, empathise, commiserate with, understand the full range of emotions expressed above.

No one should be physically touched by another in a sexual way unless permitted by the person touched. No one should be subject to vulgar verbal assaults either.

However, I do NOT see anything wrong with someone commenting to a passrby that that passerby looks great or beautiful. I see this as a compliment not a verbal assault.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 01:32 PM
 
Location: No Sleep Til Brooklyn
1,413 posts, read 4,677,913 times
Reputation: 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLDanford View Post
It's not about NY city. I think someone really hit the nail on the head when they said it was a class and cultural issue. I've lived in Florida, California, Colorado... and it's always the people - not always mexican or hispanic, although they did it a lot - driving old trashy cars or beat up old work trucks that will honk at you and make disgusting faces.
As I said, it's not just Mexicans as someone suggested - I live in Harlem and it happens to me almost EVERY DAY from black men in my neighborhood.

The bigger question is WHY DO THEY DO THIS??? IF there are any men out there reading that are guilty of this, speak up. How would they like someone saying things like that to their mother? Or looking their sister up and down like a pervert? It's disgusting and pathetic. Is it that they're so nasty and undesirable that it's the only way they can interact with a woman? It must come from deep insecurities of some kind. Anyone from a good home and good breeding would NEVER do and say the things that some of these guys do. "Yeeaaahh you lookin good baby..." And even more puzzling is when you stand up for yourself or tell them to get away from you THEY get p&%@& like you've offended THEM!! There was a guy once who grabbed my ass on the street and I turned on him and told him to get the f*$@ away and not to touch me. And he got ALL up in my face. I seriously thought he was going to hit me (and this was a white guy, btw)
SO in response to all those men who degrade women on the streets and give the "hey baby you lookin' good" stuff...Well you look like a f*$#^@* degenerate piece of trash. Shut your filthy mouth.
If you've read the thread, you'll see that they do it because there are women with low self-esteem out there who do respond. In addition, the behavior like all sexual aggression, is about a pathetic attempt to feel powerful.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 01:51 PM
 
1,551 posts, read 1,754,282 times
Reputation: 257
.................................................. ................................................

Totally agree with, empathise, commiserate with, understand the full range of emotions expressed above.

No one should be physically touched by another in a sexual way unless permitted by the person touched. No one should be subject to vulgar verbal assaults either.

However, I do NOT see anything wrong with someone commenting to a passrby that that passerby looks great or beautiful. I see this as a compliment not a verbal assault.[/quote]
--------------------------

Hold on a minute - let's be clear here. I'm not saying it's rude for someone to say "you look very nice today." I've experienced that too and that is actually a kindness. The issue lies in the WAY it is said. If it's said using vulgar language/tone or gestures or a leering stare, THAT is worth a slap in the face.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 01:59 PM
 
3,225 posts, read 7,501,331 times
Reputation: 868
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLDanford View Post
.................................................. ................................................

Totally agree with, empathise, commiserate with, understand the full range of emotions expressed above.

No one should be physically touched by another in a sexual way unless permitted by the person touched. No one should be subject to vulgar verbal assaults either.

However, I do NOT see anything wrong with someone commenting to a passrby that that passerby looks great or beautiful. I see this as a compliment not a verbal assault.
--------------------------

Hold on a minute - let's be clear here. I'm not saying it's rude for someone to say "you look very nice today." I've experienced that too and that is actually a kindness. The issue lies in the WAY it is said. If it's said using vulgar language/tone or gestures or a leering stare, THAT is worth a slap in the face.[/quote]
.................................................. .................................................. .....

Agreed.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Grand Forks
190 posts, read 731,075 times
Reputation: 93
Good point made. But to the people who keep alluding to races / ethnicities when making their comments: are you from New York? Have you worked or lived in multiple neighborhoods?
I'm a New Yorker, lived here just about all my life and I can tell you that I have achieved prejudices based on different experiences here and elsewhere. I admit I'm a racist and the race I can't stand is the human race. I agree that black and Hispanic men make lewd comments, gestures, etc. Honestly, have any of you lived or worked near the finance areas. The white finance-types do keep it hidden until they rove in packs. I was working on 55th and Park around 99 and a not very attractive, very skinny woman passed by. I thought she wasn't worth a glance but because she was blonde and blue-eyed with big fake boobs and not much else going on, these finance guys started carrying on like they were in a strip club. I heard one of them say, "How about my d--- between those thighs?" Very audible for the woman and myself to hear it. I'm a guy and I couldn't believe the crassness and lack of tact. Anyway, the woman ignored it; I have also seen women laugh off things like this. I bet if it were a minority group doing it she would have been thoroughly disgusted and probably would have said something.
Anecdotes aside, this is a very diverse city. You take the good with the bad. I posted before that I don't agree with that behavior and no woman should be subjected to it but I doubt it's going to change. Ignore it. Oh and keep in mind that perversion transcends culture, race, ethnicity, religion, creed, etc.

Gimme my rep points.
 
Old 08-06-2008, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Stanwood, Washington
658 posts, read 614,867 times
Reputation: 172
Are you wearing clothes that show skin? Well duh, what do you expect? For men to just turn off their sexual radar because YOU don't want attention?

If you're not in business, don't advertise. Duh!

Last edited by Viralmd; 08-06-2008 at 03:47 PM.. Reason: offensive language
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