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Old 10-19-2011, 11:36 AM
 
365 posts, read 428,329 times
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It just didn't make sense! I'm blonde and etc. I see these 5 ft hispanic men, the ones who deliver food. They say things and when I walk by they say things.......last sentence, "I even had a guy grab my "butt" on the train". I mean....that last sentence alone is completely different then someone 'catcalling", that's an assult. And this is why I say, this person doesn't convince me as being concerned about men calling out to her, as much as she is about the attention

 
Old 10-19-2011, 01:13 PM
bg7
 
7,698 posts, read 8,120,118 times
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Try walking about alone in Sann'a if you think its bad here.

Its cultural. NYC is a city of immigrants (40% or so) - its acceptable in other countries and its brought here.
For those of you who think its "just men" - not so, try Oslo, try Geneva, try Salt Lake City. Not the same at all.
 
Old 10-19-2011, 01:37 PM
 
771 posts, read 857,731 times
Reputation: 466
this thread is like three years old damn
 
Old 10-19-2011, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,595 posts, read 13,080,907 times
Reputation: 16135
Default A man's perspective..

I see this on public transport and the street sometimes. These guys are just losers. They (Unless they are brain dead) know they will not get a woman's phone number or a date from this, So a lot of it is macho B.S. to feel manly.

Some guys just stare, Without saying anything. In this case (And I have been guilty as well) They may want to approach, star a conversation etc but cant get up the nerve. Usually its more of a long glance, look away, repeat kind of thing. Staring is not polite either, But it's the look that can be unsettling. Some guys have that creepy look in their eyes that makes you just want to go on the opposite direction. They just stare, and a long one at that. The touching, however is not acceptable. You should flag down a cop if this happens.

Enjoy NYC, and welcome. And just ignore their verbal impoliteness. Once you pass them, in such a big city you will likely never have to see them again. You came from Nevada you say, which has less people to a city with people packed together. It's just the law of averages as there are more people.
 
Old 10-19-2011, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
1,148 posts, read 2,599,367 times
Reputation: 845
Quote:
Originally Posted by unlvstudent View Post
I haven't been in NYC very long (originally from Nevada) but never in my life have I experienced so many creepy men who blatantly stare me up and down, say nasty sexual comments to me, call me names, etc. until I moved here. I'm a pretty attractive, young, blonde girl, which is very common where I'm from, so I assume the guys there are just used to it. But here it's just ridiculous! So is it normal for a female to have 5 foot tall Hispanic men (oh you know what I'm talking about, I see them everywhere. They're all hispanic, short, and creepy. Often seen delivering food.) on the subway staring and whispering at you? To walk past a guy on the street and have him stop and turn around and shout something at you? When I'm walking down the street and see a group of construction workers I know what's coming. I've even had a guy grab my ass on a crowded subway.

Do these men have ANY respect for women?
Yeah, I experienced that too in NYC. I had not experienced that anywhere else I lived except there. I think it is because there is closer proximity with men of a lower species who think it is okay to sexually gawk and harass women on the street. There are even some who stand around doing nothing all day near the sidewalk like predators looking for prey. I find it degrading and disgusting and oftentimes feared that I might be cornered and raped if I were not wary of where I walked. There was this one guy on the subway platform who was looking at porn material in a magazine. Then after he had his amusement with it, he put it away and saw me-dressed as frumpy as can be in a gigantic puff parka and covered head to toe with scarf and boots looking quite unfeminine and militant, and yet he still was able to stare at me up and down in a horny sexual way as if I was one of those women in his smut mag.

But really, I'd hate to say it and flame me if you will but I think it is a cultural thing. In their home countries, as I think a lot of these men are immigrants, it is common for men to behave that way towards women. Not that I think it is right, but they are importing that cave men behavior from the norms of their original country. They have a lot to learn about how to act towards women in America!
 
Old 10-19-2011, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Bronx
16,043 posts, read 18,562,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
I see this on public transport and the street sometimes. These guys are just losers. They (Unless they are brain dead) know they will not get a woman's phone number or a date from this, So a lot of it is macho B.S. to feel manly.

Some guys just stare, Without saying anything. In this case (And I have been guilty as well) They may want to approach, star a conversation etc but cant get up the nerve. Usually its more of a long glance, look away, repeat kind of thing. Staring is not polite either, But it's the look that can be unsettling. Some guys have that creepy look in their eyes that makes you just want to go on the opposite direction. They just stare, and a long one at that. The touching, however is not acceptable. You should flag down a cop if this happens.

Enjoy NYC, and welcome. And just ignore their verbal impoliteness. Once you pass them, in such a big city you will likely never have to see them again. You came from Nevada you say, which has less people to a city with people packed together. It's just the law of averages as there are more people.
Thats why its best to wear sunglasses on the subway. You can look into any womens eye and she wont notice that your looking at her.
 
Old 10-19-2011, 03:54 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,501 posts, read 5,693,069 times
Reputation: 3434
THis is crazy. Anyone can look at anyone in however manner that they choose. Being upset at the groping, lewd calls etc are understandable, but the idea about how or why someone looks at you is highly debatable. Just the idea that it would be considered harrassment is laughable.

However I will say that in my experience, women are fine with men cold approaching as long as they are physically attracted to that man. Only when they are not attracted to the man do they come up with all sorts of principles and complaints.

As for the OP it does come off as if she would be ok (or have less of an issue with it atleast) if the men were white. Otherwise, why is so much emphasis being placed on their race?
 
Old 10-19-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,501 posts, read 5,693,069 times
Reputation: 3434
Quote:
Originally Posted by s06 View Post
I attended a free, introductory, self-defense course last year. The instructor said that he had a black belt, but hadn't ever experienced a situation where he'd needed to defend himself- The most he'd witnessed was one man arguing loudly with another man, and had shouted loudly for the man to stop.

One of the moves that he said that we could do was yank our arm out of an attacker's grip. He even role-played the scene with me, which, of course, worked: I was able to yank my arm out of his grip, and he said, "Good!"

This is complete rubbish in a real-life situation. The family members who'd attacked me as a child would grab my arms and wouldn't let go, no matter what I tried to do- I couldn't escape, and hitting or kicking them back only incensed them further, and they'd continue to hit me or hold my arms. A thin girl isn't a match for taller, overweight adults who have thicker, stronger arms.

So, just because an instructor has been trained in karate or judo, doesn't mean that their advice will work in the real world and that they know what they're talking about.
It's all in knowing where the pressure points are and where and how to hit them.

Besides, regardless of how big, tall or strong someone is, we all have "soft features" that are sensitiave and cause damage. Hitting someone square in the nose will hurt regardless of the person.
 
Old 10-19-2011, 04:28 PM
 
Location: The United States of Amnesia
1,362 posts, read 1,559,721 times
Reputation: 686
Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
THis is crazy. Anyone can look at anyone in however manner that they choose. Being upset at the groping, lewd calls etc are understandable, but the idea about how or why someone looks at you is highly debatable. Just the idea that it would be considered harrassment is laughable.

However I will say that in my experience, women are fine with men cold approaching as long as they are physically attracted to that man. Only when they are not attracted to the man do they come up with all sorts of principles and complaints.

As for the OP it does come off as if she would be ok (or have less of an issue with it atleast) if the men were white. Otherwise, why is so much emphasis being placed on their race?
I agree. You can't control how another human being looks at you or reacts towards you so either don't pay attention to it or if you feel threatened by it fight them (but remember they will fight back). I understand the groping but looking and commenting can't really hurt you unless you allow it.

I also agree that if the right dude were to catcall then the woman would be just fine with it. I also feel as though some women chalk it up as a bragging rights. "Oh, this creepo was staring at me at the subway. God! i just want to be left alone"
 
Old 10-19-2011, 04:47 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
5,501 posts, read 5,693,069 times
Reputation: 3434
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sith Klato View Post
I agree. You can't control how another human being looks at you or reacts towards you so either don't pay attention to it or if you feel threatened by it fight them (but remember they will fight back). I understand the groping but looking and commenting can't really hurt you unless you allow it.

I also agree that if the right dude were to catcall then the woman would be just fine with it. I also feel as though some women chalk it up as a bragging rights. "Oh, this creepo was staring at me at the subway. God! i just want to be left alone"
Oh most definately! And I whole heartedly agree with the bolded. Not to make light of it, because I'm sure a lot of these women do feel victimized and that the attention is unwanted to some extent

However, if I said it once I've said it a million times, if no man ever said or looked their way in the street from this day on, a lot of these women would would develop mental/self-esteem issues.

If no man complimented, looked or leered at them while they were on the street, they would think that something was wrong with themselves. I think that this is especially true if they saw other women getting this attention, while they weren't getting any. Like you said, the mere mention attention gives them bragging rights...and I'll even go so far to say that it is a medicine for reassurance that can even see themselves as sexually attractive.
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